Temptation
by Parker Joe
Summary: Jack and Janet's wedding day has finally arrived. Will Carly be able to let him go? Or will she give in to Temptation and follow her heart?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

The world had tilted off it's axis. That was the only way to explain the growing knot in her stomach. It was the only way to explain the past few weeks. Three weeks, five days, nineteen hours, to be precise. Unlike most life-changing moments, Carly knew down the precise minute when the latest disaster in her life had struck. It was the moment she'd stumbled on Jack asking Janet to marry him.

Not that she'd needed proof she was cursed, but the Universe cruelly reminded her every time she turned around.

Before she could even catch her breath, they'd set a wedding date. The kids--particularly Sage--had not taken it well. Parker seemed disappointed by the news and unenthuiastically agreed to be an usher. JJ shut down, flatly rejecting any attempt to talk about his feelings, and refused to be an usher. Sage had run into her arms, crying and begging her to stop the wedding. All Carly could do was swallow the lump in her throat and promise Sage her daddy loved her no matter what.

Now the day had arrived.

"Mom...we've got a problem." Parker uneasily approached her with a concerned look. "Sage says she's not going."

Carly sighed and headed upstairs to her daughter's room. "Don't worry, just make sure you and JJ are ready. Aaron's picking you up at eleven."

"Maybe....maybe Sage would feel better if you came along." Parker hesitated to continue. "Maybe we all would."

"We've discussed it, Parker. It's not appropriate for me to be there. You understand why, right? This is Janet's day, and----"

"But you're invited, right? It's not like with Katie---you weren't _un_invited--you could---"

"Parker...that's enough. I _can't_...I just _can't_ go." It was bad enough putting on a front for the kids at home. There was no way she'd be able to sit through an entire ceremony.

"Maybe Dad should know that," Parker replied, balancing his teenage sarcasm and disappointment in his role models perfectly. "And maybe you should tell him why," he added for good measure.

Carly gave him a look of steely disapproval, and continued upstairs. Tapping softly on Sage's door, she found her daughter sitting defiantly on her bed, arms crossed, and a scowl across her face.

"I'm _not_ going...you can't _make_ me!"

Carly recognized that stubborn face, she'd worn it herself throughout her childhood. "Okay," Carly shrugged her shoulders. "You don't have to go."

Suspiciously, her daughter's eyes narrowed. "Really?"

"Yep. If you feel this strongly, it's not right to force you. You're old enough to know what you want."

Sage leapt off her bed and wrapped her arms around Carly's waist. "Thanks, Mom."

Carly kissed the top of her head as she returned the hug. "There is one condition though. You call dad and tell him." Carly's grip tightened as Sage tried to twist and pull away from her.

"Please Mom, don't make me!"

The sound of Sage's sobs broke her heart. Carly held on tightly, stroking her hair as the tears came out. "I know you're not happy about Janet. But I know you love your Dad. And you'll understand one day how much it means for him to have you there."

"Why can't he marry you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Carly couldn't remember her reply. She'd dried Sage's tears, let her pick out another dress when she pronounced the one Janet bought "baby-ish", brushed and curled her hair, and waved goodbye as Aaron backed out of the driveway. All the while the question raced through her mind. The more she tried to ignore it, the louder it echoed in her head. The knot in her stomach grew.

She tried to busy herself. And time after time she ended up staring at the clock. Watching the minutes tick by. Feeling like a fool for torturing herself. Jack was off starting a brand new, happy life, while she was stuck mourning their old one.

That wasn't fair. He felt the loss too. Jack was just better at hiding it. Underneath the stony detective veneer, under the anger. There were times it slipped out---but she always saw it in his eyes. He could fool the rest of the town with that mega-watt smile. Not her.

That sense of failure haunted her. Jack was the person who had changed the way she looked at life. Before him, it was all about how cheated she'd been. What she was owed and how she was going to get it. Jack had shown her how to build the life she'd always wanted. She could imagine her life if they'd never met. Filled with bitterness, unloved and failing her children at every turn.

She owed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

It was a bad idea. A very bad idea. Not that that had never stopped her before.

The smart play was to just stay out of it. But she couldn't. Not when her kids were affected by it.

That's why she raced out of Milltown, sped down secondary streets and pulled into the back parking lot. If Jack didn't listen to what she had to say, that was his choice. At least her conscience would be clear. For her kids, for everything they had meant to each other, she owed it to him to at least try.

Ignoring the limosine swathed in crepe paper streamers more appropriate for a drunken high school prom, Carly slipped in the back entrance to the church. The back hallway was deserted, giving her a clear shot to the side room where the groom typically sweated out his last nervous moments before the wedding. Carly steeled herself, knowing Jack would hurl accusations, and started down the hall. Only the sudden clamping down on her arm stopped her.

"What...the...hell do you think you're doing?" Margo's normal stoic demeanor gave way to distain. "I should have known you'd show up," she added. "Like a vulture."

"It's none of your business," Carly shot back, jerking her arm free.

"I'm _making _it my business."

Carly rolled her eyes. More than once she'd questioned Hal and Jack's unswerving loyalty to the woman. Today, that high moral tone worked her last nerve. "Let me guess...Janet hired you as her own personal bouncer?"

"I could make a fortune," Margo snarled, "keeping you out of places you're not supposed to be. Can't you for once, just leave Jack alone?"

"Who says I'm here to bother Jack? My children do happen to be in attendance. And as a matter of fact, I was invited. You can check with Jack if you like." In fact, Carly hoped she would. It would make locating Jack faster and easier.

"So, that explains why you're skulking around a church on Jack's wedding day?" Margo asked mockingly. "Most people would think twice about lying in church. But look who I'm talking to," she added with a sniff.

Tom popped into view. "What is going on here? I can hear you all the way----_ooohh_..." Tom stopped, catching sight of Carly. "I think it's best if we take this outside," he asserted, taking his wife by the elbow.

"I'm not going anywhere," Margo snapped.

"Neither am I...I have every right to be here," Carly added defensively. "Your wife is trying---"

Margo snorted in disbelief. "The woman couldn't even wait to---"

Tom interrupted her. "Maybe I should handle this," he said, attempting to calm his wife. "There's no reason to bring up personal animosities today."

"This isn't like that," Margo denied.

"I think we both know why this would be a sore subject for you," Tom reasoned. "In light of Katie." Margo started an objection, but pursed her lips and headed outside, pounding her fist against the door as she exited. "Now, Carly..."

"Don't _now, Carly_, me, Tom." Grinning, Carly patted his arm, and turned on her heel. "There's something I really have to do. Now." She took two steps before Tom had her arm. "You can move your hand....or lose it," Carly said, glaring at him.

His reply faded into the background the second she heard the door open. Like a dream, Jack emerged in slow motion, elegant in his dark suit, hands shoved deep into his pockets.

Carly's heart stopped. Her chance had slipped away. And with it went any pretense this was "only" about the children. In her heart of hearts, she'd hoped he'd take one look at her and call off his wedding to Janet, without her even uttering a word. He'd admit he never stopped loving her, and vow to say it every day for the rest of his life. She'd see it in his eyes---that determination that was dangerous and comforting all at the same time. The look that told her she was the center of his life.

So much for Hollywood endings.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The rustle of taffeta snapped her back to the present. Carly felt the blood drain from her face. The last thing she wanted to see was Janet in her bridal glory. Swathed in miles of lace, glowing with happiness, complete with a fingertip veil and cathedral train. Stepping back, she again wished Tom's arm away. Only this time to permit a retreat, saving her the humiliation of being seen.

"Are you alright?" Tom whispered, looking confused.

Shaking her head, Carly wanted the earth to open up beneath her feet and swallow her whole.

As usual, the Universe ignored her.

Only this time, she was glad it did.

There was a slump to his shoulders. Why she hadn't noticed it til now, Carly didn't know. Shock, perhaps. But it kept her feet still one extra moment.

Then all hell broke loose.

Instead of a happy bride emerging, a battered bouquet hit Jack in the face, followed by a string of high pitched Italian curses. Janet charged out, shoving Jack into the wall as she continued venting, switching back and forth between English and Italian as her rage grew.

"You sonofabitch!" Red-faced and out of breath, Janet slapped him. Hard enough that his head snapped to the side, and Carly could see his cheek already turning red. Her hand rose again to strike, but Jack stopped it in mid-air.

"I'm sorry," was all he could manage to say.

"So am _I_!" Janet spit before whirling back into the room and slamming the door in his face.

Jack slumped against the wall, working his jaw tenderly. After a moment, he loosened his tie, took a deep breath, and headed into the sanctuary.

Dazed, Carly continued to stare at the empty hallway. "Did I really...did that _really_ happen?" she asked Tom after a minute.

"You didn't know?"

Carly shook her head. "I couldn't even admit it to myself...until I saw him in the hall."

"I don't know exactly what happened. As we drove in, Margo spotted Jack in the cemetery by Hal's grave. She joined him to pay her respects, and the next thing I know, she's pulling me aside and we're clearing the church out. They've been in there almost a half hour."

Her mind was spinning, replaying the scene between the now estranged couple, and analyzing what it might mean for them. _Them_...as in her and Jack. Hope surged through her veins freely for the first time in ages.

"Do you want me to bring the kids to you?" Tom offered.

What she needed was time to think. "No, thanks. And please, don't tell anyone I was here," she added before striding away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Mommy, mommy!"

Carly could hear the joy in her daughter's voice as she barrelled through the door, followed by her brothers. "Guess what?" Sage asked excitedly.

"I don't know." She couldn't help but feel a bit guilty, seeing how happy and relieved her children were at the break up. Heaven help her, she felt a bit giddy herself. That it came at Janet's expense didn't bother her. A little heartbreak now was better than a lot of heartbreak later. And she was confident Janet would land somewhere soft fairly soon. Women like her usually did.

"Daddy didn't marry Janet! He said he couldn't, and we'd understand when we got older. I'm so glad I went!" Sage curled up on her lap as she continued, chattering away with a smile that lit up her eyes.

"Yeah...Sage didn't bother hiding her relief with Dad either," Parker noted dryly.

"Quit being a suck-up," JJ retorted. "Liberty's not here. Drop the act---you're happy too."

"Stop," Carly ordered before an argument started. "No one hides their feelings here, remember? It's a complicated situation for everyone."

"I just wish he'd act like he misses our family," JJ grumbled.

"Who says I don't, doofus? But Dad not marrying Janet doesn't mean he's coming back."

Parker took off upstairs, leaving her alone with a deflated JJ and Sage. "Listen to me." Carly patted the spot beside her, motioning JJ to sit beside her and Sage. "Your dad is always going to be there for you. That's never going to change."

"I just thought---if he didn't love Janet....don't you want him back?" JJ asked, looking at the floor to avoid her eyes.

Carly held her breath, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn't raise their hopes. Or her own before she talked to Jack. "I don't want you kids to worry about this. Your dad needs time to think. All we can do is give him that time, ok?" The kids nodded, and Carly let out a sigh of relief. "Why don't you change out of those good clothes, and we'll order out for dinner."

It wasn't until she reached into her purse to pay for the pizza that she saw the message light on her cell blinking. While the kids were digging in, she snuck into the kitchen for a moment of privacy. She knew the message was from Jack before she heard his voice. _Carly...I...I don't blame you for not picking up. I'm probably the last person you thought you'd hear from today. I didn't---I called off the wedding. It just didn't feel...like I thought it would. Or should. I'm sure it's the last thing you want to hear about. Anyway, I called to let you know I'm leaving town for a while. I know you were going to have the kids anyway for the honey--but now they'll have all sorts of questions. So, I'm sorry. Tell the kids I'll call them every night. And thanks. I---take care._

The rest of the night passed in a daze. As she locked up for the night, Parker came down the stairs. "You should be in bed," she chastised in her most motherly voice.

"I couldn't sleep." Parker crossed his arms and gave her a piercing look. "You weren't surprised, were you?"

"Parker, I didn't do anything."

"I didn't say you did. But you already knew, before we got home, didn't you? Did Dad tell you?"

"No, no he didn't. He did leave me a message, but I didn't get it until after," she admitted.

"So I was right...he just didn't want to marry Janet." A look of disappointment washed over his face. "I knew it. When he didn't drive us here, I knew it."

Smiling, she reached out to hug him. "I think I like it better when you're a cynical mouthy brat."

"I know." He rolled his eyes and grudgingly hugged her back. "I'm sorry. About before---I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"Just JJ and Sage's?"

"Sort of. But not really," he added when Carly stared him down.

"Well, with your dad out of town, that's gonna stop. Got it?" Parker nodded, and she ordered him upstairs to bed.

Halfway up he stopped. "I really thought you'd charge in and tell Dad you still love him. If you didn't, what does he have to think about while he's gone?"

"I don't know sweetheart," Carly answered honestly. But thinking about it kept her up all night.

.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"No, Cindy. I understand. I hope you feel better soon." Taking a deep breath, Carly hung up the phone. Being her own boss certainly had it's advantages, but some days it was one giant headache. Two bartenders had called in sick this week, and now her babysitter was bailing on her. With her luck, all three kids would have the flu by morning, thanks to Cindy.

"Hi Emma, it's Carly." While the boys were old enough to look after themselves, Sage was out at the farm. "I hate to ask, but can you keep Sage tonight? I'm going to have to work late. And the sitter can't make it tonight."

"Why don't I just bring Sage home and stay with the kids?"

"I don't want to put you out." Emma's warm, motherly tone wasn't an act...but Carly knew it didn't extend to her. At times Emma tolerated her for Jack's sake, but there was always that hint of disapproval. She could only imagine how Emma had taken the news of the aborted wedding. Janet, for all her obnoxious qualities, could bake a mean pie. From scratch. No doubt Emma saw that as a huge loss to the family.

"It's no trouble."

_Trouble_ arrived in all it's perky blonde perfection two hours later in the form of a Ms. Katie Peretti. Snyder, Carly grudgingly added. If there was the tiniest of silver linings about divorce, it was that Carly didn't have to make nice with Katie, or call her sister-in-law. Dressed in a shamefully loud print dress, Katie plunked her Butt-Busted ass at the bar, right in front of her.

"Why, hello, Carly. Imagine seeing you here."

The fake, professional smile would have charmed most of the town. Carly, not so much. Being a back-stabbing, slandering, man-stealing predator dampened the effect. Or maybe being a woman made her immune. "Yes...imagine me being here---in the club I own," Carly replied sarcastically.

"It's Henry's club too. I was in the mood for one of his perfect martinis."

Carly rolled her eyes. It was Thursday, Henry's regular night off, which she had no doubt Katie knew. "I'm sure Joe can make that for you," she replied, motioning for one of the servers to give her a break. "Henry's been mentoring him personally. Ms. Peretti wants a martini," she informed Joe when he arrived. "It's on the house. Always nice to see you, Katie," she added insincerely before heading to her office in the back.

Not five minutes had passed before Katie slithered into her office. "It's customary to knock." Carly dismissively stated, hoping the intruder would leave and she could continue to work.

"Oh, c'mon, Carly," Katie cheerily replied as she sat down. "Can't you spare a couple of minutes to talk to an old friend?"

"If I find one, I'll do it," Carly snarked.

Katie smiled, wrinkling her nose as if to say tolerating Carly's abrupt manner made her the better person. "So, I hear business is good. I like what you've done with the office," she added after a minute of silence.

"What do you _want_, Katie?" Carly asked impatiently, deciding to end this visit as fast as humanly possible.

"Wow...I thought you'd be a lot happier _considering_----"

"Considering _what_, exactly?" Carly retorted.

"Considering Jack jilted Janet at the altar," Katie shot back. "It gives you another chance to sink you claws into Jack, right? And this time, you didn't have to fake an illness to do it."

"I was misdiagnosed, Katie. I was very sick and I could have died because of it," Carly reminded her.

"Right. And then you left Jack twisting, because you needed his guard down for the kill. 'Cause we both know he would have come home to me, _his wife_ the minute he knew you were okay."

"You know what I know?" Carly leveled her gaze straight at Katie, not backing down from this long overdue confrontation. "That by then, the damage was already done. Yes, you could have limped along for a while. Playing house, making plans for the future. All the while, the resentment gnawing away at you, wondering if Jack would ever put everything on hold for you the way he had for me. Eventually, you would smothered him with your insecurities and driven him away." Carly couldn't help but take satisfaction as Katie's jaw dropped, having a less than happily-ever-after scenario laid at her feet. "So if there's nothing else you wanted to talk to your _old friend_ about, can I please get back to work?"

Katie flushed red. "You really are a bitch, aren't you?"

"Well, you can't be the only one in town," Carly snorted.

"I knew this was a waste of time." Katie rose to leave and lick her wounds in private. "Well, maybe not," she said as a satisfied smile crossed her lips.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's obvious---you don't have a clue where Jack is either. If you did, you wouldn't be sitting at your desk or working the bar."

"And why is it any of your business where Jack is? Is your marriage in trouble already?" Carly chuckled at the thought. "He's an adult, Katie. He doesn't need a keeper..." Suddenly, the light bulb went off in her head. "I get it---it's not you who's wondering where Jack is---it's Janet. _Janet_ has some delusional idea she can track him down and change his mind?" Carly sighed. "You, of all people, should know that once Jack makes up his mind, he doesn't look back."

"He did an awful lot of looking back when he lost me," Katie smiled triumphantly. "He regretted the choices he made. Who's to say what he'd do, if he found out he was lied to again?"

"That's what you think...that I did something to bust them up? Think again, sweetheart. Janet lost him all on her own." Carly rose and held open the door. "I think it's time you left," she added, motioning Katie out. "And tell Janet to drown her sorrows in her manicotti."

Katie flounced out, leaving nothing but a dull ache in Carly's neck behind. Rubbing it, she sat down behind her desk, swallowing a couple of aspirin from her right hand drawer. She was surprised to find herself filled with a certain contentment, finally having gotten the opportunity to take Her Highness down a peg or two.

There was one thing Katie'd been wrong about. She knew where Jack was. Or she thought she knew. While he called the kids faithfully every night as promised, they hadn't spoken. Whether it was deliberate or just the unpredictability of their schedules, she wasn't sure. And she knew he'd be home in the next few days, Sage's recital was three days away. He wouldn't miss it.

There was only one place he'd go to think. It was the same place she went when she needed peace of mind. When the world seemed to have collapsed on her and she needed perspective.

Montana.

.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Carly rushed into the _Happy Feet_ dance studio, ten minutes late to pick up Sage. Her daughter was patiently waiting, watching the jazz tap class go through it's rehearsal. Between work and constantly running the kids around, her patience with Jack was wearing thin. Eleven days thin, to be exact. There was only so much_ perspective_ one could give to a booty call. It was what it was. No amount of brooding could change it.

Taking a deep breath, it crossed her mind it wasn't the length of time Jack was taking. After all, she knew what it felt like, looking in the mirror and wondering how your life got so out of control. More than once. So if he was taking the time to figure it all out, he needed it. At least that's what the angel on her shoulder whispered. The jealous, bitchy devil on her left wondered why he hadn't talked to her _once_ since he was gone. And what _that_ meant in the scheme of things. Being a schemer had it's downside---examining all the angles had a tendency to drive her a little nuts.

As they walked, Sage chatted away, with little prompting other than "oh?" or "really?" as they hurried toward the parking lot. As the passed Al's Sage unexpectedly took a sharp left. "Sweetheart," Carly stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, "the car's this way."

"But the recital's tomorrow."

"And?" Carly asked blankly.

"We always eat at Al's the night before," Sage reminded her. "It's good luck."

Carly sighed. Bless Hal---this one was his fault. He was probably chuckling his head off in the Great Beyond right about now. He'd started taking Parker to Al's for good luck the night before his first Pee-Wee hockey game. She and Jack had kept it up after his death, through good times and bad. And when Sage had been nervous before her first recital, Jack treated it like any other "big game" and took their daughter to Al's.

Unfortunately, he hadn't realized one day he'd be gone, his ex-fiancee would be working there, and Carly would be stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"Mom?"

Well, it _was_ after five o'clock....and the odds of Janet being there were slim, Carly rationalized. "I don't suppose you're in the mood for Chinese," she asked, already knowing the answer before Sage's eyes rolled and she started shaking her head "no". "But we're getting it to go," Carly conceded. "I still have to finish the hem on your costume."

"I thought you did that last night---"

"I'm going to re-do it tonight," Carly replied. In fact, she _vowed_ to rip out the perfectly good hem she had done and re-do it ten times if she didn't run in to Janet. Or Katie. Or Vienna, for that matter, who still carried a little grudge over losing Simon. Or being shoved into a crate and nailed inside. In spite of being head-over-heels for Henry.

"Can we have brownies too?" Sage pleaded as she plopped down at the counter. "They're extra good luck. Dad said so."

Carly was about to protest when Henry emerged from the kitchen, loaded down with someone's order. He smiled warmly for a second, then almost spilled a plate in his customer's lap on recognizing Carly. After profusely apologizing, he hurried over to the counter. "Sage, Carly great to see you! My favorite partner, and her favorite daughter!"

"I'm her only daughter," Sage spoke up.

"Yes in-deedy," Henry babbled as moisture started beading up on his forehead. "One girl--check. Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked abruptly as he pulled Carly over to the corner. "I think it's only fair to warn you---Vienna is not your biggest fan right now."

"That's not my problem, Henry."

"I know, I know. But you know how passionate my little Swedish dumpling can be. Janet's become a very good friend---"

Carly snorted. "Yeah, right. Katie and Vienna probably popped champagne corks celebrating Jack's engagement to anyone _but_ me. All hail the heroic waitress who drop kicked me right out of his life. I'll tell you exactly what I told Katie. Jack makes up his own mind. I'm not sorry Jack didn't marry her, but _he_ made a decision he felt was best for him."

"Personally, I believe you," Henry conceded. "I even sympathize with Jack. It's not easy calling things off with scads of people expecting free food and drinks. But Janet has cried a lot on Vienna and Katie's shoulder this past week. And--"

"And I've become the villainess," Carly finished for him. "Look...I'm just here for Sage. We're getting it to go, so we'll be in and out."

"I _knew_ we should have started offering free delivery," Henry sighed, slapping himself on the back of the head. "I'll put a rush on your order. Anything to avoid---" Henry swallowed the rest of his sentence as Vienna emerged from the kitchen.

"_What_ is _she_ doing here?" Vienna scowled as she locked eyes with Carly. "She..._she_...I do not want her here!", Vienna spit out, shaking her head and pointing her finger straight at the door.

Dancing nervously to her, Henry struggled to force her arm to her side. "_Liebchen_..." he murmured, stifling any further protest. "Say hello to Sage! Perhaps you'd like to offer her a cookie while she and Carly wait."

Vienna pursed her lips and shook her head. They whispered back and forth, until Vienna held out her hand to Sage. "Come, Sage. We're trying a new reciepe for Christmas. Who better than a sweet, _good_ girl like you to give us an opinion." Vienna tossed her chocolate mane of hair, sniffing in disapproval at Carly as she took Sage into the kitchen.

Henry let out a deep sigh of relief. "That went..._well_, considering."

"Am I supposed to be grateful?" Henry shrugged his shoulders, infuriating her more. "If she's going to have a problem with me, I don't want to see her at Metro. Got it?"

"We're partners, Carly," Henry reminded her.

"Yeah..._we_ are partners. _She_ is not. And I won't put up with her attitude in _my_ place of business. Period."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Music blared all around her at Metro as the band finished it's second set. "I wish we could book them every weekend," Carly shouted to Henry as they worked behind the bar.

"It would be tops on my Christmas list," Henry replied, rolling his eyes up to heaven in a shameless appeal. "I've been good this year, Santa."

Carly elbowed him in the ribs, smiling at his antics. Anything to distract her from the throbbing in her feet. "How much not to narc you out to Santa? I happen to know---"

"Hey...I didn't say what I'd been good _at_," he laughed.

"_My_ Henry is good at everything," Vienna interrupted, setting her tray on the bar. "Table three wants a round of Seven and Seven's," she informed him, subtly stroking his arm while glaring at Carly. Pressed into service when another server had called in with the flu, Vienna had kept a chilly distance from Carly all night, which suited them both just fine.

Henry eyed table three, a group of five college aged boys, who were suddenly fascinated with the floor, ceiling and exit.

"Oh, my darling...that doesn't look right," Vienna said as he put five glasses of clear soda on her tray.

"Tell them if they have a problem, to come see me. With their ID's," he answered. Vienna shrugged her shoulders and left without further comment. There was a slight protest when she arrived at the table, until they glanced back at the bar to see Henry staring knowingly at them. "Kids," he grunted as the underaged sheepishly toasted themselves and drank their sodas down in one gulp.

Carly brushed a stray curl back behind her ear and straightened up, trying to work out a kink from the small of her back. "Whatever happened to sneaking a six-pack in back of the school?" she asked.

"Or martinis in the bathroom?" Henry sighed.

The crowd began thinning out as the band started packing up equipment. Confident Henry could handle the stragglers, she escaped back into her office, sinking into the overstuffed chair and kicking off her heels. It had been a busy night, and the thought of another month in the black brought a satisfied smile to her lips. It wasn't the fashion empire she'd always dreamed of, but it was hers.

Padding barefoot over to her desk, she jotted a reminder on her calendar to discuss Christmas bonuses for the staff with Henry. She circled it in red, so it wouldn't get lost in the mish-mash of scribbles, which ran the gamut from the kids' practices, to delivery dates, Christmas and Parker's birthday. Tomorrow's block was completely outlined in red, with RECITAL and 7:00 p.m. in block letters. Sage had done it herself a month ago, to make sure her mother wouldn't forget. Carly knew the very same reminders had been written on the calendars in Milltown, at the farm, and on Jack's desk at the OPD.

There was no way he'd forgotten.

Yet there'd been no word from him. Gnawing her bottom lip, she picked up the phone to call him, only to set it back down. Jack was an adult, capable of showing up without a reminder from his ex-wife. At least that's what she told herself the seven other times she'd stopped herself from calling him today.

A courteous knock interrupted further examinations on her resolve.

Henry stuck his head in the door. "If you want to cut out and put the little kiddies to bed, now's the time."

Carly looked at her watch. It was nearly quarter to twelve. "Henry, my kids have been in bed for a long time. And by now, Emma is softly snoring on my couch. But I'll go home anyway," she added before he could change his mind.

"Henry! Henry??" Vienna tapped him on the shoulder, ignoring Carly even as she stood in the office doorway. "We have an emergency," she informed him.

"I just left," Henry replied, raising an eyebrow.

Carly almost laughed out loud as Vienna reddened, ready to insist his help was needed somewhere else. _Apparently_, the real emergency was Henry being out of her sight for ten seconds, or alone in a room with Carly without a chaperone. "You'd better go, Henry," Carly said. "We can't afford a disaster of any kind...right, Vienna?"

"I suppose not," Henry agreed, clueless about the sudden source of tension between his Swedish dumpling and his partner.

"Thanks for covering for me tomorrow," Carly added, picking her purse out of the bottom drawer. "Sage is really excited about her recital. It's nice knowing I don't have to run back here afterward."

"That's what partners are for."

"Oh...and Vienna? Thank you for pitching in tonight. It was very kind of you."

Vienna stiffened. Caught in the shifting,_ overly polite_ sands...she hesitated only a moment before forcing a tight smile in return. "Yes it was", she mumbled, quickly shoving Henry out of the room.

The look on Vienna's face amused Carly the entire way home. She knew personally how irritating graciousness could be---Rosanna had used it on her more than once. And she would have enjoyed hearing all the juicy details. After pretending to be "above that sort of thing". There were many things Carly missed about her sister. Her laugh, her generosity, her practical advice..but losing the ability to call or stop by and share the small, funny details of life hurt the most. Not to mention the ability to brag when the occasion presented itself.

The crisp night air rushed in with her as she opened the front door. The house was dark and quiet, which meant the night had gone fairly smoothly under Emma's supervision. Not that she had expected anything less. "Emma?" she called out softly, shrugging off her coat. "I'm home." It usually only took the door opening to wake the older woman, so trained by years of raising her own rambunctious brood. But tonight there was only a slight shifting on the couch. Carly would have been content to let her sleep there until morning, but she'd insisted on heading home every night, enabling her to start her morning chores on time.

Walking over to the couch, she called out Emma's name again, and reached out to gently shake her shoulder.

But instead of the soft, matronly shoulder she'd expected, there was a strong, distinctly muscled one instead. Carly pulled her hand back quickly, as if the warm flesh had burned her own.

Jack stirred for a moment, then drifted back to sleep contently, as if there were no place better to be.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Carly spent the night tossing and turning in bed. Punching her pillow, she rolled over again and eyed the alarm clock. It was almost five-thirty. A good hour before her day needed to start. All she needed to do was turn off her mind and relax. Burrowing deep under her blankets, she closed her eyes and imagined herself relaxing on a tropical beach. Bright blue skies, waves lapping against the shore. Warm, gentle breezes lulling her to sleep on a soft cushion of sand. Hot suntan oil and a pair of strong hands kneaded away the tension in her back, reducing her to a contented puddle of flesh.

"We don't want you burning. And we don't want any tan lines---"

Carly bolted straight up in bed, her heart thudding hard in her chest. It had seemed so real, she swore the smell of coconut oil still hung in the air. That wasn't what had jolted her awake...knowing the voice and hands belonged to Jack had. And she didn't care to examine the whys and wherefores of Jack showing up in her dream-slash-fantasy while he slept under the same roof.

Grumpily she tossed her covers aside, letting the chilly morning air snap her back to reality. The wood floor creaked in protest as she headed downstairs, as though it didn't appreciate the early morning any more than she did. Belting her robe loosely at her waist, she tip-toed past the couch, determined to not make a sound. Letting Jack sleep---that was pure courtesy, of course. Same as last night. Although if she didn't get some coffee soon, she might give in to the urge to dump him on the floor and ask him why he was sprawled out on her couch.

It wasn't til she got to the kitchen doorway she heard the soft splash of water followed by a quiet, growl-like curse. Jack was already awake, and attempting to make coffee. Frozen, Carly debated whether she wanted to face him this early in the morning. Nightgown. Morning breath. Fresh off fantasy island. Deciding the answer was a _definite_ "no", she turned quickly trying to make her way back upstairs, delaying any possibly awkwardness until the children were up and a constant source of distraction.

"Hey....Carly? I thought I heard someone."

Caught, she whirled around. "Morning, Jack. Long time no see," she added with a hesitant smile. It was annoying how handsome he looked in the morning, straight out of bed. Tousled hair, just the hint of a beard...she was suddenly very self-conscious and ran her fingers through her hair before pushing it behind her ears.

"Yeah." Jack crossed his arms and grimaced. He started to say something, only to fidget and scratch the back of his neck. Finally, he just shrugged and asked, "how about some coffee? I think I got it started."

"It's new--the coffeemaker. Comes with a timer and everything. It's great. Nothing like that old dinosaur we had." Even to Carly's ears, it sounded like painfully lame small talk.

"I noticed. You must have had it all set up---I started pouring water in, and the next thing I know, there's water all over the counter and floor," he added with a sheepish grin. "But I got it cleaned up. It's probably ready by now...I'll bring you a cup. See if the paper's here yet. I call dibs on the sports section."

"Nah...you go ahead. I thought I'd take a shower before the kids got up." It was a stupid white lie, but somehow sharing coffee _just like the good old days_ seemed like torture right about now.

"But the shower's upstairs," Jack reminded her, confused.

"I forget to turn on the timer some times," she "confessed", another lie rolling right off her tongue. "Just came to double check. You know me...I hate to wait." Carly added a small smile, hoping to escape without telling another lie to start off her morning. "Just save me a cup."

"Oo-kay," Jack said slowly. Clearly rebuffed, a polite shield descended between them. "I promised the kids breakfast. I'd be happy to get them up and take them to Al's. You could sleep in. Have the morning all to yourself. It's the least I can do after taking off the way I did."

"Do you really want to go to Al's?" Carly prompted, raising an eyebrow. "You're welcome to take the kids wherever, but I'm not sure that's the way you want to start off your day. Unless, of course, you're hoping---"

"I'm not hoping anything, Carly," he stated bruqusely. "I didn't think. I've been going to Al's since the first day I got to town," he added defensively. "I'll find a drive-thru then."

Carly sighed inwardly, not exactly knowing how they managed to go from _civil _to _fight_ in the space of a heartbeat. Well, she knew---deep down, she wanted to know where Jack stood. So she picked at his scab to see his reaction. It wasn't fair, and the kids didn't deserve to wake up to warring parents. So she offered up an apology of sorts. "You'll never get the kids up and out of here fast enough. Parker spends more time in the bathroom than the rest of us combined. There's plenty here to fix for breakfast. Pancakes, oatmeal--I even got that thick bread to make french toast. And no syrup and orange juice gets spilled on your seats."

"But I love sticky seats." With the bad joke, the tension dissapatied from the room.

"I'll tell the kids," Carly teased gently. "

"I'm sure you will." The genuine smile he offered up lit his entire face.

Pointing upward, Carly excused herself to take the shower she'd fibbed about earlier.

"Carly?" Jack called out as she reached the landing.

"Yeah?"

Looking straight at her, he lightly tapped his hand over his heart. "Thanks. I needed kids...having a family breakfast."

Carly gave him a bright smile, knowing exactly what he meant. Kids had a way of giving you hope. Getting you through a bad day, because they needed you to get through it. "Well, you do owe me, Jack," she said lightly. "And breakfast better be good. I could eat a horse."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Twenty five minutes later, a freshly showered Carly walked into her personal version of a Norman Rockwell illustration. As Sage finished setting the table, JJ joined her, butter and syrup in hand.

"Milk or juice, Squirt?" Parker asked, walking in from the kitchen.

"I don't like it when you call me that," was her annoyed response.

"I know. _That's_ why it's my favorite nickname for you, Squirt," Parker admitted, relishing Sage's agitation.

With an impishly angelic smile, Sage turned the tables. "Milk, please....Puker."

JJ smothered a laugh as Parker turned beet red, thumping the milk on the table in front of his sister. "You're such a brat!" he squawked, pointing his finger as Sage stuck her tongue out at him.

"That's enough," Jack interrupted, masterfully squelching the first skirmish of the day as he placed a platter of french toast on the table. "You can hassle each other any time. Breakfast is better hot."

Unnoticed, Carly let her gaze sweep over Jack from head to toe. There were a few silver hairs now, but other than that, he looked the same as the day they'd met in Montana. Warm molasses eyes that saw right through to her soul; a smile that could instantly put anyone at ease. Handsome in the most rugged sense of the word. And still able to take her breath away the moment he entered a room. Divorce had ended their relationship legally, but it failed miserably on other more personal levels. Levels that included appreciating the way his butt looked in jeans.

JJ forked two slices and grabbed the syrup. "He's got you there..._Puker_," he said, baiting his brother good-naturedly to Sage's delight.

Parker retaliated with a punch to his arm. "Keep it up, Gigi. It's going to make hockey practice fun." Glancing up into Jack's fixed stare, Parker concentrated on his breakfast, ending any further mischief.

Peace restored, Jack headed to the stairs to call Carly down to breakfast, only to find her on the landing spying on them. "Breakfast is ready," he said, smiling at busting her.

"I hear. Congratulations. They're never in this good a mood for me," Carly added wryly.

"Mom! Daddy made french toast for breakfast!" Sage exclaimed between mouthfuls.

Jack was grateful for the disruption, having caught himself lingering just a little too long on the blueness of Carly's eyes. It was better than fondly recalling the lithe body encased in worn jeans and simple sweater. It was just as intimate, he knew, but harder to hide.

"Really?" Carly raised an eyebrow, one well chosen word acknowledging Sage and Jack...for vastly different reasons.

"Yep, it's my good-luck breakfast," their daughter explained oblivious to any emerging tension between her parents.

Parker's annoyance with his sibling's ego resurfaced. "That's not what he said, Sage. He said it was to get everyone's day off to a good start."

"Did not...did too!" erupted from them nearly simultaneously, ending Jack and Carly's preoccupation with implications that hung in the air around them.

"There's the loving brood I know," Carly scoffed. "I wasn't sure I was in the right house for a moment. It's nice to know some things never change," she added, breezing past Jack with a smile as he reddened ever so slightly. Taking a chair next to Sage, she took two slices herself, drizzling them with syrup.

"They're not as good as yours," Sage assured her.

"That hurts," Jack piped up as he sat down. "I admit I'm not Aunt Emma, but I thought they were good."

"Oh, they're good. Just not _as_ good as Mom's. It's her secret recipe." Sage explained with a wink to Carly. "She told me though. 'Cause we're girls."

"It's actually Rosanna's secret recipe," Carly said softly, the morning's cheeriness dampened slightly. Lying in a clinic in Switzerland, Rosanna existed somewhere without time. Her holidays were all in the past, her future nothing but murky promises of "maybe" and "if".

Sensing the shift in mood, Jack reached over and squeezed her hand. "I can't imagine your Aunt Rosanna in the kitchen making french toast. Unless the kitchen was full of smoke. Remember that time, about a month after Sage was born? She tried making pancakes---and set off every smoke alarm in the house. For a week afterward, they'd go off every time we even looked at the stove."

"I remember that," Parker chimed in, bolstering Jack's effort to distract his mother. "She told me she couldn't eat pancakes for a year afterward. Not even crepes, and she _loved_ the crepes at the Lakeview."

"What are crepes?" JJ asked, who usually separated breakfast into two categories---hot and cold.

Carly swallowed back the negative thoughts of her sister's condition and focused on the present. "They're sort of thin pancakes you can fill with jam," she answered.

"Cool," JJ replied. "Like a breakfast burrito?"

"Uhm...same concept...different fillings," Carly conceded with a laugh.

Jack glanced at his watch. "Finish up. We leave in ten."

Parker and JJ stuffed their last bites in and rushed upstairs for their books. Sage finished her milk and delicately wiped her mouth. "Did daddy surprise you last night?" Sage asked innocently. "He surprised us. Aunt Emma said he almost gave her a heart attack."

"Of course not. I knew he'd be home in time for your recital. He wouldn't miss it for the world." Carly failed to mention her shock at finding him on the couch, not inclined to admit in front of Jack the effect he still had on her.

"We got dinner at Al's. For good luck," Sage elaborated for Jack's benefit. "And now I have extra. I think I like having a good luck breakfast. Even if Parker says it wasn't for me---I know it was."

"Anytime, Princess," Jack replied, squeezing her as she sidled up to him.

"Can you take me to the recital tonight?" she asked hopefully.

"I thought Mom was doing that. In case your costume needed something at the last minute."

"She is...I meant, can't we all go together? Like we used to?"

"Honey...I promise I'll be there in plenty---"

"Of course we can," Carly answered, stopping Jack mid-sentence. "Anything for you."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"I feel like a dork," JJ lamented as he scrambled downstairs into the living room, pausing to check his reflection in the mirror by the door. Viewing the clothes that had been laid out as a suggestion, he'd left the button-down shirt untucked, tossed the slacks in favor of his favorite hole at the knee jeans, and kept the tie loose enough to slip back over his head, so he could ditch it at the first opportunity. Knocking the dirt off his sneakers, he laced them tight and considered himself ready to go.

"How's that different from any other day?" Parker muttered, grabbing the latest issue of Sports Illustrated off the fresh pile of mail on the desk. Throwing his feet on the coffee table, he was dressed per Carly's wishes...as embarrassing as he considered it. There were things you just couldn't fight Mom on.

"Any other day we aren't dressed like dorky twins?" JJ retorted, tiring of Parker's superior attitude. "I don't see why we have to get dressed up. It's not like we're on stage."

"Why don't you ask Mom that?" Parker replied, eyes glued to the article he was reading. "Wait...don't bother. She'll explain it right before she sends you back upstairs to change."

"Mom's cool...she'll be fine with it," he replied as he checked his hair in the mirror.

Parker observed his brother's preening with amusement. It was like looking back in time, when he'd first started crushing on Liberty. Now that his brother was displaying the same signs, he decided a little payback was in order. JJ had poked fun at him plenty then. Casually resuming reading his magazine, he remarked, "Did I tell you? Faith's really upset her choir practice was rescheduled. She's going to miss seeing Nat and Sage perform tonight."

"What?" JJ turned around, disappointment written all over his face. "When did she tell you that?"

"'Bout half an hour ago, when you were in the shower. She wanted me to apologize to Sage for her."

"Oh..." was JJ's dejected reply. He stopped messing with his hair, and sat down in the chair across from the couch. "Well, that's nice...that she called Sage."

Parker hid a smirk while he decided how long to keep his brother on the hook. JJ's crush on Faith was no secret, at least not since he'd overheard Faith, Nat and Sage giggling over it in Aunt Emma's barn. He suspected Faith wasn't as cool about it as she'd told the girls, but that didn't really matter to him. "She also said they'd be at Al's later, her parents were taking them for ice cream afterward." JJ perked up immediately, and Parker had to struggle to keep a straight face. He was debating on his next move when his mom came downstairs.

"JJ? Why aren't you ready yet?? C'mon...we have to leave as soon as your dad gets here."

Surveying the look he'd created, JJ shrugged his shoulders. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Besides the fact you look like a slob in ripped jeans?" Carly asked impatiently. "Nothing. Go. Now. Hurry." she commanded, waving her hands to hurry him up the stairs.

"Mom!" JJ protested.

Cold air gusted in behind Jack as he opened the door. "Hey guys. Ready to go?"

Carly bit her lip, annoyed that no matter how many times she'd asked, Jack couldn't seem to get the knack of _knocking_ before _entering_. "It won't take JJ long, right?" she added, arching her eyebrow at her middle child.

"But---"

"Don't make us late," Jack warned sternly. Sensing the battle was lost, JJ bounded up the stairs, passing Sage on her way down. Jack smiled at the sight of her, adorable in the red-and-white striped costume Carly had created. He fleetingly recalled some mention of her being a dancing candy cane in tonight's recital as she twirled, letting the skirt flounce around her.

In stark contrast, _adorable_ was the last word he would have used to describe Carly. Elegant was the second word that came to mind. The simple, copper colored wrap dress glowed against her skin, molding itself to her curves. Her hair was twisted up in a calculated messy contradiction, leaving her graceful neck bare. And the hem fell just above her knee, showing off her legs to their best advantage. The first word that always popped into his head was Hot, with a capital H, just for the record. No doubt he'd feel that way til the day he died. Even if he was no longer allowed to say it aloud.

"Is there something wrong?" Carly asked, interrupting his private assessment.

"No...nothing," he answered truthfully, embarrassed at having been caught staring. "Both the costume and dress are beautiful."

"The outfit was a little tricky," Carly admitted, picking at a stray thread on Sage's shoulder. "But I made it work. As for this," she started, smoothing her own dress self-consciously, "Sage picked out the material. She thought it was only fair I have a new dress too. I wasn't sure I'd get it done even...so it's the simplest thing I could make. And I didn't have to worry about the tailoring."

"Oh...I think it fits very well."

Just a few months ago, she would have jumped all over that statement, pressed forward and strategized multiple excuses to be around Jack. Today, although the temptation was there, she didn't want to spin schemes. "Thank you," was all she could muster in the midst of her inner turmoil.

"We have to leave!" Sage fretted. "I don't want to be late!"

"Okay, sweetheart," Jack murmured, cupping her head carefully as he kissed her forehead. "We've got plenty of time. JJ! Let's go!" he called up the stairs. Impatient, Sage and Parker headed to the car as they shrugged on their jackets.

"Don't forget to zip up," Carly called after them, as she tucked her cell phone into her purse. "Kids..." she remarked, shaking her head and grabbing her full length coat. "It's like pulling teeth to even get them to wear gloves," she said, sliding one arm into the sleeve of her coat. "Hats are out of the question--"

A sudden electric jolt stopped her short. Jack's fingers had brushed against her the back of her neck as he held her coat so she could easily slip her arm into the other sleeve. A shiver ran down her spine, raising goose pimples on her arms. Taking a meager breath she stepped away, terminating the chance of further contact. "Thanks," was her muted reply, as she looked into the hallway mirror and straightened her own collar.

"JJ? Let's go!" Jack called again, ignoring the awkward vibe that had sprung up between them. He'd savored the involuntary response, not caring how selfish it was.

"All right...all right, I'm ready," JJ called out, jumping down to the landing, then sliding down the banister. "Ya know...I was thinking...we should get ice cream at Al's after the recital." Carly handed him his jacket as they headed to the car.

"We have to get there first," Jack replied, locking the door behind them.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot behind the studio. Sage took off, using the backdoor entrance to meet the other performers in the practice room. Parker and JJ loped ahead, eager to avoid being seen by anyone they knew. Jack waited as Carly made her way around the car, avoiding lumps of snow that littered the lot.

"You don't have to wait for me," she said.

Jack rolled his eyes and held out his hand. "Just take it," he laughed, seeing her stiffen pridefully.

"I'm perfectly able to walk. Been doing it for longer than I care to admit," she rallied as she stood beside him.

"I know," he replied, tucking her hand in his arm. "I'd just like to see you get there in one piece."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned, reluctantly falling in step beside him.

"That means, it's wintertime. Icy sidewalks. And you insist on wearing those ridiculous heels."

"I never remember you minding my heels before," Carly replied, the saucy undertone laced with intimacy. "I even remember you _insisting_ a couple of times," she added, lowering her voice even though there was no danger of being overheard.

"Yeah," he answered gruffly, glad no one could see him flush crimson in the dark. "I just meant I don't want you breaking an ankle. On these icy sidewalks. You can't even see it sometimes in the dark."

"Thank you," she simply replied, warmed by his familiar surge of protectiveness.

"You're welcome. Thank you for including me tonight."

"You're welcome," she offered in return. "Sage has been so nervous this week. Every day, she comes up with another way to earn some good luck. What could be better luck than having her daddy drive her to the recital?"

"Or seeing her parents get along, right?" Jack added huskily.

"Don't blame---"

"I'm not Carly. I've been just as guilty of aggravating the situation," Jack admitted, stopping in the middle of the dimly lit path to face her. "I could have handled a lot of things better...and not just about the kids." The tension amplified between them as Jack searched her eyes.

"We've both made mistakes, Jack," Carly croaked, her throat suddenly drier than the desert.

"Don't let me off that easy. I don't deserve it," he replied.

Her head started to spin, overrun with conflicting emotions. Hope, fear, regret, relief...and probably half a dozen others. "I don't know what to say," came lamely from her lips.

"Speechless? You?" Amused, a smile twitched at the corners of his lips. "Now I've heard it all."

Even in the dusky light, Carly could tell his eyes had turned to warm honey. He stepped in closer, hovering above her, forcing her to look up at him. His breath fluttered against her cheek, sparking a leap in her pulse. "There's a first time for everything, I guess."

"Then tell me you hate this distance between us as much as I do."

At the moment, she wasn't even sure she remembered her name. But she didn't have to think to answer in the affirmative. "I do...I hate it, Jack."

"Me too," came spilling out, like the first wave overflowing a dam. He had a powerful urge to press her body to his and kiss those full, soft lips.

"Sage's recital..." she reminded him, pulling back ever so slightly. "Parker and JJ are probably wondering what happened to us."

He could hear the regret in her voice. "Yeah," he uttered softly, clearing his throat. He took her hand, this time interlacing their fingers as they resumed walking to the studio. "What do you have planned for tomorrow? I thought we could all go and pick a Christmas tree."

"I'd love to. The kids would be thrilled too," she added, brushing her shoulder against his as they turned the corner.

"Great," Jack replied, giving her hand an extra squeeze, glancing into her eyes. Suddenly, he felt his left foot skid out from under him, followed quickly by his right. Skating for a brief moment, Carly tugged his hand, trying in vain to steady him. The next thing he knew he was hitting the sidewalk hard with his backside, and yanking Carly to him to try and cushion her fall. She landed with a solid thud across his legs, and he swiftly wrapped his arm around her waist to stop her momentum from carrying her into the street.

"Are you okay?" he asked, shifting slightly as a throbbing started in his backside.

"Me? What about you?" Carly asked, stifling a smile.

"Is this funny to you?" he asked, as her eyes started watering.

"Well...._yeah_," she giggled, nodding her head. "I know I shouldn't...but seeing you go down like a ton of bricks, after insisting I was risking my neck in these heels..._now_ that's funny," she wheezed, as her chuckle grow into a deep, booming hail of laughter.

Jack held her in his arms as she cracked up, until they were both out of breath from laughing at the absurdity of it all.

After a few curious stares from passers-by, Carly pulled off her glove and brushed away the tears that had run down Jack's cheeks. "It feels good to laugh again. With you." The hushed statement hung in the crisp night air for a moment before she pressed her lips against his cheek, scorching an imprint against his chilled flesh.

"Yeah..." he agreed, wrapping his arm around her waist to keep her in place just a moment longer. She leaned her forehead against his for an instant, so close he could feel her eyelashes fluttering against his skin. Then she pulled away, bracing a hand on his shoulder to stand up.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked, offering him a hand.

He grabbed it, using it for balance as he hefted himself to his feet. "Nothing wounded but my pride," he answered, dusting off his backside. A huge smile lit up her face as he laid an arm across her shoulder, drawing her into his body as they resumed walking to the studio entrance. At that moment, he couldn't recall her looking happier or more beautiful in all the time he'd known her.

"Jack?"

The low-pitched question caught them both off guard, as Janet emerged from the shadows.

And he felt the harmony shatter deep inside Carly as his former fiancee announced, "we need to talk."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Awkwardly, Jack opened his mouth to speak. In truth, he knew this moment would be uncomfortable. A cold shoulder at Al's or some nasty earful when they ran into each other at the grocery store. Ignoring each other at a school function. In a crowded room full of people, who'd stare, whisper and start hiding sharp and breakable objects. Speculations on how he'd run into Janet again, but manageable scenarios in their own way.

Laughing under the soft street lights of Olde Towne, enveloped in the warm glow of Carly, had never crossed his mind.

"Jack?"

This time it was Carly's question, exhilaration replaced by a flinty glittering in her eyes. "Carly...I...." the words stuck in his throat, unable to put into words how much he regretted dragging her into this painful moment. "Why don't you go see if Sage needs anything?" he suggested, giving her hand a bolstering squeeze. "This won't take long," he added.

"Oh, really??" Janet challenged. "I think I deserve more than a minute, Jack."

"Janet---this isn't the time or the place---" Jack started.

"Buzz off, Janet." The abrupt, icy demand made no bones about Carly's feelings. "For once, take the hint, pack up and find some other man to drown in your lasagna."

"_Excuse_ me?" Janet replied. "I'm here to talk to Jack."

"I gathered. The fact you're clothed was a _huge_ tip off. Brave of you to try something _new_," Carly finished, venom dripping from every syllable.

Anticipating, Jack stepped in front of Carly as Janet lunged, fists balled up to give a old-school Italian reply. He grabbed Janet's arms and pushed her back as she struggled, hoping the anger would flame out as quickly as it had ignited. Whether it did or not wasn't clear, Janet seemed just as happy to rip her arms away when she realized he was touching her.

Yanking down her jacket, Janet stepped back and took a depth breath, centering herself. "I didn't come here to fight. I came--"

"You came here to ambush Jack," Carly interrupted angrily. "In public, where he can't just brush you off. _Exactly_ how many men dumped you the same way? 10? 100?"

"Okay, Carly..._that's enough._" Jack turned her around, so Janet was no longer in Carly's line of sight, and lowered his voice. "Please don't do this."

"Oh...I'm just getting _started_, Jack," Carly assured with a furious whisper. "That _bitch_ showed up to guilt you into something, I can smell it. Trust me on this."

"Whatever she's here for, Carly, doesn't matter. Let me take care of it. _Trust_ me to handle it," he asked, hoping the appeal would take. "Sage is going to be wondering where you are," he added, blatantly diverting her protective instincts in another direction.

"I hate it when you play me, Jack," she hissed.

"No, you hate leaving in the middle of a fight. Hopefully, it's not a fight. Just loose ends that I need to take care of."

Every instinct told Carly to stay. But in the end, she gave way. "I think I'll go check on Sage," she announced loudly. Her eyes shot over to Janet, who smirked at the bit of playacting. "Keep your cell phone on in case we need to track you," she muttered under her breath.

"Not funny, Carly."

"I'm not joking," she replied, raising an eyebrow before she heaved the studio door open and left them alone.

"Don't you ever get tired of her drama?" Janet asked, slowly walking toward Jack.

"What do you want, Janet? I didn't think there was anything left unsaid---"

"Before you dumped me? On my wedding day?" A small crumb of satisfaction came when he blanched, stung by her harsh reminder. "I see you did what you always do...went running back to Carly."

"I'm here with my family. If you need to say something, say it." Jack responded, ignoring the barb. "Sage's recital will start soon."

"Do they teach you that infuriating detached manner in cop school?"

"I don't like playing games, Janet. I thought you understood that about me."

"I thought there were a lot of things I understood about you, Jack."

******

"Hey, Mom."

JJ found her in the lobby before she could change her mind and return for round two with Janet. Carly gave her son an sweetly exasperated look and fixed his tie. "You look so handsome. Even with those shoes on."

JJ squirmed, having hoped neither of his parents would have noticed the sneakers still on his feet. "Mom," he protested, embarrassed.

"The truth hurts, doesn't it?" she teased gently. "Is there any special reason you needed to look outrageously cool tonight?"

"Mom!" the exclamation followed with a quick scan of the area to see if anyone had overheard. "_No_," he stressed, seeing Faith was nowhere within earshot.

Carly smiled, recognizing all the signs of a first crush. "Did you save us some seats?" she asked, mercifully deciding to move on from the subject of girls, much to the relief of her son.

"Parker thought we should sit in the back," JJ informed her, shrugging.

"He did, did he?" Carly steered her way through the crowd, with JJ on her heels. They found Parker hanging in the back row, listening to his IPod.

"Hey, Mom," Parker said, sitting up as he popped an earbud free from one ear. "Great seats, huh?"

"Only if you're listening to Coldplay through the program," Carly replied, shaking her head. "Or trying to," she added with a stern look. "C'mon," she said, motioning him on his feet to follow her.

"Where's Dad?" Parker asked, once they found seating more to Carly's liking.

"He's taking care of some business. Outside, so he's not disturbing anyone. I'm going to check on Sage. Sit here and try to stay out of trouble," she added swiftly before heading backstage.

"So...did they have a fight?" Parker asked his brother.

"Huh? What makes you think that?" JJ responded, distracted as he tried locating Faith in the gathering crowd.

Parker rolled his eyes at JJ's preoccupation with all things Faith. He'd recognized his mother's tight smile and downcast eyes, the smooth vague answer when asked where Jack was. "_Something_ obviously happened. They should have been right behind us. And what business is Dad taking care of?" he scoffed.

"He's _always_ on the phone with the station," JJ answered reasonably.

"He's been gone for almost two weeks. _Ugh_...never mind," Parker grumbled, frustrated by the thickness of his brother's skull.

"Hey! Where are you going?" JJ blurted as Parker sidled down the row of chairs, heading back to the lobby.

"Just leave your coat to mark our spots," Parker told him.

"Why?"

"When you go talk to Faith," Parker elaborated.

"When I _what_??" JJ boggled.

"_Just do it_, already. For pete's sake," Parker added wearily. "As much as I hate to admit it, after me, you're the coolest kid here. She'll probably even be grateful to talk to you tonight. How many times can you really say that?" When JJ flushed red, Parker shook his head and grinned as he left to find Jack.

The encouragement laced with put-downs left JJ a little confused. Finally deciding he had to find Faith before he could talk to her anyway, he cautiously circled the crowd to try and see if he could spot which group Faith was in.

"Who are you looking for?"

JJ jumped at the tap on his shoulder and the voice unexpectedly behind him. "Parker?" he answered, sounding more like a question than a statement, as he looked into Faith's hazel eyes. "I....uh," he stammered, clearing his throat nervously. "You know how Parker always takes off," he replied, his voice inching up an octave between the beginning and the end of his sentence.

*****

"Mom!" Sage fretted, eyeing her teacher lead the rest of her class into the practice room for their final warm up. "It's fine," she declared, as Carly finished reattaching a loose button. "I gotta go!" she exclaimed, "they're waiting for me."

"Two seconds, Sage," Carly responded, snipping the excess thread cleanly away. "Go!" she said, rising to her feet and giving Sage a swat as she fled. Carly stuffed the needle and thread back into her repair kit and snapped her purse shut. She took a step back without thinking, and jostled into someone behind her. "Excuse me," she offered before turning around and seeing it was Lily.

There was an tense moment before Lily gave a perfunctory smile. "They should have us tie bells around our necks. It's been chaos back here tonight. Is she as nervous as Nat?"

Lily's cultured voice hid any lingering animosity she might feel, but Carly felt the underlying iciness. Not that she didn't understand it, but it was another sharp reminder that the past couldn't just be wiped clean. "Probably...I'm grateful it snowed. It saved me searching the farm for four-leaf clovers. Sage is very into "lucky signs" this week."

"Nat begged Ethan for the wishbone from the Thanksgiving turkey," Lily smiled. "She had to bribe him with her DS for a week before he gave it up."

"Kids are mercenary, aren't they?" Carly relaxed a little, momentarily, they were back to being old friends trading stories about their children.

"That's a beautiful costume. I admired it the moment Sage walked in."

"Thanks."

"I bet Jack just adored her in it."

"Of course," Carly acknowledged.

"How is Jack?" Lily asked. "Emma said he showed up at your place last night?"

"Yes," Carly nodded, growing a bit uncomfortable in the sudden shift in conversation.

"Well?" Lily looked at her, expecting more details to come. When they didn't, she crossed her arms and tilted her head as her eyes drilled into Carly. "Are you going to make me ask?"

"Ask about _what_ exactly?"

"How it went. Are you back together?"

"He's been back in town twenty-four hours. We had a nice breakfast with the kids---"

"And Sage was excited about how well her parents were getting along. She even mentioned you came together tonight."

"So? I know we've had our moments, but we can manage a car ride together now and then." Lily's flicker of disappointment made the context of this "chat" clear. "Oh, I get it. If I'm _back with Jack_, I'm not out prowling after your husband."

"That's not what I said."

"But it's what you _meant_," Carly replied stonily. "I know this is hard for you to believe, Lily, but there are plenty of reasons I'm not after your husband, not that I ever was. I don't like who I was when that happened. I don't particularly like knowing I'm second best. And I _sure as hell _don't like the idea of sharing the man I'm with. I get that you may never forgive me...believe me, it's not like I'll ever forgive Katie---"

"Carly---" Lily tried interrupting, to curtail the head of steam Carly was building up.

"---or forget what a vicious _bitch_ she was trying to send me to jail. But at least Katie set out to hurt me. She's earned my distrust. Your marriage was on the rocks for a long time before Holden started chasing me. Just a year ago you were sleeping with Dusty _and_ jealous of Holden sniffing around Bonnie. So you can take your self-righteous need to keep everyone begging for your forgiveness and stick it."

"I _never_---"

"Yeah, Lily you did.However you were going to end that sentence...I know better. You've made just as many mistakes as I have. You've cheated on husbands. Let a certain Australian almost take you away from your family. Lied to protect your children. Made horrible decisions that hurt everyone around you. But that "girl next door" charm makes everyone rush to forgive you. I wish you'd bottle and sell it--whatever _it_ is that entitles you to that endless supply of forgiveness. I'd be your biggest customer."

*****

Parker pressed his nose against the window panes, scanning the sidewalk for any sign of Jack. Seeing none, he stepped outside, ignoring the biting gusts of wind that whipped around him. It didn't take long to find him, seated in the humble concession to "green space" with Janet. He watched them talk, although it didn't seem like Jack was contributing much. Janet's arms flailed and with each gesture his father inched further down the bench, conceding points and the room to make them at the same time.

Finally, Janet stood up, waiting for Jack to say something. He must have replied, but all Parker could see was him shaking his head, causing Janet to storm off, jump into her low-slung camaro and peel out, running the stop sign as she headed out of town. Jack's elbows remained resting on his knees as he sat, obviously needing a moment before heading inside to the recital.

"Is that why Mom's upset?"

Jack looked up, not having seen Parker approach. "You should have a coat on, Parker."

"Is that a _yes_?" Parker demanded.

An exasperated sigh came out as Jack rose to his feet. "I know you're growing up, Parker, but that doesn't entitle you to reports on my private conversations," he snapped back.

Parker threw his head back in disgust. "So Janet showing up is why Mom's upset. _Great_...what so important that she just had to show up here? You didn't _intend_ to meet her here, did you?" he asked angrily.

"I _repeat_, Parker...I do not report to you---"

"Oh, _God_...is she pregnant?"

"Parker!!"

"Well..._is she_?"

Jack counted to ten slowly, rubbing his forehead as a dull ache started behind his eyes. Suddenly, he was very aware of how similar Parker and Carly were in temperament. Neither would let something go until they were damn good and ready to. "No, Parker. Janet is _not_ pregnant," he said calmly and deliberately.

"Nice to hear you _do_ take some of your own advice," Parker muttered.

"Parker---" Jack's tone signalled an end to any further discussion of Janet.

"Just don't mess Mom up again." Parker's tone was just as unforgiving. "You pull the rug out from under her every time."

"Excuse me?"

"You do...you _totally_ do. You were marrying Janet. Then you weren't. She's stuck explaining stuff to JJ and Sage, while you're off "finding yourself" or whatever. Then you show up last night like nothing happened, and we're having breakfast, hanging out like a family again."

The angry outburst astounded him, for a variety of reasons he was sure he didn't like. "Maybe your Mom isn't the only one who feels like the rug's been pulled out from under them," Jack said softly.

"Ya think?" Parker asked rhetorically, before turning on his heel and heading back inside.

Dazed, Jack followed him slowly, taking his seat just moments before the program started. He had been left the seat directly on the aisle next to JJ, while Carly had taken the seat next to Parker, the furthest into the row. "I'm sorry I took so long," he offered lamely.

"It's fine, Jack," was her neutral reply. Her eyes flickered over him before giving Parker a reassuring glance, then the first dance started and all her attention was focused on stage.

Sighing, Jack turned his attention to the performance as best he could. But the phrase "one step forward....ten steps back" kept running through his head the rest of the night.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

_"It feels good to laugh again. With you."_

Last night anything had seemed possible. For few moments, they'd been back in their own little universe, with nothing but the stars twinkling above them. A new future suddenly within reach.

_Stop it,_ Carly warned herself. _Stop daydreaming. It always blows up in your face._ With a heavy sigh, she shuffled her papers and tried to refocus. Metro's bills didn't pay themselves. The excuse for working at Metro was being _uninterrupted, _her sarcastic inner voice reminded her. So far, all she'd accomplished is replaying last night's events in her head. And every time she came to the same conclusion...she should have slugged Janet and dragged Jack away. By his hair if necessary.

"Delivery..." someone called out from the front entrance, distracting her again from last night's debacle. Carly slid off her barstool and went to open the door. Obviously some new driver was working---all deliveries went through the back entrance.

"Deliveries around back," Carly called out, opening the door to find no one there.

"Special delivery. From The Garden Palace." A slim hand waggled a greasy bag of takeout from behind the door. "I come in peace." Lily slowly stepped out from the shadows, casting a hesitant glance at Carly. "Someone told me I just expect people to forgive me. I thought I needed something more than my good looks this time," she added tinge of self-deprecation.

"Lily..." Carly's voice trailed off, unsure if this was a good idea. Honest effort was all she deserved, Carly reminded herself. "Did you remember the spring rolls?" she asked, deciding to follow her own advice and forgive without conditions.

"What's sesame chicken without spring rolls and fried won tons?" Lily asked lightly.

"Eaten twice as fast!" Carly exclaimed with a laugh.

"True!" Lily agreed, as she sat down at a table, waiting for Carly to bring some plates from the kitchen. "Sage was so beautiful last night," Lily remarked when Carly returned. Each grabbed a container and started portioning out food, swapping in concert until their plates were heaped full.

"Did Natalie come home with tons of glitter in her hair? I swear..."

"Oh, I know!" Lily exclaimed. "I made her wash her hair this morning, and it was everywhere. Like bread crumbs. I feel like calling Laura and making her follow Nat around with a vacuum. I can't believe she let her daughter loose with a full can of that stuff."

********

"Unit One-Eight, code seven," Jack called in to dispatch, telling them he was on lunch. So far, Jack's first day back at work consisted of a lot of inquisitive stares and a fair amount of leg work, including a trip to Bay City. Interviewing the two armed robbery suspects at the BCPD had run later than he thought. Needing to relax, he'd stopped at the farm for some of Emma's delicious honey-glazed ham. Slapped between slices of homemade rye with mustard, slaw and a pickle, it would be a feast fit for a king.

"Hey Jack."

Jack grimaced silently at finding Holden in the kitchen, scanning the sports section. "Hey," he responded, careful to keep his tone neutral. Things had not been the same between them since news of his affair with Carly surfaced, and there were days it irritated him more than others. And for some reason, today just the sound of Holden's voice irritated him. A lot.

"So...are the Bears going to make the playoffs this year?"

"They need a passing game first," Jack contended, biting into a soft molasses cookie from Emma's cookie jar before raiding the fridge for sandwich fixings.

"Figures...finally find a running game, and suddenly our receivers can't catch a ball." Jack grunted in agreement as Holden eyed his uncharacteristically quiet cousin. Jack loved talking sports; loved talking about the Bears; especially with the playoffs around the corner. "Sage did a nice job at the recital last night," Holden said, trying expand into another safe topic. They had never had that trouble before. Since the day Jack had reappeared in Oakdale, they had joked, debated and discussed everything under the sun. They had become closer to each other than to their brothers: Seth (the replacement father figure in Holden's life) and Caleb and Brad (the screw up brothers they both tolerated for the sake of family--most of the time.)

"Yeah," Jack replied.

"Nat---she gets so nervous. She practiced and practiced. But she got back in step quickly."

"Yeah". Jack pulled on his ear, not feeling up to chatting like the good old days. "Y'know...I gotta get back to the station," he lied, wrapping up his sandwich in a paper napkin. "I've got a pile of folders on my desk."

"You're a bad liar, Jack." Holden accused. "Are we ever going to get past this?"

Jack clenched his jaw. "Based on my personal experience, it's gonna take a while. If ever. So forgive me if I can't forget you used my wife to stroke your ego," he hissed, slamming the door behind him.

"_Ex_-wife," Holden argued into thin air, wondering if Jack even realized his slip of the tongue.

******

"I _am_ sorry, Carly," Lily said, pushing away her empty plate and slumping back in her chair. "I don't know what came over me last night. When Emma told me Jack had come home, and gone right to your house..._honestly_, I was happy. For _both _of you. I know how hard it's been on you, watching Jack floundering in other relationships. I thought he'd finally had a breakthrough, calling off his wedding to Janet. Sage was _so _happy, and then I saw you, and I could tell you weren't."

"It wasn't my finest hour either," Carly admitted. "Last night was...." the word died in her throat. She didn't even know how to finish that sentence. _Awful_ sprang to mind. It hadn't started that way...but the ending left a sour taste in her mouth. "I was spoiling for a fight. You were just the unlucky recipient."

"So...who was the real target?"

Carly's mouth settled in a grim line. "Guess who just had to talk to Jack, right outside his daughter's recital?? Right where she knew he'd be??"

Lily tilted her head in disbelief. "Janet?" she guessed. Carly nodded in the affirmative. "Ouch, that must have been awkward."

"Try infuriating," Carly huffed. "Just when we...." Carly stopped.

"When you what?"

"I don't know....got _somewhere._" Carly propped one elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm. "I've been telling myself not to read anything in to Jack dumping Janet. Or _trying_ to," Carly admitted when Lily gave her a questioning look. "Walking from the car to the studio last night, we finally had a chance to talk. Admit some things. He told me he hated the distance between us."

"And??"

"And then Vampira sank her claws into him," Carly informed her bitterly.

"_Don't_ tell me you left him alone with her?"

"Not _willingly_," Carly conceded. "And not before taking a couple of swipes. But when he came back, the mood---the rest of the night changed. We spent the rest of the night ignoring the elephant in the room."

******

Alone in the Interrogation Room, Jack popped open his soda, and took a huge bite of his sandwich. But somewhere between the farm and the station, his appetite had deserted him, and he pushed the rest of it aside. It was no use trying to eat. Right now all he wanted to do was go bust Holden's head or knock down the door of his former home and demand answers from Carly. Whichever got him in the least amount of trouble.

_"You know what your problem is, Snyder?...you don't know what you want."_

Jack gritted his teeth, remembering Janet's speech from last night. It hadn't been pretty. He deserved some of the things she'd said, he'd pointed out some truths that had hurt her just as much.

_"I don't like playing games, Janet. I thought you understood that about me."_

_"I thought there were a lot of things I understood about you, Jack."_

_Jack shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry, Janet. I didn't mean to hurt you."_

_"But you just couldn't help yourself, could you?" Janet shook her head, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. "God, I am an idiot. Even after you dumped me, I let Katie talk me into believing you just had a severe case of cold feet. Because Carly had twisted you up into knots so many times, you were scared to commit to someone that way again."_

_"Katie is really the last person to take advice from," Jack told her. _

_"Nah...she's probably the best, Jack. Because you_are _tied up in knots. Just not the way she thinks. I came here tonight thinking we had a chance, if you wanted one. But I saw all I needed to see. You're still in love with Carly."_

_"I never denied loving Carly."_

_"Oh, God, Jack! Don't treat me like an idiot. Every time I asked, you said you'd always be connected because of the kids. And like a sucker, I believed you. But it's more than that. Just now---you two were all over each other. Did you send the kids ahead to get a little touchy-feely in the car to add to the "family fun night"??" Janet's eyes blazed furiously. "How many other lies have you told me? Were you sleeping with her during our engagement??_

_  
"Don't drag Carly into this. It's not her fault--"_

_"Oh, THE HELL it isn't!! Every time she calls, you go running. How many times did she answer the door in her birthday suit and invite you upstairs to check the plumbing?"_

_"You mean, like you did the first night we slept together?"_

_"I don't remember any complaints," Janet said, shaking with rage._

_"I'm sorry I hurt you, Janet. I am. But it was wrong to sleep with you in the first place. One-night stands aren't my thing. _No strings_ is just an excuse to not call someone in the morning. You're a nice person. But we don't have enough in common to build a marriage on. We never did. I'm sorry I didn't have the guts to figure it out before I proposed. It worked for a while. You wanted to stick it to Brad. I needed an escape. But where would we be in two months? Sex and food don't solve every problem, Janet."_

_"They seemed to work when Carly was off screwing Holden."_

_"This conversation is over," Jack said forcefully. "I am sorry for hurting you. But that's the last time I'm going to apologize."_

_"YOU know what your problem is, Snyder? You don't know what you want! And you drive whoever you're with insane jumping through hoops to figure out what the fuck it is!"_

Janet had turned on her heel and left, but not before jutting out her middle finger to make her feelings absolutely clear.

"Earth to Jack!"

"Huh?" Jack looked up to find Margo standing in the doorway looking at him in annoyance. "Yes, Chief?"

"Nice to see you remember you're at work. Or supposed to be," she said with an edge of disapproval. "I asked...are those suspects you questioned good for the armed robberies on the south side?"

"Looks like," Jack replied, rising from his chair.

"Good. The commissioner's been on my back all morning. Now at least I'll have something to tell him. I'll let you finish your lunch," she said, seeing the barely touched sandwich.

"I'm done, actually."

Margo rolled her eyes. "What's she done now?"

"Who?"

"Carly. Who else would leave you dazed and too stupid to eat?"

"I could be overwhelmed by my first day back," Jack countered. "My boss being on my back and everything."

"Right, Snyder," Margo snorted. "I haven't been pushing papers that long. That look on your face is always about Carly. Let me guess...you had a fight."

"We did not."

"Jack, you shouldn't lie. You're not good at it, and your nose will grow," Margo chided him.

"Carly and I didn't fight," Jack repeated. "Sage's recital was last night. We went together. No problems whatsoever."

"And yet...I find you here staring into space, leaving your ham sandwich barely touched. One of Emma's special honey glazed hams, which I happen to know you love." There was just a bit of longing in her face as her stomach growled audibly. "So...what gives?"

"Margo...come on. My personal life is my business."

"Not when it interferes with the efficiency of this department, Snyder. So I'm ordering you to spill. Spill!" she demanded. Jack stubbornly pressed his lips together and shrugged his shoulders. Taking the "immediate superior" harshness out of her voice, she prodded him again. "C'mon, Jack. we've been friends too long."

Jack cleared his throat."Will you give me an honest answer?"

"Sure...if I can," Margo answered, puzzled.

"Do I make people jump through hoops? I've always considered myself a straightforward person. Decisive."

"So Carly thinks you make her jump through hoops?"

"No, of course not. _Janet_ and _Parker_, on the other hand, think I make everyone around me miserable."

"How did Janet get into this conversation?"

Jack let out a frustrated sigh. "She showed up outside the dance studio last night, wanting to talk."

Margo's eyes widened in understanding. "And neither Carly or Parker were happy about it. Is Janet on a slab in the morgue?"

"Of course not!" Jack scoffed.

"Just checking. I was sure someone would end up dead the first time Janet and Carly got within ten feet of each other. Looks like I owe Tom fifty bucks."

"Are you done poking fun at my problems?" Jack asked, exasperated.

"Look...Jack," Margo started, "I'm speaking as your friend here. Parker is a teenager. Even ones who haven't been through that kind of heartbreak...losing his father and sister, his parents' divorce...question everything around them. It's why God makes babies so cute...so when they start driving you up a wall at puberty, you don't just lock the door and let the wolves raise them."

"I get he was just protecting Carly. He's just never been so blunt with me before."

"You'll get used to it," Margo assured him with the weary tone of a parent who'd been through it twice. "As for Janet...the woman's got a right to be upset, Jack. You dropped a bomb on her thirty minutes before she expected to say her vows. It's not like she just woke up one morning to find you gone and twice the closet space."

"But---"

"Jack...you married my sister for all of five minutes. And yet, it taught you nothing."

"So I just go around making people miserable?" he asked forlornly.

Margo rolled her eyes. "I think you're making yourself miserable, trying to recreate what you had with Carly. Katie, Janet...they're just collateral damage."

"Thank you very much," Jack said sarcastically. "You should be a shrink."

"Don't make me bring up Julia Larrabee, Jack." Margo held up her hand, tilting her head apologetically for overstepping. "It doesn't matter what Parker and Janet think. What did Carly say?"

"Say? Say when?"

"When you explained what Janet wanted last night, bonehead."

Jack flushed in irritation. "I haven't had the chance to---"

"_Jack!_ How long could it take? Five minutes?"

"It was late. After the recital we celebrated at Al's. If you could call it that. JJ glowered at Parker, Parker looked daggers at me, and Carly and I made small talk, hoping to keep Sage from noticing how tense it was. Besides...Carly made it clear she didn't want to talk---"

"---said the chicken---"

"---something else was going on with her," Jack finished, raising his voice to talk over Margo.

"You better find some time to talk to her, Jack. Otherwise she's going to think you're hiding something from her. Something _bad._ You're not...are you?" Margo questioned, narrowing her eyes. "Oh..oh.._ooohhh..._. Tell me Janet's not pregnant."

"Why would you ask me that? What the hell about me says "completely irresponsible"?"

"A woman like Janet," was Margo's unvarnished answer. "C'mon, Jack...the woman came to town to break up your brother's marriage, and the next thing I know, you're living at the farm with her. Mostly, I suspect to thumb your nose at Brad. Like she's another mess you're cleaning up for him or something."

"Well, mom, you'll be happy to know I had it covered."

"TMI !, TMI !," she yelped, covering her ears and shaking her head. "A _no_ would have sufficed, Jack."

"YOU asked."

"Let's get back on point here, Snyder. Instead of making excuses, go say what you need to say to her, Jack. Put the ball in her court." At his befuddled expression, she thumped him on the arm. "You said everything was going fine until Janet showed up. It's the holidays, Jack. Plenty of excuses to spend time together as a family. Like---"

"Like going out to the farm to get a Christmas tree."

"Exactly!" Margo exclaimed.

"Too late...she---"

*****

"---told him I couldn't. That he should go take the kids without me." Carly played with her bracelet, avoiding the pitying look on Lily's face. "Yes I know I'm pathetic. But the last thing either Jack, I or the kids need is some rebound over the holidays that ends at the stroke of midnight on New Years' Eve."

"Wow. When did you become a quitter?" Lily asked.

"Maybe I've just come to realize it's better this way."

An amazed look came over Lily's features. "You and Jack? Better off "this way"? You both look miserable to me."

******

It was dark outside when Carly got home. She opened the door to find Jack sitting on her couch, reading the paper. "We have to stop meeting like this," she joked breezily, hanging her coat on the desk chair. "Did the kids have fun?" she asked, inhaling the familiar scent of pine. A magnificent tree stood undecorated, exactly where they'd always put it--in the bay window. "It looks like a good one. Who picked it out?"

"It was kind of a group decision," Jack told her. "They're upstairs doing homework."

"I figured." Carly nervously pushed her hair behind her ear, unsure what to say next. "I see they couldn't wait to start decorating the tree," she blurted, noting the boxes of Christmas decorations piled against the wall.

"Our kids aren't that perfect," Jack smiled. "The boys headed upstairs the minute we got it in the stand. Sage will probably help you though. I brought them down--thought I'd help out."

"The boys could have done that," Carly said softly. Jack just shrugged and grabbed his coat off the hook. "Thank you."

"Merry Christmas, Carly." He zipped his coat, grabbed his keys and headed out into the night.

Carly felt a lump form in her throat as she heard him drive away. Sadly, she set it aside and went upstairs to check on the kids. After redirecting both boys to their homework and finding Sage's favorite purple sweater, she returned downstairs to make herself some tea. Instead, she stopped in front of the bay window, now filled with a seven-foot evergreen. Smiling, she remembered her first Christmas with Jack in this house. He and Parker had trekked out to the farthest reaches of the farm to find the perfect tree, hauling it home in Emma's pickup truck. When they'd finally gotten it up, Parker had discovered an abandoned bird nest hidden in the branches, and insisted they decorate around it. Which embarrassed her son every time she told the story to his siblings.

By the time she and Jack had finished stringing the lights, Parker had curled up under the tree and fallen asleep. When Jack started upstairs with him, he'd protested until they promised they would all finish decorating the tree the next day. Wrapped up in each other's arms, they'd chuckled about it while admiring the tree in the darkened living room for the first time.

Then Jack had covered her eyes and made her hold out her hand. When she opened them, in her palm was an ivory-colored ornament, a bride and groom kissing emblazoned with "Our First Christmas" on the base.

"Do you think Parker would mind if we hang just one ornament without him?" Jack had breathed into her ear.

"I don't think so," she had whispered before bursting into tears.

"Merry Christmas, Carly," he'd said, wiping away her tears and teasing her about still being an overemotional bride.

Of course, it wasn't true...not in the way he assumed. Her secrets were tearing her apart. Which just made such a perfect moment like that all the more unbearable.

Back in the present, Carly knelt down by the boxes, searching for strings of lights. She found them and one by one, started weaving them through the branches, artfully draping the tree in light.

It wasn't until she'd gotten two-thirds of the way up the tree she noticed it, nestled in the branches.

An ivory colored ornament of a bride and groom kissing.

'Merry Christmas, Jack," she whispered, caressing the delicate ceramic with her fingertip.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Emma's kitchen was filled with holiday smells from many long hours of work preparing for the family holiday. Humming while she sponged off the counter, she dried it off before taking the bowl of chilled cookie dough from the refrigerator. Dusting the surface with flour, she scooped the dough onto the counter and grabbed her rolling pin as Jack entered. His aunt offered up a smile as he unzipped his jacket and hung it up in the alcove next to the pantry. Her mood dimmed a bit as she noticed him shoot furtive looks around the room. "He's not here," she informed him, as she sorted out the best way to tackle the lump of dough.

Jack's eyebrows knit together. "Who's not here?"

"Jack Snyder!" Years of firm motherly discipline poured out of her. "I've raised six children, young man. Don't you try and fool me. Holden, that's who," she answered. Seeing Jack's eyes drop to the floor, her heart softened, knowing he thought he was doing his best to keep the matter beneath her radar.

"Emma....please."

The same stoic, pig-headed tone had come from every Snyder man she'd ever met, even her beloved Harvey. She'd learned some time ago that every one was stubborn in his own particular way. And talking would fall on deaf ears until they were ready to hear what you were saying. "Christmas dinner is at one o'clock," Emma told him, changing the subject as she started rolling out the dough..

"About that---" Jack hesitated. "---I'm working Christmas Day."

"Well, there'll be plenty of food left at suppertime--"

"Double shift."

Emma stopped and pursed her lips, certain there was more to this than met the eye. Resigned, she shook her head. "It won't seem like Christmas without you."

"I'm in your hair all the time. It's just one day," he said apologetically.

******

"Carly?"

Cradling the phone next to her ear, Carly continued to stir her batch of fudge to keep it from scorching. "Gwen!" she exclaimed. "What's up? How's Hallie? Oh...don't tell me you're cancelling. I've missed you so---I've got all this food---is Hallie sick?"

"Give me a chance to get a word in," her sister chuckled. "Caffeine your new best friend today?"

"That's not a fair," Carly groused, side-stepping the question as she poured the confection into a buttered dish. "Christmas Eve Eve is the busiest day of the year. Why should I be any different?"

"But I don't want you crashed out on the couch tomorrow. Hallie is dying to play with her favorite aunt."

"I'm her only aunt," Carly stated matter-of-factly.

"If she had a dozen, you'd still be number one."

"You sound like my kids when they want an advance on their allowance," Carly teased.

"They taught me everything I know," Gwen laughed. "I just wanted you to know we got on an earlier flight. We're actually heading to the airport in a couple of hours."

"But I'm working tonight---" Carly protested.

"There's no need to change your plans," Gwen assured her. "Will was worried after he talked to Barbara last night, so he called the airlines. We'll get in to Chicago tonight. Barbara hired a limo to meet us and we'll spend the night with her at the Lakeview." Secretly, she was just as concerned for Carly as Will was for Barbara. They had moved away shortly after Rosanna's relapse. And while leaving Oakdale had been best for her, Will and Hallie, it had been a double whammy for Carly. This summer, Gwen had sensed something different in her tone, but Carly had evaded all her ticklish questions. It wasn't until Sage mentioned Jack _not_ getting married, that she knew anything about his latest engagement.

Bridling her disappointment, Carly made light of the situation. "Trust Barbara to show up in a limo. She'd hijack Santa's sleigh to get to her granddaughter."

*****

"Hey, moron. Where's my game?"

Sitting at the end of his bed, Parker frowned, annoyed JJ had barged into his room just as he was negotiating the most difficult part of his game. "If you ever cleaned your room, you'd be able to find your stuff, doofus," Parker scathingly told him. "It's probably at the bottom of that huge pile of crap in your closet you don't think Mom knows about."

"I looked--"

"You're always losing stuff," Parker countered. "And besides...your games are too lame for me. Ask Sage. She's always borrowing stuff and forgetting to return it."

"The last time I saw it, I was lending it to you," JJ accused.

"That lame skateboard game? You were right, it was lame. Why do you even care? You never played it."

"It's mine!" JJ exclaimed. "That's the only reason I need. Just find it." Fed up as Parker blew him off and continued with his game, JJ started pawing through his desk, sorting through games, dvds and cds, looking for either the disk or case.

"Hey...stop it!" Parker yelled, taking exception to having his belongings tossed like a criminal's.

*****

Downstairs, Carly heard the ruckus start just as Sage burst through the door with Jack. "What is going on?" he questioned, giving her a concerned look.

"I don't know. Every day lately, it's something with them." A loud crash made her cringe. "That sounded like a lamp."

Jack put his hands on his hips and stood at the foot of the stairs. "Parker! JJ! Get down here. NOW!" he yelled. The two boys shuffled down the steps, glaring at each other. "What was that?" Jack asked.

"Nothing," they mumbled in unison.

"Obviously," Carly said sarcastically. "All that yelling and crashing I heard sounded like "nothing" to me. I guess I need my hearing checked." The boys remained silent, JJ digging into the carpet with his toe while Parker glared at Jack. "If I don't get an answer, you're both going to be grounded for the entire Christmas break. That means no hockey tournament and no all night bowling party on New Year's Eve," she warned.

Crumbling, they exploded all at once, talking over each other. "...lost my game...digging through my stuff...made me look like an idiot...no respect," were the only intelligible phrases until they finished, "all HIS fault!" in unison, each pointing at the other.

"This is about a game?" Jack asked, rubbing his forehead in exasperation.

"He lost my skateboarding game," JJ accused. "I want to lend it to Jason. Now I can't find it."

"I did not!" Parker argued. "I played it for like five minutes, and threw it back in his room."

"The...uhm..._skateboarding_ game?" Sage asked in a small voice.

"I believe that's what JJ said," Carly replied. "Do you know something about it?"

"Well...uh...._yeah_," Sage admitted. "But JJ never plays it, and Parker said it was lame. I just wanted to see for myself. Sorry, JJ." Then with a quivering lip she added..."am I getting punished?"

"You _should_ have asked JJ first," Carly said, smoothing Sage's hair as she looked into eyes brimming with tears. "Next week...you load and unload the dishwasher all by yourself, without having to be reminded." Relieved, Sage swiped at her eyes and nodded her head vigorously, knowing it could have been much worse. "As for you two," Carly added, looking at the boys sternly, "...anything that broke is coming out of your allowances. And any more fighting during break, and you'll be grounded till the end of January. Got it?"

The boys nodded and all three kids hustled upstairs to lick their wounds. Jack leaned against the desk, smiling. "You handled that well."

"Well, I think something more is bugging JJ. And Parker. They've been antsy since..." Carly's eyes flew open, realizing she didn't want to bring up the night of the recital any more than the boys did. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked. "The sitter's coming in fifteen minutes. Can you wait for her? I really need to get over to Metro."

"Sure," Jack shrugged, watching as she hastily grabbed her coat and purse, without bothering to button the first or check the second for her keys.

"Thanks, Jack," she said, zipping out the door.

*****

"Hope you're happy, doofus," Parker snarked, standing in the doorway to JJ's room. "You nearly got us both grounded."

"Like you care. You'd have found some way to talk Mom out of it anyway."

"What's your _problem_?" Parker asked, annoyed. "I'm tired of you picking fights with me."

"Oh, _right_. Poor little Parker always _picked on_," JJ sneered. "Maybe it's the way you treat people!"

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Parker asked incredulously.

"It means you like making people look like morons." JJ sullenly threw himself on his bed and grabbed a comic book off the nightstand. "And I'm tired of it."

"When did I make you look like a moron? Not that you need any help in that department," Parker added with rampant condescension in his voice.

"You know when...that night. With Faith," he added reluctantly.

"Faith?" Parker rolled his eyes. "The last thing I told you was to talk to her."

"Yeah...but that was after you lied to me." Parker's blank look, egged him on to elaborate. "You told me she called? That she wasn't going to the recital? That her parents were going to Al's afterward?"

"Oh...like _that's_ a big deal," Parker reasoned. "So I punk'd you a little. Faith probably thought it was funny."

"I. Looked. Like. An. Idiot."

"That's nothing new, JJ." Seeing his brother's distress, Parker offered a less sarcastic bit of advice. "Everyone feels that way a little. At one time or another. Faith's probably forgotten all about it by now."

"I wouldn't know...I haven't talked to her since."

"Oh...you are _such_ an idiot," Parker replied, shaking his head.

******

On his "lunch" break at 12:30 a.m., Jack pulled in Metro's rear lot and parked next to Carly's car. A light dusting of snow covered the ground, crunching under his feet as he made his way to the back entrance, following the thump-thump-thump of music bleeding from the building. He stopped at the nondescript door to Carly's office, rapping lightly on it just under the gleaming brass plate that read "manager".

It must have been partially unlatched, because his knock barely made a sound as the door slivered open, just wide enough to see Carly in the darkened room. Fanny perched on the edge of her desk, she was facing away from him, hunched over slightly, the way he did at the station when he was reading a report. There was something forlorn about the picture before him, as if she had been banished into a somber corner, forever separate and alone. Deciding not to intrude on her moment of privacy, he gripped the doorknob, pulling the door shut again before rapping loudly against the wood.

"Come in!"

She was sitting at her desk when he entered, a pile of papers spread before her as she keyed some numbers on an adding machine. The look of surprise on her face pleased him for some reason, even though it quickly faded. Tilting her head, she asked, "are the kids okay?"

"Of course. Cindy showed up on time, and I went to work."

"Then why are you here, Jack?"

The corners of her lips curved up slightly, giving the impression of a smile. But the real story was in her eyes. Only someone who knew her would see the slight puffiness, the unusual fluttering of her eyelashes, or the minor smudging of her makeup. She hated to cry, preferring to do it alone if at all possible. Tonight she obviously had.

"I've got a favor to ask," he answered. "It's last minute---"

"Oh..._Jack_...no." Snapping off her chair, her eyes started to blaze. "I'm sorry, but no way am I flipping my plans with the kids around for you and your crazy schedule. It's unfair of you to even ask! It's bad enough Barbara will find a way to hog the little time I have with my sister. But I'm not going to give up the one chance I've got to have my entire---" her eyes bolted upward momentarily, and the blood drained from her face. "--my family," she amended, "celebrate together."

"I wouldn't do that."

"What, then?" she asked, her voice thick with annoyance. "And what do you have in your hand?"

Jack heaved a sigh, struck by how defensive they so often were around each other. Shaking the thought from his head, he lifted his arm to show her a shopping bag. "Hallie's presents. I forgot to leave them at the house earlier."

Carly's face flooded red. "That's very nice of you," she whispered. "You could have brought them over yourself. I'm sure Gwen and Will would be happy to see you. Not to mention Hallie. You're her number one uncle."

"Paul might have something to say about that," Jack assured her.

"He's no competition for you. You've got mad uncle skillz, as the kids say."

Her smile lit up her face this time, apologizing with some outrageous flattery. "That's a lot of pressure," he said, adding his smile to her own. "What's this about Barbara hogging Gwen?"

"Oh..nothing. They just changed their flight. Arriving tonight in Chicago. Barbara went to pick them up."

"Well, see---"

"C'mon...you know her, Jack. They're staying there tonight. Then it'll be brunch in the morning, and then she'll have to show Hallie to Lisa, and---" Carly stopped herself, hating to sound like a whiner. "I just miss my sister," she finished in a small voice, blinking back tears.

"Hey..it's okay. I know it's rough...with the holidays and everything---"

"You know, that's exactly what it is. The holidays," she agreed, nodding her head. "Glass half-full, right?" Carly pushed a section of hair behind one ear and picked up her pen. "I'll be sure and give those to Hallie," she promised, settling back in her chair.

It became clear when he noticed the overturned frame on her desk. Clearing his throat, Jack crossed one of those emotional lines that the divorce was supposed to have created. "It's okay to say her name, Carly. You were missing Rosanna tonight, right?" He reached out to cover her hand with his when she started to protest. "Yes, you miss Gwen. It's hard to feel a part of her life with her out of town. But she's a phone call away. Rosanna's unreachable. And it hurts."

Carly nodded, curls tumbling around her shoulders, unable to speak.

Jack knelt down beside her chair, looking up into her eyes. "I'm sorry, Carly. I wish it could be different. Maybe some day it will be."

"Maybe," was all she could choke out, before throwing her arms around him and resting her head against his shoulder.

It felt good to have some small measure of her trust again as she awkwardly wrapped herself around him. Soft tendrils of hair brushed his cheek, as he inhaled her scent and rested the palm his hand on the back of her head. There had been a tense undercurrent since the night of Sage's recital, and every time he had tried to broach the subject, she seemed to withdraw physically or emotionally, and he chickened out. It had come to the point he didn't know how to bridge the widening gap between them...or if it was even possible anymore.

"You're being awfully nice, G-man," she said sadly. "I must be a mess," she added, sniffling it into his shoulder.

"Nah...it's _Christmas_. It's cheaper than a gift and I don't have to wrap it."

The mockery did it's trick and Carly started to laugh. "Or make Emma wrap it for you," she teased. Wiping her eyes, she disengaged herself and sat back in her chair. "Thank you."

"Well, I said I needed a favor," he reminded her, rising from his crouched position to return to the other side of her desk.

"I thought that was the presents? But now that I've added to your dry cleaning bill, I suppose I'll have to at least listen. What do you need?"

Taking a deep breath, he filled her in. "I'm working Christmas. I know it's my day with the kids, but the guys ended up covering for me after---," Jack skipped over mentioning his aborted ceremony, "--earlier this month, and it only seemed fair to give it back now. So I thought maybe I could just come over to the house, during lunch or after work and open presents with the kids there. Y'know...instead of hauling the kids out to the farm and everything."

"You...miss the Snyder family Christmas?" A look of amazement crossed her face. "Since when?"

"It's just not practical this year. Double-shifting---"

"_Double_ shift? You're working a double on Christmas? Jack...you can't be serious."

"It's not as bad as it sounds." At her skeptical look, he crossed his arms defensively. "It's a boring day, more paperwork than anything else."

"You _hate_ paperwork."

"Is it okay or not?" he asked impatiently. "If it's not, we'll just open presents the day after--"

"No..no...it's fine. I'd never live down postponing Christmas. If that's truly what you want," she answered hesitantly.

"Thank you," he replied, giving her a half-smile. Checking his watch, he realized his break was done. "Lunch is over. Got to get back to the grind."

"I was serious...stop by tomorrow if you can."

"Okay, I'll try."

"Good."

Backing out of her office, he couldn't help notice the change in her. The entire room seemed to have shrugged off it's melancholy, the light glistening warmly around Carly as she returned to her work.

Whistling, Jack retraced his steps to the exit, back into the invigorating night air. The snow had stopped, morphing the landscape with a shiny coat that glistened under the stars. Turning the key, he let the car warm up as he grabbed the snow brush from his back seat. Effortlessly, he flicked the snow off the car, first the windshield, then working down the hood and the lights, repeating the procedure as he rounded the side to the back, this time brushing off the trunk and tail lights.

Satisfied Carly's car was cleared, he swatted over his own windshield before tossing the brush into the backseat and heading back to the station.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Mom...._please!?!?!?_

Carly balled her fists in silent frustration. Love was one thing. She loved her children dearly. But nearing the end of Christmas vacation, _they_ were bored. _She_ was ready to pull out her hair. It was three o'clock New Year's Eve. The boys were going straight from hockey practice to the bowl-a-thon, a New Years' Eve event sponsored for teens by the Police Athletic League. Sage was attending Natalie's sleepover, which Lily always had the week after her birthday. And twenty minutes ago, _the most important thing ever!_ became Sage's missing Jonas Brothers cd. "I thought you said it was probably at Melissa's house?" Carly reminded her daughter. Darn Melissa's parents for spending the week in Chicago anyway. A simple phone call could have cleared this all up.

"I said it _might_ be there," Sage obstinately replied. "It _could_ be at Aunt Emma's."

_I don't have time for this,_ Carly muttered to herself. Jack was already at work, and no one was answering at the farm. She wanted to be at Metro by four o'clock to put the finishing touches on tonight's bash. If she stopped by the farm, Sage wouldn't leave until they'd searched every nook and cranny. "Get your things, we've got to go," Carly said firmly, grabbing her coat.

"But _Mom_! I promised I'd bring it."

"Sage Tenney Snyder..." Carly rubbed her forehead as Sage stood on the stairs pleading with childish determination. "Alright," she conceded. "But this is how it's going to go. _I _will drop you off at Natalie's, and _I_ will go to the farm and look for it---_for ten minutes_," she stressed, holding up her hand as Sage began to protest. "If I find it, I'll bring it to 's the deal. Take it or leave it."

"_Alllllll right_." But Sage scowled in protest as she trudged over to put on her coat.

Fifteen minutes later, they had pulled into Lily's driveway. Sage tumbled out of the car with her sleeping bag, leaving Carly bringing up the rear with her backpack and pillow. "What do they pack in these things?" Carly asked in amazement as Lily held open the door. "I swear it weighs thirty pounds."

"Oh...just the essentials," Lily assured her. "Every cd they own, three changes of clothing and all the makeup and hair styling product they can sneak out of the house without you noticing."

"_That_ explains it. Are you sure you're up to this? Eight preteen girls? My nerves are shot after ten days with my _angels._"

"I spent yesterday at the spa," Lily confessed with a chuckle. "Mother took the girls to Chicago, Holden had Ethan, and I let Inga work out a knot right in the middle of my back."

"Sounds like heaven," Carly said wistfully.

"Hey, how was Christmas? I bet it was great having Gwen back in town for a few days."

"It was."

"We all missed Jack at the farm this year."

"The kids loved having him all to themselves," Carly answered, doing her best to keep her answer short and to the point. Like any good witness would do under cross-examination. Before Lily could figure out another angle to ask how Christmas with Jack went, Carly called out to Sage, who came bounding back into the room with Natalie and Faith in tow. "Have a good time sweetheart," Carly said, smoothing Sage's hair. "And be good."

"Please---"

"Yes, I promise to stop at the farm," Carly assured her, x-ing a cross over her heart.

"Thanks Mom...you're the best!" Sage exclaimed, giving her mom a hug.

"That's some endorsement," Lily said, watching the girls rush up the stairs. "Why are you stopping at the farm?"

"Looking for Sage's cd. She couldn't find it at home. I doubt it's there, but I promised I'd look for it, so I've got to get going," Carly replied, looking at her watch. "I wanted to be at Metro by four."

Lily waved goodbye as she slid behind the wheel of her car. Free to choose her own radio station, she punched the last pre-set button and some infectious '80's pop cascaded from the speakers. Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel as the bare winter scenery passed by, she sped down the road to the farm.

_"We all missed Jack at the farm this year."_ While she had dodged the follow up from Lily, the answer hung in the back of Carly's mind. Yes....Christmas with Jack and the kids had been _nice_ this year. And while _nice_ and _easy_ were two of the blandest adjectives in the English language, they summed up the day concisely. There had been no forced politeness, no underlying hostilities, no awkward silences. The kids had soaked it up, and so had she.

That was then she decided to let it go. _It_ being the lingering questions about where Jack's head was, _A.C._ After Ciccone. Whatever the future held for them, it would come in it's own time.

_Ain't that the way love's supposed to be? _the pulsating chorus of _Jessie's Girl_ asked as she turned into Emma's driveway.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Emma?" Carly's reticent knock echoed through the deserted farmhouse kitchen. Poking her head in, she scanned the modest room for signs of life before entering. While her children lived here, at least part of the time, she was more _tolerated_ than welcomed on Snyder property. Or at least that's the way she felt after divorcing Jack. The last thing she wanted to was startle Emma in her own home, and invite more disapproval from the matriarch.

Wandering inside, she paused and impishly plucked a cookie from the cookie jar. The soft molasses treat melted in her mouth as she made her way into the parlor. Another room untouched by time. It looked the same today as the day she had first entered it, too many years ago to count. Emma's phonograph still sat in the corner, ready to play her old records on a moment's notice. But on the shelf behind it was a cd player, and Carly quickly scanned the cases sitting beside it for the cd in question.

Unsuccessful, she made a beeline for the back stairs. It creaked audibly under her feet as she ascended, sliding her hand over the polished wood banister out of habit. A soft vibration in her coat pocket, caught her off guard and stopped her. Fishing out her cell, she noted the number and flipped it open. "Hello, Henry."

"Carly..._where_ are you, partner of mine? We have a party, and no Hostess with the Most-ess."

"What's wrong, Henry? I _know_ you're not calling because the decorations aren't finished."

"You feel like stopping somewhere and picking up three hundred pounds of ice? The maker's on the fritz again."

"Damn it!" Carly cursed loudly. "Y'know, sometimes if you hit it right above the---"

"I'm not ashamed to admit I've done everything short of giving it a lap dance," Henry replied. "And if I thought it would work, _Funky Cold Medina_ would be on the jukebox right now."

"That's really too much information, Henry," Carly said, shaking the mental picture away for her own good. "Call the refrigeration guys then."

"Are you kidding? A service call on a holiday? Even if they were there---"

"Wait-wait-wait," Carly interrupted. "Go to the office and in the middle drawer is their business card. On the back is Riley's number. Give it to me. I'm cashing in a favor."

"Is he going to end up drooling over you all night from a dark corner of the bar, waiting for you to repay him?"

"Don't be ridiculous. It's not _that_ kind of favor. I sold_ her_ some good champagne at cost for her daughter's engagement party, and she lives four blocks away. I'm hoping she can work some magic for us."

"Cost? You sold her champagne at _cost_?" Henry protested vehemently as he sat down at her desk and rummaged around, looking for the card.

"If it gets us ice on the busiest night of the year, it's money well spent," Carly replied, leaning against the railing as she waited.

Across town, Henry threw his arms up in the air. "I can't find it."

Carly sighed, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Okay. I'm at the farm. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Apologize to Jack for me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I..I...uh...uh just know he's a very thorough man who doesn't like to be rushed. See ya," Henry said hastily.

The dialtone buzzed in Carly's ear before she could scold Henry. Although he was probably not the only one in town making assumptions about her and Jack. But whether her indignation stemmed from the assumption or present standstill between them, she couldn't decide.

Hustling through the search of Sage's room, she plowed through the most obvious places and struck out. With a somewhat clear conscience, she headed to the front stairs, planning on cutting through the kitchen on her way out. Passing the door to Jack's room at the end of the hall, a muffled _thuck_ captured her attention. "Emma? It's Carly," she called out. "Sage mislaid a cd. I don't suppose you've seen---"

She never finished her sentence. Opening the door to Jack's room knocked the wind out of her. Instead of Emma's worldly wise face, a decidedly younger and less friendly one appeared before her. It wasn't so much the face that threw her...it was the surrounding disarray.

"Hiya, Carly." Janet waggled her fingers in a greeting. Sitting on the edge of Jack's bed in her bra and panties, she bent down to pick up her jeans lying in a heap on the floor. "Jack's at work. You just missed him. Well, maybe not _just_." A satisfied smile accompanied the slight twitter in her voice. "I guess I kind of dozed off---"

Carly cut her off. "I don't _need_ an explanation."

"I suppose not," Janet agreed, shimmying into her jeans. "We're all adults here, right?"

"I guess," Carly lamely replied. A growing numbness kept her rooted to the spot while Janet buttoned her hip-huggers and then lazily smoothed the blankets and plumped the pillows, removing the indentation where her head must have been. The only sensation that cut through the fog was the stone sinking in the pit of her stomach.

"Was there a message or something for Jack?" Janet's eyebrow shot up as she stared at the blonde standing mutely in the middle of the room. "He's at work. I'll probably see him before you will."

"I-I...what?" The words coming out of Janet's mouth sounded like gibberish, not that she could hear them very well through the screaming in her own head. The arctic chill sweeping the length of her body obviously wasn't affecting Janet---if her standing around clad only in a bra like it was the middle of summer was any indication. "I wa-wa...wasn't looking for Jack," Carly stuttered finally. "Emma. I thought Emma was in here."

Shaking her head, Janet tiptoed around Carly and pulled her blouse from the floor behind an overstuffed chair. "Nope. Haven't seen her today. It was pretty quiet when we got here. For a while anyway," she added, a slow smile curling the corners of her mouth.

"I bet."

"So...was there a message?"

The innocent expectation on Janet's face couldn't hide the devious look in her heavily made up eyes. Rubbing salt, twisting the knife...however characterized, Janet was certainly enjoying her moment, of that Carly was certain. "No. No message," Carly answered, struggling to keep her voice even. "I've got to go," she added, willing her feet to work and save her further embarrassment.

"Yeah. Big night for the bar, right? Man...I'd really hate working nights all the time. But I suppose that's not an issue for you. Y'know..."

"I'm the owner, it's what they do." Clenching her teeth and her hands, Carly could feel the anger rise inside her. "I gotta go." Spinning on her heel, she didn't stop until she was safely locked in her own car again. Eyes closed, she slumped forward, resting her head on the hard cold steering wheel. There were no tears to shed, just a keen sense of karma biting her in the ass once again. Random flashes of the lies that ruined their marriage ran through her head. All ending with the same promise.._"I've learned Jack...I'm so sorry._"

Well, there were no promises broken this time. Thankfully, that reluctance to press Jack for answers after his aborted wedding had paid off---big time. There was no reconciliation being mercililessly snuffed out with this little revelation. Maybe it was even appropriate that on the last day of the year, a day for endings and reflections, the biggest question in her life had been resolved. She now had a clean slate to start off the New Year.

Lucky her.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

_Ah...the revelry's afoot, dear Watson!! _And with apologies to Shakespeare, via Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, for stealing the immortal words of _Henry V_, Henry the Coleman was damn glad of it.

Metro was packed with people celebrating the New Year. Every tinkle of laughter, every clinking of glass was another welcome _cha-chhhiinnngg!!_ in his registers. Whatever the lure...resolution, romance, revelry...whatever kept fannies in his seats, shaking on his dance floor _and_ thirsty was good for business.

What was good for his personal life was sitting at the corner table with Katie and Brad. Swathed in a scarlet mini-dress that accentuated her long legs, Vienna shot him a come-hither look that made his mouth water. The look on his face must have amused her, because she leaned over and whispered something in Katie's ear. Katie's eyes flew open, and then they both burst out giggling, leaving Brad completely confused.

The only gloomy note among the throng was his otherwise vivacious partner. From the moment Carly had entered the club late this afternoon, she'd been terse, distant and preoccupied. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it had something to do with Jack. But growing up in a household filled with women had taught him one invaluable truth: if a woman wanted to talk, they came to you. Until then, steer clear.

And from the looks of it, tonight even Jack might think twice.

"Henry?" Emily's svelte form took a seat at the bar and snapped her fingers to get his attention. "Scotch, neat."

"Nice to see you too, Em," he tartly replied. "It's always such a pleasure to be ordered around by you."

"It's been a while, Henry. You are a bartender, now, aren't you?" she asked, taking a sip of the aged liquor.

"Bartender slash owner," he clarified. "It's not The Intruder, but then again, I don't have to worry about the internet scooping my lead story."

"Touche." Raising her glass, she downed the rest of the scotch quickly. "And good luck. You're going to need it, trying to stay in business with Carly."

Before he could retort, Carly was behind the bar with him. "It's almost midnight, Henry. Take some champagne to your table and ring in the New Year with Vienna."

The decidedly frosty tone left no room for debate. "Thanks. Happy New Year, Carly," he added before nodding at Em and leaving.

Carly poured another flute of champagne and slid it in front of her former friend. "Now, what were you saying?"

"Don't bother giving me one of those icy Tenney stares," Emily asserted, raising her eyebrow. "I knew you when you were a waitress at the Yacht Club. And not a very good one."

"And I knew you when you dated men your own age."

Smiling tightly, she glanced over her right shoulder, and mouthed _one minute_ to an attractive sandy-haired man standing just feet from the doorway. "I was just saying "hello" to Henry. He's completely lost his sense of humor since he went legit." Pushing a twenty back across the bar, Em slid off the barstool. "Keep the change. Happy New Year. And say _happy birthday_ to Parker for me," she added offhandedly.

"Keep it. It's on me," Carly replied, not touching the money.

"That's why you're never going to make it as a business woman," Emily sniffed dismissively, taking the bill and stuffing it into the tip jar.

"I'm doin' just fine, thanks. Why are you here, Em? This isn't the only bash in town. And the Lakeview is more your type of crowd."

Emily pointed over her shoulder. "My friend happens to like the band you booked tonight, so we thought we'd stop by. No sinister intentions. Unlike the hyenas in the corner over there." Her gaze shifting to the corner table where Katie and Vienna sat. "I hope you take their money."

"Oh, I overcharge Katie every chance I get. Vienna I put up with for Henry's sake," Carly replied acidly.

"They've been watching you all night. Between Rebecca of Bunnybrooke Farm and Natasha, you'd better watch your back."

"I've learned to take care of myself," Carly shot back. "Especially around people who smile to my face."

Amused, Emily leaned in closer. "So, what did Jack do?"

"Did I miss us becoming friends again?" Carly asked stone-faced. "And even if we were, what makes you think my mood is about Jack?

"Because it always is," Emily scoffed.

Coldly, Carly took a second flute of champagne as one of the waitresses went by. "Here's to moving on," she said, tilting her glass.

"As if you've ever done that." Emily clinked her glass into Carly's and downed it. "But whatever makes you happy. Be careful where you spit...it might land on your shoes." Slinking through the crowd, Emily kissed her date and they strolled out the door.

Carly continued working the bar, filling glass after glass with champagne as midnight approached. At one minute to midnight, the band started playing "Auld Lang Syne" and slowly everyone paired off in two's as the lights went down. Then with ten seconds to go, everyone joined in the countdown. "Ten...nine....eight..."

_"three...two...one! Happy New Year! Noisemakers went off all around them, as 1999 became 2000. Jack leaned in and kissed her, taking her breath away._

_Winding an arm around his neck, she gazed up at him adoringly. "This is going to be the best year ever, Jack."_

_"For the rest of our lives," he promised, kissing her as the band played._

Overcome by the flash of happier times, she motioned to one of the bartenders to step in for her and rushed out the back. The biting cold was a welcome relief after the crushing warmth inside Metro. Closing her eyes, she took several huge gulps, drawing sharp needles of air deep into her lungs. It cleared her mind, the simple in and out, exchanging oxygen and carbon dioxide. As long as she remembered to breath, everything would be okay. Okay was a big order though. Maybe all she could hope for was keeping it together until the end of the night.

As the numbing cold permeated into her limbs, delicate snowflakes begin to fall. Lace-like, they swirled in the wind, until they knit into layers, blanketing every available surface. By daybreak, the city would be covered in a brief illusion of perfection for the new year. Tomorrow, everyone would _oooohhh_ and _aaahhhh_ and admire waking up in a snow globe. The next day, when they needed to get to work or the store, they'd mutter and curse about the inconviences of an Illinois winter.

"Carly...my God, what are you doing out here? You're going to turn into an icicle!" Henry exclaimed, as he poked his head out of the rear exit. "Just because you look like one, doesn't mean you should become one."

"I--I d-don't look like an i-i-icicle!" Carly objected as he pulled her inside and into the manager's office, draping his suit coat over her shoulders as he planted her in front of the radiator.

It was an unkind assessment. Her silver fringed flapper style dress reminded him more of the ever mysterious _curtain number three_, the one that always beguiled hapless contestants from the practical dinette set in hopes of winning a bigger, better prize.

Half the men had drooled outright as she worked, eyes glued to every undulation of her dress as she walked by. The other forty-nine percent had the wherewithal to wait until their dates or wives left for the potty. Not that it mattered. Carly had clearly been in her own little bubble tonight, oblivious to the wolf-like, lingering stares. The odd one percent consisted of him and Brad...who were way too in love and therefore immune to Carly's charms. Although Henry could admit his admiration for her couture, at least as it related to the ambiance of the night. And not that he'd ever bring it up to Vienna. _Ever._

"Well...maybe not like a stick of frozen water hanging off a roof...but the old-fashioned Christmas decorating type. But you're definitely _blue_, Carly. B-l-u-e."

"Maybe that's just the way I feel," Carly muttered under her breath.

"Huh?" Henry asked, rubbing her arms vigourously.

"Nothing." Her teeth started to chatter as the warmth of the room and Henry's massage seeped into her flesh. "That's enough!" she exclaimed when it started to make her feel like a smoothie on frappe. "I'm fine."

Henry ignored her. "You are not fine, Carly. Your goosepimples have goosepimples. _Fine_ people do not stand out in subzero weather for twenty minutes. Maybe you should go home and get your head together."

Carly protested, stepping away from his reach. "Your concern is touching...honestly it is. But it's not fair for you to close again tonight. Just go home. Take Vienna....just go home with her." Seeing he was not convinced, she lowered her head. "I _need_ to be here. Work until I'm ready to drop. I _can't_ go home yet," she whispered.

Having been run over trying to board the Love Train more than once, Henry understood the pain behind Carly's admission. "Okay," he agreed. "Just don't forget to drop off the night's receipts. We don't want to leave that much cash in our shoebox-slash-safe. Especially since we're closed tomorrow."

"Gotcha," Carly nodded. Shrugging off his jacket, she handed it back to him. "And thanks. It's been a long time since I felt like I had a friend. At least one I didn't have to continually apologize to."

"Well, shweetheart," Henry started, taking out his best lisp to sound like Bogart, "like they shay, you're a shwell doll." Carly's lips twitched up in a near smile and she threw her arms around him, startling him a bit. "So give me a warning if you decide to turn lesbian, okay? Forty eight hours at least. To get out of town before the competition amps up."

Carly started to shake again, but this time it was to let a deep, honest laugh roll out of her. Pulling back, she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I think you're safe on that front, Henry."

"You don't know how relieved I am," he teased, setting off another round of guffaws.

"You don't know how much I hate sharing the bathroom," she squeezed out between peals of laughter. "Just ask Ja--"

And like a light switch, the giggles stopped. Tongue-tied, Henry searched for something wise or profound to say.

Seeing his distress, Carly placed her hands firmly in the middle of his back and gave him a push. "I'll be fine. Go!" she ordered, following him back into the bar.

Henry acquiesced, wrapping an arm around Vienna when he got to their table. Vienna eyed him, then gave Carly the once over as she talked with a server. "What took so long, my darling?"

"Carly blurt out another sob story?" Katie inquired. "She's looked like hell all night."

There was something in Bubbles' tone that didn't sit right with him. Not that a lack of sympathy was surprising, given the history she shared with Carly. But the sidelong glance she gave Vienna suggested they both wanted details to cackle over later, at their leisure.

"Not to me, she didn't," Henry replied. "We went over some business, and now I can take you home and usher in 2009."

"OOOhhh...that sounds delightful," she giggled. "The usher and the lonely sexy girl in the back row, yes?"

"Well, if you insist." Vienna promptly attacked his neck, getting an immediate rise out of him. "B-B-Brad, K-K-katie...it's been fun. We'll do this again next year." Vienna nipped his earlobe, sending a lustful tingle down his spine. "We've got to go," he said grabbing her hand and dragging her out the door.

"Yeah...bye guys," Brad responded, shaking his head at the doors, still swinging at the rapid exit. Turning his attention to his wife, he tossed his hair and gave her a wink. "Say, babe...you are _the. hottest. chick._ here tonight. How about we blow this pop stand, get ourselves a room at the Lakeview and party like it's 1999?"

"I'm married," Katie waggled her finger, playing along.

"So am I...but who could pass up a one-in-a-million chance with a woman like you? What happens at the Lakeview, stays at the Lakeview."

Katie threw up a mock protest as he engulfed her in his arms and dragged her into a dark corner to fondle her. "You are such a horn dog," she sighed, arching against him.

"We're still newlyweds," he mumbled against her skin.

"We better go," Katie said, straightening her dress as he pulled away. "Do you really want to go to the Lakeview?"

"Well, I'm not in favor of hot monkey sex just feet from my daughter and her mother." Brad smoothed his hair and wiped the lipstick from his mouth. "So I rented us a room for the night."

"Who needs a room? There's always the elevator." Katie grinned, recalling their near-encounter.

"Awww...don't do things like that to me," Brad fussed. "Now I gotta worry about embarrassing myself at the desk."

Katie slapped his chest, just hard enough to divert his attention. "Go bring the car around, and I'll check us in."

"Deal!" Brad slid on his leather jacket and held Katie's open for her. "Aren't you coming?" he asked when she took it and folded it over her arm instead.

"I just have to use the little girls' room first."

"But we're like five minutes from the Lakeview."

"Honey...by the time you bring the car around, I'll be done. And it'll speed everything up once we get to our room," she assured him with a teeth-baring smile.

"Okay...whatever," he replied, heading out the door.

Once he was out of sight, Katie rushed to the bar, standing at one end to get the bartender's attention. "I need to talk to Carly. Where is she?"

As she finished talking to the band about rebooking later in the month, Carly glanced up, feeling a prickly heat focused on her. To her dismay, she saw Katie badgering the bartender, then focusing on her as he pointed at the stage where she was. Resigned, Carly took a deep breath and went to face the little twit. _Might as well get this over_, she muttered to herself, pasting a fake smile on her face.

Katie eyes lit up. "Carly---I need a favor," she said, oozing honey with every syllable. "Brad and I...we've got a special celebration coming up...and I'd love to get a bottle of really good champagne from you."

"Sorry...I can't. I could lose my license."

"Aww...c'mon. My sister's the Chief of Detectives. It's not like a sting operation or anything, Carly. I just want a really nice bottle of champagne."

"Don't you think you and Brad have done enough celebrating for tonight?" Carly asked impatiently.

Katie lowered her voice, bending in closer to Carly to be heard. "It's not for tonight. We've got our own plans. But it is a family celebration---sort of. Well, more than sort of, considering it's Brad's brother," she rambled. "It's just kind of hard labeling it, since it's Brad's ex..."

Katie's hand flew to her mouth, as if she suddenly realized she'd said too much. The rabid gleam in her eye said it wasn't an accident. And that she'd have given anything to see the invisible knife sticking in Carly's gut right about now.

Carly's back stiffened with pride, not giving Katie the satisfaction of what she knew. Or what she thought she knew. Emily's words hung in the back of her mind, confirming the vibe she now felt. _Of course_...Janet had probably broadcast her conquest all over town by now. And Katie being Katie, she'd raced right over here to immerse herself in Carly's misery.

"Sorry---still can't. But the Liquor Barn on Eighth has some really bitchin' pink champagne."

"Pink? That's not exactly classy," Katie replied, crinkling her nose and adding it to her bleached-white smile.

"Trust me. It'll suit you and the occassion just fine." Carly's perfunctory smile faded as she raised an eyebrow. "Good night," she added, hardening her face into an expressionless mask.

"Well....I tried." Katie shrugged her shoulders. "If you can't, you can't. Nice to see you've found a law you couldn't break," she added with a huff as she headed outside.

The next two hours had to be the longest of Carly's life. The band packed up at one o'clock, starting a gradual thinning as celebrants headed home. By last call, there were only a handful left, and the staff busied themselves with cleanup, anxious to see the night end. At three, she was locking up, heading to her car, and grateful to have survived this hellish night in one piece.

Unlocking her car, she started it, punching the defrost button before stepping back into the cold to brush off her car. A light flurry continued to fall, dotting her coat with flakes as she worked.

"We have to stop meeting like this. Let me do that for you."

Twenty four hours ago, those words would have melted her heart. Jack's warm undertone would have had her toes tingling as she gladly promised a reward for finishing her hated task. But tonight, it took all her willpower to remain calm and not use the brush to "dust" his head off his shoulders. "Late night?" she asked, not bothering to look up from her task.

"Yeah...." he answered, his words fading as he cocked his head, puzzled at her non-reaction. "Pile up on the interchange south of 39. I got stuck with it, of course. Right before the end of my shift."

"What a shame," Carly replied, every unsympathetic word eroding her self-control. She could feel Jack gauging her every movement, fueling her indignation. "Did you want something?" she asked acidly, abandoning the rest of the car and throwing her brush into the backseat.

"Bad night?" he asked.

"You could say that," Carly sniped, raising her voice. "Tell me Jack...did that accident manage to wipe that smirk off your face?"

"What?"

"That smirk. Did a bunch of crushed metal wipe that smirk off your face? Could anything have possibly wiped that satisfied look off your smug little face after this afternoon?"

Eyes widening in shock, Jack saw her lips curl in pure rage. "I don't know what the hell you mean by that. I just came here to ...." He stopped, stepping close enough to touch her. "It's New Year's Eve...well, not here anymore...but maybe in Hawaii---."

"Well, that's a long way from here---"

"And the company here is a lot better."

Something inside her snapped. "I wish I could say the same." She pushed him away and twisted around to open her door.

Jack grabbed her arm, whirling her back to face him. "You wanna explain what the hell you're so pissed about? I came here---"

"_Here, here, here._...am I supposed to be thankful for your presence? Has it ever _once_ occured to you I don't want to be _here_ with you? _Here_ is feeling like an idiot watching you propose to another woman. _Here _ is never knowing where I stand with you. _Here _ is arguing with you at 3 am in the middle of a freaking _blizzard_, when most people are at home...." Carly stopped herself before she finished the thought..._making love._ Shakily, she finished, "_Here _is not where I want to be, Jack. And _here_ is wishing we'd never met." Seeing the shock in his face gave her a small amount of satisfaction. It didn't ease her pain, but it felt good to inflict some, knowing she had the right.

"Carly---" The hard glitter in her eyes told him she was deadly serious. "Would you---"

Fed up, Carly shut her eyes and let out a scream. "Go home, Jack...go home, and stay the hell out of my sight." Violently, she yanked herself free of his grasp, darted into the car, and peeled into the street, feeling another twinge of relief as Jack's image receded in her rearview mirror.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Whoever said _it takes a lot of energy to stay mad_ certainly knew what they were talking about. Driving through the deserted city streets, Carly felt completely drained, to the point it made concentrating as the snow flew at her windshield difficult. And true to form, she was four blocks past the bank before she remembered she still had the night's receipts in the seat beside her.

It was such a silly mistake, but one that nearly reduced her to tears.

Making a u-turn at the stop sign on Maple and Belmont, she grumbled retracing her route. Pulling into the bank drive thru, she cursed again when she couldn't reach the overnight deposit slot, and had to get out of her car to slide it through. Back in her personal cocoon, she re-buckled her seat belt and thanked God she could finally just go home and put this miserable night behind her.

She wasn't even listening to the radio until the familiar twangy chorus caught her ear..._heel, toe, dosey doe, come on baby let's go boot scootin'... Cadillac, black jack, baby meet me out back we're gonna boogie... get down, turn around, go to town...boot scootin' boogie..._

It all came rushing back. The smell of sawdust on the floor, the sound of cowboy boots scraping against the dance floor, the crushing warmth of a hot Montana night in Scampy's bar that no air conditioner could abate. The first time she had let her guard down around Jack. And gotten a taste of what that chemical reaction as they danced.

Overwhelmed, the tears flowed out of her. She laid her arms on the steering wheel and sobbed. For what had been, could have been, and wasn't ever going to be again.

"Ma'am?"

The accompanying _tap tap tap_ on her driver's side window startled her out of her misery, and Carly quickly brushed the tears off her cheeks before sitting back and turning her face to the window. Recognizing the OPD police jacket immediately, she cautiously locked her door before tipping the electronic control button and lowering her window.

"Ma'am...I'm with the Oakdale Police Department...do you require...Carly?" Dallas Griffin pushed back the brim of his baseball hat so she could see who was talking to her. "Hey, Carly. Is everything alright?" Out of habit, he scoped the back seat, and looked for signs of distress or inebriation. Finding none, he waited for her answer.

"Yeah...of course," she replied automatically. "I just deposited the night's receipts."

"Big night, huh? And I'm celebrating the New Year by treating everyone to some cheese danish." A wry smile accompanied his rather forlorn assessment of his fresh start for the New Year. "Mort's makes the best in town. I was coming out when I saw you sitting here."

"Metro was packed. The band was a big hit." Then she raised half a smile and told half a fib. "Ever since left the Metro parking lot, I feel like I forgot something. I was just debating going back and making sure I locked the side door. It sticks. Especially in the cold."

It was a reasonable excuse. Though the look on her face said there was more going on. "So what did you decide?"

"To leave Henry a message so he can double check in the morning. The diner opens in a couple of hours."

"I could swing by---double check on my way to the station," Dallas offered.

"It's really not necessary," Carly assured him.

"Take care then," he said before jogging back to his car.

Carly heaved a sigh of relief. Though motivated by nothing other than kindness, the stark sympathy on the man's face had made her feel pathetic. What kind of wreck sat in their car crying at 4 am? It was time to pull herself together. She fished through her purse, pulling out a tissue and lip balm. Blowing her nose and swiping some relief on her dry lips, she glanced in the mirror and grimaced at her red-rimmed eyes. There was no quick fix for them. Home and sleep were the only cures. Shifting her car back into drive, she turned back onto Belmont, heading straight for Milltown.

Every house in the neighborhood was dark as she turned on to Elm Street, just as hers was when she pulled into the garage. Through the back door, she finally reached the warmth of her own kitchen, tossed her coat over a chair and slipped off her heels before pouring herself a some wine. Draining half of it in a gulp, she refilled her glass and decided to head upstairs.

"You're home."

Startled, it slipped from her fingers, scattering shards of glass over the wood floor along with the liquid it had held. "_What the hell_ are you doing here, Jack?"

Emerging from the dark from his seat at the table, he approached, ignoring the mess under his feet to stand beside her. Wordlessly, he picked her up, carrying her back into the kitchen before opening the broom closet.

The feel of his arms around her set off an emotional roller coaster, indignation fueling her already raw nerves. "I _repeat_....what the hell are you doing in _my_ house, Jack?"

He brushed aside her question, soaking up the wine with a pile of paper towels before sweeping up the glass and depositing it all in the trash. "You told me to come home," he answered coolly. "Here I am."

"This hasn't been your home in three years!" she snapped. "You can't just barge in here, call this _home_ and act like time has stood still. It doesn't work that way. So get the hell out. Unless you want me to call the station and take this to the next level." Certain her threat had made it's point, she stood her ground, locking eyes with him.

"I'm not leaving until I say what I came here to say."

"I'm not _interested_ in what you have to say, Jack----"

"Yeah..._I got that_," he snidely replied.

"Don't pull this crap with _me_, Jack Snyder." Anger exploded inside her for the third time that night. "Don't you _dare_ come into _my _house and presume to lecture _me_! You go home..._to the farm_," she corrected disdainfully, "and go bang your little Italian bennie-lovin' friend."

"Janet? This is about Janet?"

"Well...isn't tonight full of surprises for everyone?" The taunt hit home as she watch his jaw harden. "I'm amazed Janet could contain her glee. Then again, maybe she was saving that little tidbit for a special occasion. I'm sure it would have been good for a laugh or two in the dark."

"Why----"

"Why _what_, Jack? Why was I at the farm? To look for Sage's latest missing cd. Why did I go in your room? Because I heard something, and I assumed Emma was in there. Why am I surprised Janet was in your bed? I don't know. Maybe the fact you dumped her. Maybe the family Christmas. Maybe just the fact that I had allowed myself to hope again."

Jack swallowed a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry you saw that."

"You should be!"

"I am!" he bellowed. "I am sorry for a lot of things, Carly."

"I'm sure that'll change by daybreak. It's amazing how fast things change."

"Some things never do."

"Some things _should_. Like this. I'm tired of fighting, Jack."

"Then let's stop."

"I thought we had. I thought we could this time."

"We can."

"If you believed that, why did you sleep with her? Today of all days? New Years' Eve has always been..." the hurt welled up inside of her. Feeling she needed to explain it only made it worse. "It's Parker's birthday, Jack. Do you remember? Do you remember being in this room, and holding my hand as I gave birth to him? I was _so_ scared...and somehow you held me together. And I knew...I _thought_ we would always, always have this bond."

"Of course I remember. You nearly broke my hand," he laughed. "Being there...it always made me _feel_ like he was my son. There were times I was envious of Hal." The perceived betrayal of his friendship brought a deep frown to Jack's face. "I wondered how different we would be if it had been me. If I had taken the leap. If we'd just gotten pregnant in the very beginning. Bypassed the drama and been a family from the get go."

"I know...I think even Hal knew. He was wise that way. He had us figured out a long time before we did." They shared a quiet moment, reflecting on Hal. The man, the mentor, the maker of fabulous chocolate chip pancakes.

"I want my life back, Carly. I want my family back. Forgive me, and let's start the next chapter of our life."

The depth of their connection was hard to fight, when every word seemed to be coming from his soul. But the image of lingerie-clad Janet became a fire wall for Carly. "Forgive you? It's not that simple, Jack. Three years ago, I begged you to forgive me. And you couldn't...wouldn't. I've schemed, you've lectured...I'm not sure there's any love left. There's the fight. There's chemistry. I will always want to feel your arms around me. But after April...after this...I don't think you love me anymore. I don't think I know _you_ anymore. I can't love someone I don't know."

"You know me...I'm the one who loves you, Carly."

"Then _why_? Why did you sleep with her? Did you think after Simon and Holden, I'd just look the other way? I was humiliated when Simon slept with Katie. But he said I didn't love him enough; that it was a "goodbye" with her. And I took him back. Holden...I knew he was going home to Lily...sleeping with her. I understood that loneliness, trying to make his marriage work by himself. I convinced myself we could take one night..make it a harmless escape, and let us get back to normal, whatever that means. It doesn't work that way, Jack. Sleeping with her...that means you've got feelings. I'm not going through that again. Not for anyone."

"Í wish I could say I don't deserve it. To be compared to them. April---that was unforgivable. I was selfish, reaching out to you, then acting like it meant less than it did to me. You've always known the truth, Carly. I've never been over you. Never been able to let you go."

"It doesn't feel that way, Jack. You've walked away. Married other women---"

Jack's eyes blazed into her own. "Been jealous of _any_ man that looks at you. Invented ways to stay involved in your life. Ran back when I needed you, when you needed me. Everything else fades into the background when I'm with you."

"We can't go back, Jack. How many times have you said that to me? You were right---"

"No, I wasn't! The only way to get back is to move forward. Trust me. Believe in me. Forgive me, even though I don't deserve it."

Carly was suddenly engulfed in him, as Jack wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. If she had stuffing, it might have been squeezed out of her, as he tightened his grip and laid his cheek next to hers. She could feel his heart race, sputtering in fits, and she understood...it was breaking. Hesitantly, she slid her arm around his neck, threading her fingers through his hair. There was an odd kind of comfort, feeling like they were on the same page again, sharing this intense heartbreak only they understood.

"I'm not giving up," Jack whispered stubbornly. "It's always been a mistake---I'm not making it again."

Carly pulled back, resting her forehead against his as she cupped his face in her hands. "Jack---" The words wouldn't come out of her mouth. She knew what she needed to say---it wasn't something he could fix with sheer will power. The smart thing to do was to accept it and move on. Find the best way to raise their kids together.

"Don't say it. Don't tell me to walk away." Slowly, he took one hand from his face, and pressed his lips against the delicate skin of her inner wrist. Her pulse leapt as he continued down her arm to her shoulder, then grazed the sweet spot at the base of her neck with his teeth, making her shiver. Jack's hand pressed into the small of her back, coaxing her closer as he slid his mouth gently over hers.

A flood of memories washed over Carly. Every time she had felt truly loved---Jack was at the center of it. So there was no hesitation when his tongue brushed against her lips, she parted them willingly, letting his tongue sweep alongside hers.

Panting, Jack pulled away, and silently stared into her eyes, giving her one last chance to stop. Flushed, Carly eased up on her toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and slid her mouth over his.

Anticipation surged through him as he ran his hands down her body, pinning her between the counter and his own arousal, letting her feel the effect she had on him as he churned his hips against hers. A thrilling shiver ran down her spine. Her nails dug into the hard flesh of his shoulders, and arching against him, she teased a low groan of desire from him in return.

Sliding the thin straps down, the bodice of Carly's dress pooled at her waist. Jack quickly unhooked the pale pink bra, exposing her silky flesh. She moaned as he brushed the sensitive tips with his thumbs, creating a keen sense of longing throughout her body. Carly stripped the shirt from his shoulders, running her hands down the firm, muscled flesh of his back before grasping his belt buckle and working it open. A sharp inhalation of breath whistled past her ear as she plucked the buttons of his fly free, and flattened her palm against his thinly covered erection. It surged hotly against her hand as Jack kicked away his jeans. His own hands slid under her thighs, lifting her up allowing her legs to wrap around his waist.

Carrying her to the couch, Jack braced one knee on it as he angled her body underneath him. Carly tried to pull him down, enticing him on top of her. Jack tugged at her dress, unable to slide it down and off her body.

"Did you forget how to work it, G-man?" A throaty chuckle followed as she guided his hand to the zipper, then brazenly freed him of his boxers and stroked his already throbbing erection.

The zipper wouldn't move, caught in some devious plot to drive him mad. Frustrated, he yanked until the fabric ripped, relenting the last barrier between them. Settling between her naked thighs, it was his turn to tease and torment, sliding his thumb over the slick, sensitive bud at her apex.

Beads of sweat broke out at her hairline, and she shut her eyes against the growing frenzy swirling inside of her. Carly bit her lip as Jack manipulated, creating valleys and peaks that left her panting.

"Is that how it works?" he rasped into her ear. Her body trembled, responding wordlessly for her. He kissed her brow, urging her eyes to open as he shifted his weight and thrust inside her, sinking the full weight of his body against hers.

There was a moment of bliss, savoring a heady sense of completeness once given up for lost. Then a primal fever erupted, clouding out anything but the rhythm of their bodies as they furiously made love.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Fire and Sunshine.

Jack Snyder knew how most people saw him. Cop, father, friend. They would describe him as honest, moral, a good judge of character and a by-the-book detective. Friends and family might add comments on his sense of humor (or lack thereof if Brad threw in his two cents), his ability to listen or how he always offered a helping hand. In short, the quintessential Good Guy.

And he knew how most people saw Carly. Mother, Designer, Part time Business Owner. Descriptions of her would vary wildly. Ex-lovers would cite her beauty. Ex-friends her devious, complicated nature. Her sisters would vouch for her loyalty, her children for her generous and deep love. A concensus would label her The Bad Girl.

And since they were both complicated people, all those descriptors were right, if incomplete.

To Jack, it was simple. She was Fire and Sunshine. Forces of nature that were dangerous and unpredictable. She glowed as she consumed life, radiating a warmth that everyone wanted to be around. Fire kept the dark at bay, cheered you up, and lit your way home. Sunshine gave life, encouraged growth. And Carly had given him that sense of belonging, of family. The roots he had longed for since the death of his father.

With her body draped around him, her golden tresses spread out over his chest as she slept, Jack watched the room slowly fill with morning light. A bright first day of the new year, as sunlight reflected off the new fallen snow. And a sense of joy inside him that had been missing for a long time.

Jack brushed a wild strand off of Carly's face, smoothing it behind her ear. It had been a long time since they had been curled up together like this. Feeling the radiant heat of her body warm him. Running his fingers through the silky tangle of hair as she slept. At times like this, it was almost hard to remember how much time had passed. They were raising teenagers. _Teenagers_. Two marriages, two divorces. Other relationships. But through it all...here they were. In this house, where so many of their beginnings started.

This was not how he'd thought their year would begin. He certainly didn't expect it last night, when he'd stormed over here after the fight at Metro. It wasn't even a fight...it had been an ambush. And when she'd taken off, all he could do was stand in the street, bloodied and bruised. Shock soon jelled into action, and he soon found himself in their living room, waiting for her to arrive.

Sitting in the dark, he'd come to the realization they'd been in limbo too long. Caution worked for other people, it didn't work for them.

As if sensing his shifting thoughts, Carly stirred beside him, a deep crease marring her forehead. Jack lightly ran his thumb over it, pressing a gentle kiss to her crown. The tension ebbed away and she drifted back to sleep. In contrast, Jack continued to stare at the ceiling. He knew what was eating away at him. The way he'd pushed her last night. It hadn't been fair. Selfishly, he'd wanted to know where he stood. Now he knew.

But there were still issues. Explanations owed. And he could only hope she'd understand.

Restless, Jack eased out from under her, pulled on his shorts, and headed into the kitchen to make coffee. He had just measured out the grounds when his cell phone started to ring. Absent-mindedly he slapped his thigh, forgetting he had no pocket to have his phone in or pull it from. By the time he'd located his jeans and fished his phone out, it had gone to voicemail.

******

_"Carly, last night was a mistake."_

_"How can you say that? Last night was amazing. We were amazing, Jack. You can't deny that."  
_

_"You're right. But I've said it before, sex was never our problem."_

_"What is it? What's going on?"_

_"I woke up this morning and I realized that nothing's changed. The issues we have--they just didn't disappear overnight."_

_"Well, no, they may not have disappeared, but they certainly don't loom quite so large, do they?"_

_"I knew you'd think that everything was resolved if we slept together."_

_"No. I think that it's a sign, though, that we can work things out."_

Carly woke with a start. Her heart hammered in her chest, making it hard to get her bearings. Slowly the adrenaline kick faded, and she recognized her living room. The snow on the windowsill confirmed it wasn't spring, but winter. It wasn't the morning after Brad and Katie's engagement party...it was New Year's Day.

Sitting up, her feet brushed the discarded dress lying in a heap on the floor. A flush crept up her neck, recalling the rush she'd felt as she heard it rip, knowing it was the last barrier to feeling his skin on hers. Images of them making love came back, bringing a flood of emotions with them. She should be happy. But waking to the memory of last April left her with a knot in her stomach. It was a bad omen. And she believed in bad omens. It was instinct telling her to prepare for the worst.

She could hear Jack in the kitchen, talking low. So at least he hadn't run out after. Hating the doubt creeping into her mind, Carly forced her attention to her dress. The only real damage had been to the zipper, which had gotten caught in some of the fringe. Easily repaired. Standing up, she let the throw slide down her body and stepped back into the dress. Mechanically, she refolded the throw and put it back in the chest, straightened the couch, plumped the pillows. Set everything back as if last night had never happened.

_"I guess I kind of dozed off--"_

_Carly cut her off. "I don't_ need_ an explanation."_

_"I suppose not," Janet agreed, shimmying into her jeans. "We're all adults here, right?"_

_"I guess," Carly lamely replied. A growing numbness kept her rooted to the spot while Janet buttoned her hip-huggers and then lazily smoothed the blankets and plumped the pillows, removing the indentation where her head must have been._

The irony wasn't lost on Carly. At least she didn't have an audience...not that Janet had minded. Apparently, Jack's women were very conscientious pillow-plumpers after sex. It was so morbid, Carly didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But it was better than wondering who Jack was talking to in the kitchen. She figured the odds were fifty-fifty...the station or Janet. Pillow-plumping Janet.

_"Janet? This is about Janet?"_

Sighing, Carly padded over to the front door, resting her cheek against the cool, frosted glass. She was tired. Over tired, even. It was the only way to explain her mind jumping perversely from one Janet-thought to another. Once Jack was gone, she'd take a shower and sleep the rest of the day away. It was Jack's day with the kids. By three o'clock, they'd be back at the farm, and Sage would be stuck watching college bowl games until bedtime.

Maybe Janet would plump her pillow before tucking Sage into bed.

The thought made her sick. _That woman_ touching her little girl. Playing mommy. Tomorrow, when she was able to think, she'd figure out a way to keep Janet away from her kids.

"Hey..." Jack's voice trailed off as he entered the living room, spying Carly standing at the door. Even from that distance he could see her knuckles, white with tension, as she clutched the door knob.

"You gotta go."

Her voice flat and emotionless, it could have been either a statement or a demand, adding to the sense of desolation surrounding her. That broke his heart. "No...it was just the station. I'm sorry it woke you up. Suddenly, they can't wipe their noses if Margo or I'm not there. I think we need to talk---"

"Jack---" Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. "I don't want to fight. I'm a big girl. I knew what I was doing. No messy little meltdowns for you to clean up."

"What do you think---"

"_Please_, can we keep this civil---"

"For _once_, could you let me finish a sentence?" Jack exploded. "Just one?"

"Are you kidding me?" Carly snapped, whirling around to face him. "I thought you were becoming very adept at multi-tasking. Especially women."

"I see we're back to Janet. I need to explain."

"If there is something I _truly_ don't want to hear right now, it's some excuse about Janet," Carly replied icily.

"I shouldn't have pushed you---"

"Not now, Jack---"

"I _didn't_ sleep with her!"

It was so ludicrous, Carly was momentarily speechless. "You still suck at lying. I caught her in your bed," she replied stonily, regaining her voice.

"Do you really think I'd lie about that?"

Coolly, she assessed him from head to toe. "I don't think you want me to answer." She twisted around, back to looking through the frosted door glass. It was beautiful...looking out on the pristine snow scene. Like being trapped inside the snow globe looking out.

Jack crossed the room to stand behind her. "Yeah. I want you to answer. You can't look me in the eye and say it. Any more than you could tell me to go last night."

"Another mistake," Carly snorted. "Using sex to solve our problems."

"That's not what we did, Carly." Jack reached out to touch her, only to have her shrug away and avoid it as she moved toward the stairs.

"You can let yourself out."

"Stop!" Jack grabbed her arm before she could escape upstairs. "Give me five minutes." Cold blue eyes bored into him. "Then if you still want me to go, I'll go."

Pulling away, she crossed her arms, pressing her lips into a thin line. "Suppose I believe you. Why let me think you'd slept with her?"

"Who _let_ you believe anything? By the time I knew what the hell we were arguing about, you'd been stewing about it for hours."

"That might explain outside Metro. But back here? Plenty of time to tell me, Jack."

"Because...I broke your heart."

Carly shook her head, trying to make sense of his reasoning. "I've broken yours. Repeatedly."

"And every time, I've jammed my indignation down your throat. Made sure you knew exactly how much you failed me. And when I wronged you...what happened? I told you to grow up and deal with it. I made it "our mistake", when we both know it wasn't. How can I blame you for thinking the worst of me? We needed to talk---fight---get it out in the open. Otherwise we just end up hurting each other more."

"Maybe it's time to admit it's over."

"Or maybe it's time to take a chance. The night of Sage's recitial. We were talking. And when Janet showed up, we both shut down."

"I get a little grumpy when your ex-fiancee shows up at a family outing. Call me bitchy."

"That's my point. You were mad, and you never said another word to me about it."

"You sent me away so you could _talk_ to her---"

"You never asked where I went after I didn't marry Janet."

"I knew where you were, Jack. Montana."

"You never asked why I called off the wedding."

"Interrogation is your style, not mine."

"The Carly I know, would have given me three days tops to get my head together before she hauled me back home to our kids. Hell---she never would have let me marry Janet in the first place. Not without trying to club me or Janet in the head first."

"I _let_ you marry Katie," she reminded him bitterly.

"Not before trying your damnedest."

"Well, you got me there. I guess I should have just let you think I slept with Brad or something. It would have caused a lot less grief. I still don't understand..."

"I want you to believe in me! Trust _me_! Not my alibi. Like you used to. I know when you're scared, Carly. This---this isn't you."

"Do you think I like feeling this way? Waking up wondering if you're still here? Who you're on the phone with? Whether or not your latest _friend_ is going to be tucking my kids in bed tonight?"

"No, I don't suppose you do." Jack wanted to reach out and comfort her. Yesterday he could have. Today he couldn't take the pain away.

"Maybe you should go now," Carly whispered, lowering her eyes to the floor to avoid the look of hurt and confusion on Jack's face. She knew that look well. She'd seen it in the mirror often enough.

"Maybe I should," Jack shrugged, torn. He didn't want to push her any farther. "Give you some space," he added, stepping back subconsciously.

"Okay then." An oppressive silence filled the space between them. Carly tried to think of something to say. Years of love, loyalty and pain deserved some kind of eulogy. But no words came. Overwhelmed, tears pricking at her eyelids, she gave up and fled upstairs to her room.

Slamming her door shut, Carly threw herself onto her bed and buried her head into her pillow.

*******

Jack cringed as the cracking of wood on wood echoed through the downstairs. Mentally kicking himself, he realized how badly he'd hurt Carly. There were times he forgot how tender she was beneath the tough facade she wore for the world to see. _If only_'s and _what if_'s ran through his mind. All the leaps of faith he could have taken. Every time he'd listened to his pride and not his heart.

Even last night. He should have thrown her in his car, marched her into the OPD and accounted for every minute of his shift. Hauled Janet into interrogation and broken her little scheme into a million pieces. Whatever it took for her to believe him. But his pride wanted her to believe in Jack Snyder---Man of His Word. His _I'm sorry_ should have been enough.

_He_ was an idiot.

*********

Puffy-eyed, Carly rolled over in bed, intending to splash some cold water on her face. But questions continued to race through her mind. Would Jack blatantly lie to her face? Would she really not be able to tell? Could he have really changed that much? Twenty four hours ago, she wouldn't have thought twice about her answer. It would have been a resounding _no._

He was right. They had been walking on eggshells around each other. Afraid of getting too close. Afraid of upsetting the newfound balance between them. _Doing_ little things like hanging up special ornaments and creating family time to show what they couldn't say.

Last night he had wanted forgiveness. Maybe that was all that mattered.

***********

He remembered them while looking for his errant sock.

Resting in the crook of the dining room chair. Forgotten in the midst of battle. He didn't know what to do with them now. All they signified was failure.

***********

Carly splashed some water on her face, then slide her chemise over her head before pulling back the covers on her bed.

Still, one question remained unanswered.

********

Deciding he couldn't just leave them for Carly to find, he grabbed them, putting them on the desk as he shrugged his coat, preparing to leave. One hand was on the doorknob when he heard the stairs creak under her slight weight. "I'm leaving, Carly. I didn't mean to take so long." He tried not to look at her. He wasn't sure he could stand the disillusionment in her eyes. But his eyes flickered over her anyway, trying to reassure himself she was okay. Her pale skin accentuated her delicately drawn features and shadows under her eyes. She looked more like a fragile china doll than some fierce temptress. And he wanted to reach out and protect her more than ever.

"But I want you to know, I meant everything I said last night. I love you. And I know you love me, even if you're afraid to say it."

"You never love me enough to stay, Jack. Not surprising I'm tired of being burned." The comment drew a bleak silence from him, as the vein on his neck popped. "I'm not sure I have any more trust to give."

"I'll take it one step at a time, then."

"That's an admirable game plan," Carly replied, sauntering down the steps to the landing. "Let's try step one. Why did you come to Metro last night?"

"Do you really think this is the time to get into this?"

"Are you trying to avoid the question?" she asked pointedly.

Jack shook his head. "I thought we were going to neutral corners." Carly's head tilted, signaling a growing impatience. Exhaling audibly, he trudged on, hoping to keep his embarrassment to a minimum. Somehow failed romantic plans always sounded pitiful. "It was New Year's Eve...Parker's birthday. I thought I'd show up just before midnight, give you these," taking out a bouquet of slightly wilted roses from behind his back and flopping them on the entryway desk, "and kiss the hell out of you at midnight. But then that accident----"

"What are those?" Carly asked, inching closer.

"Roses," he answered tartly. "Sixteen of them. Parker may be too cool to have a party. Or spend it with his family. But it's still your baby's birthday," he explained, shrugging his shoulders. "I thought you deserved to remember how special that night was. And yeah, I hoped we'd find a little romance, being New Year's Eve. I----"

When she flung herself into his arms, Jack had never been more surprised. The satiny material absorbed the warmth of her body as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close.

It was hard to explain _how_ she knew it was the truth. How the tough as nails, FBI trained, cool under pressure man she loved became an open book when he spoke from his heart. She'd heard it the night of Sage's recital. And she'd felt it last night when he'd refused to go. It was why she'd made love with him. She'd seen the man she'd lost her heart to in Montana. On one unbearably hot night, he'd made her shiver and changed her life forever.

"I guess this means step one is a success," Jack whispered warmly.

"I think so," Carly replied. "I---this morning---"

"It's okay, Carly. Sometimes it takes a while for our heads to catch up to our hearts."

Relieved, Carly rested her head on Jack's shoulder. "I woke up, and you weren't there. I could hear you in the kitchen. Smell the coffee. And it reminded me of the morning after the engagement party. I freaked out."

Smiling, Jack gently stepped away from her, hooked his arm under her thighs, and scooped her up.

"What are you _doing_?" she asked. As he bounded up the narrow staircase, Carly felt like Scarlett O'Hara, minus the flowing red dressing gown, as Rhett charged back to their bedroom to ravish her.

The bedroom door swung open as Jack leaned into it with his shoulder. "Putting you to bed."

"Really?"

Grinning, Jack placed her on the mattress, then tucked the blankets around her. "_Putting. _Not _taking. _And they say men have one-track minds." Rounding the bed, he shed his shoes and jacket before sliding beside her, on top of the covers. "C'mon," he encouraged, propping a pillow against the headboard before he leaned against it and extended his arm.

Carly settled into the crook of his shoulder, snuggling closer to him. "Why?"

"It's a do over." He tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. "Everyone should wake up the way I did this morning. Happy."


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note...if you're new to the story, you can pretty much skip this. Anyone who started reading this months ago realizes it's been a while since I updated. Sorry 'bout that, server meltdowns and writer's block tend to do that to a person. ;) But this is brand spanking new.**

**Chapter Twenty**

"Carly."

Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of her name. Jack's face slowly took shape in front of her, burnished amber eyes staring into her own.

So many mornings Carly had wished for this moment. To wake up in Jack's arms, and see nothing but love in his eyes. Now that the elusive moment had come, she had trouble believing it wasn't another dream that would burst at the slightest touch. Hesitantly reaching out, her fingertips brushed over the warm skin of his cheek. Traced the familiar contours of his face--from stubbled jawline to the scar marring his forehead---each tiny sensation reinforced the reality.

Jack held his breath; the delicate exploration too heady to interrupt. In the quiet, time stopped. The only thing he was aware of was her.

Carly inched her body up along his side, inhaling his scent before tasting his flesh with her teeth and tongue. Satisfaction coursed through her at Jack's reaction---the way his pulse leapt and growl that rattled deep in his chest when he brought her full weight on top of him.

*****

"_Mangi, mangi..._eat up," Janet encouraged, squeezing another plate of food onto Katie's kitchen table.

Katie eyed the latest offering, half expecting to hear her table splinter under the added weight. When Janet cooked, she _cooked_. Enough to feed several armies, or at least the entire town of Oakdale for a day. "Wow...._Janet_...we're not going to put a dent in all this."

"Don't be ridiculous! I happen to know Bradley. Put him in front of a television, and he'd eat all day long. Plus, you never know who could just drop by. It's New Year's!"

"Well, I don't know about where you come from, but here in Oakdale, anyone who's not recovering is glued to the tv watching bowl games."

"It never hurts to be prepared," Janet insisted, submerging her last dirty dish into the sink. "Why don't you call your sister and see what she's doing? Holidays are about family."

"I think she said she had to work New Year's Day," Katie hrrmphed. "But I'm sure she'd love some leftovers. Casey will eat just about anything."

"Maybe you should take something to her at the station," Janet suggested, trying and failing to sound casual.

"What, so I can spy on Jack for you?"

Janet whirled around. "I didn't suggest anything like that! But....if Jack happens to be there, burying himself in work because Carly's gone ballistic...." Her voice trailed off as she shrugged her shoulders. "_Maybe_ he'd appreciate some time just relaxing on the couch with the guys..."

Katie rolled her eyes. "_First_ of all, the last place Jack would ever want to be when he's hurt is with his brother. Or Henry. Second, I thought you said your little _surprise_ wasn't about trying to get Jack back!"

"SSShhhhh!!!" Janet prompted, pulling her closer and lowering her voice. "Do you want Brad to hear you?"

Katie perched an arm on her hip just as Henry burst through the door, throwing his coat over the nearest chair before forcing Brad to sit up and make room for him.

"Tell me they didn't overturn that catch! I gotta lot of money riding on this game!"

"I thought Vienna only let you bet with Monopoly money?" Brad asked, offering him a iced bottle of beer from a cooler at his feet. Henry declined, giving Brad an excuse to finish his bottle and crack open the next.

"It's my Christmas present," Henry conceded, propping elbow to knee and resting his chin in his palm before starting to chew on his fingernails. "One bet, one game. Of course, I took the spread," he lamented.

A blast of cold air announced Vienna, who glared at Henry as she hung her jacket in the closet. Pursing her lips, she knocked Henry's coat to the floor before she joined Katie and Janet.

"Happy New Year," Katie offered, cautiously analyzing the odd tension between her best friends. Vienna crossed her arms, shot a scathing look in Henry's direction but said nothing. "Henry, what did you do?" she demanded.

Henry waved her off, never taking his eyes off the tv screen. "Shush!"

"YES!!" Vienna exclaimed. "All the morning. _Shoooshing_ me! _Shoosh_, I'm listening to the radio. _Shoosh_, I'm on the phone. _Shoosh_ Vienna, _shoosh, shoosh, shoosh_ all the way here, because he's listening to that silly child's game!"

"Vienna---we're trying to watch the game here," Henry said distractedly.

"See? Infuriating!"

"Oh, honey, they all are," Janet interjected, rolling her eyes. "You're going about this all wrong. Let him have his day. Then, tonight...when he wants a little _personal_ attention, grab him by the---."

Katie quickly interrupted the Angry Girlfriend's Guide to Aversion Therapy. She took Vienna's hand, fighting angry clenched muscles. "Henry's just focused. He's always that way when he's gambling."

"My way, he'll never make that mistake again!" Janet assured, punctuating her declaration with a wag her finger.

"Uh, hey Katie..." Liberty rolled her eyes and ignored her mother's dramatics. "I'm going out to the movies. If that's okay with you," she backtracked hastily, not wanting to start a parental inquisition. "I just need some cash."

"But LibbyLou...we were going to hang out in the den and watch chickflicks," Janet protested. "I even went and bought the dvd of _Moonstruck_. _Snap out of it!" _she giggled, mimicking Cher's delivery of the classic line.

Liberty rolled her eyes. "I'm in the mood to see something _new._ I've been cooped up in this house _forever_, holding your hand since you got _dumped_."

Katie raised her eyebrow, but when Janet just crossed her arms and said nothing, she let it pass too. "I suppose it's either me or the ATM," Katie replied. "Who's going with you?"

"Just Mackenzie, Zoe, Trish...._maybe_ a couple others."

"Are any of those _others_ going to be boys?" Katie asked.

"It's a group of kids from school. Even if some show up, it's a group thing, and we agreed that was _allowed_," Liberty responded, shrugging her shoulders and refusing to admit specific knowledge of any boy-inclusive plans.

"As long as they keep it in their pants," Janet said sharply.

Liberty turned beet red and huffed sarcastically. "Unlike _y-o-u_, I learn from my mistakes." Snatching the money in Katie's hand, she grabbed her coat and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her. It was loud enough for Brad to send a questioning glance in Katie's direction.

His wife waved him back to the game with a casual smile. Having been a teenage girl raised by a single mother, tense exchanges were not new. For the most part they were fleeting, easily forgotten and forgiven. At least in the long run.

Janet cleared her throat, folding a towel to cover her embarrassment.

"Maybe you should go talk to her?" Vienna suggested sympathetically, completely forgetting her argument with Henry.

"Nah---she's right about one thing. She's put in a lot of time with me lately," Janet admitted. "And so have you, Katie. Not a lot of women would let their husband's baby-momma to move in. _Twice_."

"Been there. Over the _same_ guy, actually. I guess that makes me the president of the _LIfe after Jack_ club."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Vienna protested, as she poured each a glass of wine. "That's not fair! To form a club that excludes me! In my presence," she added with a pout. One that had persuaded Counts, Princes, and Kings of obscure nations.

Katie burst out laughing, feeling the wine burn as it exited her nose. "Consider yourself lucky you haven't had the _Jack experience._ It kind of blows. Getting stomped on by Car-zilla and everything," she mused.

"That's my point!! _I_ have lost to Carly! Simon was the first man I _truly_ loved. I earned a spot in the club."

"Carly sure gets around, doesn't she?" Janet drained her glass, immediately refilling it to the brim. "Is she triple-jointed? As bendable as Gumby? Who gets married that many times?"

Scowling slightly at her own marriage track record, Katie let the questions slide. "It's wiser to concentrate on yourself. _You_ are a wonderful person, and any man who doesn't see that is a fool," she counselled. "Playing games, like you did last night is only going to backfire. Trying to make Carly look bad isn't going to change Jack's mind. The man forgave her for lying her ass off. _For years._ I used to think it was just true love. Now I think it's a twisted co-dependent Savior complex they share."

"How many times have I told you I don't want him back? I don't crawl to anyone. But," she added, "screwing with Carly? That starts my year off _right_."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty One**

"Would you just call him?" JJ pleaded as they treaded over the icy sidewalk between the rink and Al's Diner.

"Oh, is _pwerfect _little JJ _scwared _of making daddy mad?" Parker taunted, "now that he's got a _gwirlfriwend_?"

"Faith _is not _my girlfriend." JJ's voice chose that precise moment to crack, adding to his misery as Parker started howling with laughter. "She's _not_," the protest rattling the air like rusty nails being fed through a wood-chipper. "She's a _girl_ and she's _my friend_----"

"Dude---stop!" Parker had nearly doubled over listening to his brother try and choke out an explanation. Wiping his eyes, he let the last rumbles of laughter echo away before he tried looking JJ in the face. "That was lame back in the seventies, when it was invented," he assessed, even as another round of laughter escaped at seeing JJ's chalk white face. "Man up and use the word _girlfriend_. Or don't. But don't duck the question it like _that. _They hate it."

"What are you, the relationship guru?" JJ scoffed.

"Dude, when you spend the entire night texting a girl, you're pretty much hooked."

"Stop calling me _dude_," the smaller teen insisted, pushing Parker in the back as they resumed their trek to Al's. "Call Dad. And yes, I don't want another lecture or to get grounded. Faith's choral concert is next week. I said I'd go."

With a duffel full of hockey equipment slung over his shoulder, Parker barely felt the half-hearted shove. "Grounding sounds better."

JJ let the sarcasm pass. "It's not like Dad would've said _no_ or anything," he persisted.

"You want the guys to hear us asking like _children_?" Parker shook his head. "No way." When another protest started, Parker stopped abruptly, turning around and looked his brother in the eye. Speaking just a tad slower than usual, he asked a simple question. "Dude---if we'd told him practice ended early, where would we be right now?"

"At the farm, watching a game, eating a slice of Aunt Emma's pumpkin pie." The thought of Emma's pie brought a smile to his face. "With lots and lots of whipped cream."

"Wrong, we'd be at home shoveling the driveway. It _snowed _last night, brainiac."

"We're going to have to shovel it anyway, Parker."

"But my way, we've had chili fries _first."_

********

"...eight...nine...ten...relax."

Sitting in her bed..._her bed?_...

Or...was it their bed again_?_ _Their bed_. Smiling at how right that sounded, Carly folded her arms, resting them on her knees as she waited. Patiently_._

Or rather, _impatiently_. Which was why she was scrunching her toes into the mattress and counting to ten before releasing them. She'd been forbidden to move from the bed.

Well...not so much _relegated _to the bed as _prohibited_ from joining Jack in the shower.

Waking up, they'd made love again as the midday sun streaked through the windows. And when Jack had playfully grumbled about crawling out of bed to pick up the kids, she'd wriggled against him, nipping his earlobe as her hands wandered down his body.

Naturally, that made him even more reluctant. But with a long, lazy kiss, he'd pushed himself away and warned her to stay put. _Unless_ she enjoyed freezing cold showers.

So here she sat, ignoring the urge to join him anyway.

Another distraction---Jack's cell phone chirped from it's place on the opposite nightstand. Automatically grabbing it, she let it go to voicemail. But not before she noted Parker's number with more than a twinge of guilt.

Finally, pipes and valves squealed in protest, and the steady beat of water ceased as Jack shut the shower off.

_More_ waiting. It wasn't hard to imagine him toweling off, roughly running it from head to toe before wrapping it around his hips and slyly grinning at her as he leaned against the doorway.

"What's that smile about?"

Blushing, Carly tucked the daydream away and studied the reality. Clad only in button-fly jeans, he sat down next to her on the edge of the bed. The shifting weight brought them closer, until her naked shoulder touched his still damp one, resting the weight of her body on his. The scent of her soap and shampoo clung to him, sending a primal satisfaction of ownership deep into her bones.

Affecting a sigh of disappointment, her eyes gleamed mischievously into his. "I was hoping to get more of a show. You're already half-dressed." Her arms snaked around his broad shoulders, one hand threading through the hairs at the base of his neck.

"Or still half-_un_dressed."

Her stomach did a little flip-flop as he ran his finger lightly over her bottom lip. "Such an adorable outlook," she whispered.

"Adorable?" he murmured, leaning in to kiss the corner of her mouth.

"Definitely," she rasped, nodding her head as his lips met hers. His tongue swept freely along with hers, sending a powerful surge into both their bodies. Carly shifted, sliding onto his lap, crushing her breasts against the solid muscle of his chest. His fingers roamed over her skin, teasing down her rib cage, along her hip, to the small of her back while his other arm slipped around her waist, urging her into his body.

The piercing ring of his cell echoed in the room, drawing a groan of annoyance from them both. Jack continued nuzzled her neck as he leaned through her to grab it, toppling them over onto the mattress, pinning her under his full weight. Spying the familiar number on screen, Jack mouthed "Parker." As he reluctantly sat up, Carly scrambled away and grabbed her robe.

Taking a moment himself, Jack answered on the fourth ring. "Hey buddy, what's up?"

"Practice is over. You're almost here, right?"

"What? You're supposed to have the ice for another half hour yet."

"I think the coach partied a little too hard last night. I _called_ ten minutes ago and left a message."

Carly offered an apologetic smile as Jack began rubbing his forehead, trying to delicately spin an excuse. "I must have hit a dead zone and missed it. Sorry. I'm running a little late---"

"I can call Mom," Parker offered.

"No--no, don't bother. I'm on my way. Just sit tight. Better yet, why don't you and JJ go to Al's for a hot chocolate? My treat." Relieved to get a grudging acceptance, Jack hit the end button and exhaled loudly. "The one day---" The sight of Carly gnawing on her lower lip stopped him mid-thought. "What's on your mind?" he asked, frowning thoughtfully.

"Nothing," Carly dismissed.

Jack raised his eyebrows, not fooled. "Wanna try again?"

"It's just---we can't exactly jump as fast as we used to, Jack."

"It seems we _can_," he replied lightly, making a concerted effort to keep his voice perfectly level. Not that it made a difference, the hesitant look grew in Carly's eyes. He tried to reassure her. "I meant it when I said we'd take it one step at a time.""

"That's us." Carly sat down beside him on the bed and took his hand, interlacing their fingers. "It's a chance _we_ take. I can't...I don't want to put the kids through anything they're not ready for," Carly said softly, testing the idea as she spoke. "I've already put them through so much."

"You're overthinking this, sweetheart. The kids will be _thrilled_ to see us back together."

"J.J. and Sage---yes, definitely. Over the moon, into orbit around Jupiter I'd bet. JJ doesn't say it often, but I know he misses being a family, and Sage..." A lump formed in Carly's throat at the mention of their little girl. "Sage has never really stopped believing we'd get back together. She even begged me to stop your wedding to Janet. But Parker---he's not four years old anymore Jack. He can't just wake up one morning and be told over chocolate chip pancakes _Jack's going to live with us now_. He's older. He knows what it means, thanks to Janet's precocious---"

"Okay, okay," Jack squeezed her hand and cut off her with a kiss before she got upset remembering the last intrusion into their lives. "First of all, Parker's a teenage boy, and I hate to tell you, but _trust me_, he was thinking about sex long before Liberty showed up. Second, she is still Brad's daughter, she's my niece---"

"Oh, _please._ If anything, I pity that girl, growing up under Janet's roof as she mattress-danced her way through the Midwest," Carly scathingly informed him. "It's actually very sad when _Brad_ is considered a good influence."

Being just as surprised his airhead brother had stepped up in the fatherhood department, Jack chuckled at her brutal assessment. "The point is, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

Carly's eyes flashed. "Not with that screwed up girl! Parker's first love should have been some sweet girl-next-door he'd take to Al's and share a milkshake with! Not some teasing slacker who dresses like a miniature version of Janet!"

Jack covered his mouth and smothered a laugh.

"This _isn't_ funny, Jack!" she responded, slugging him in the shoulder before rising from the bed to pace in front of him.

"It is when you start sounding like Barbara."

Carly froze, and pointed a finger at him. "If you know what's good for you, those words will never, and I _mean_ never, cross your lips again!" she muttered through clenched teeth.

"Okay...you sound like Margo then, when she was all over Gwen for sleeping with Casey."

"That's a low blow," Carly retorted, eyes narrowing in displeasure. "Barbara's a control freak and Margo---"

Jack caught her in mid-sentence as she backed away, wrapping his arm around her waist until her back was firmly against his chest. "Margo's a mother who doesn't think any girl is good enough for her fine, upstanding sons," he finished for her, resting his chin on her shoulder. Softly he added, "And I don't suppose it's occurred to you some mousy little trombone player wasn't going to get Parker's attention. Look at Faith---she's had a crush on him for years, and he barely notices her. I think he sees something in Liberty that reminds him of you---"

"---oh _thank you _for that little assessment---"

"---and he couldn't help but fall for her," Jack finished. "And I think you'd like her too, if Janet wasn't part of the package."

"You've been catching _Oprah_ on break again, G-man?"

Her body softened against his slightly, and Jack took advantage, cradling her closer. "No...but I spent more time around them last summer. Liberty's definitely flighty, shallow when she wants to be and smart-mouthed. But that's the tough little shell she shows to the world. And _that_ reminds _me_ of _you._"

"She's hurt him, Jack," Carly sighed, wrapping her arms with his. "You dumped Janet, and she dumped him. He's too proud to show it, but he hurts. And on top of everything the past couple of years, I worry about him. He's always afraid the other shoe is going to drop and crush him. You felt it---didn't you? How tense he was during Christmas? _Christmas_, Jack. He couldn't even relax with his family for a couple of days. He didn't even want a birthday party."

"Carly!" Jack exclaimed. "He's sixteen. He wants his driver's license, a car and to be in the starting lineup on his hockey team. And _maybe_ a girlfriend, if he's lucky. Not necessarily in that order," Jack mused. "But the one thing a sixteen year old boy _doesn't _want, is to spend his birthday, which just happens to be a prime party night, with his mom and siblings blowing out candles and playing Parcheesi."

"Why the _hell _not?" Carly burst out. "Oh, I know why not," she admitted after a moment as Jack chuckled in her ear. "But damn it, I know when something's off with my kid. There's this huge guilt---"

"Hey, stop. Y'know, it's not just you. Or what happened with us. He got hit pretty hard. Jen died, Hal died, Adam took off. Like you said, he's not four any more. We can't solve it with a plate of chili fries or an ice cream cone. I think you're right---he worries too much. Doesn't trust whenever things are going smooth. That night he caught me talking to Janet, he assumed the worst---"

"What _worst_?" Carly questioned.

"Does it really matter?"

"Yeah, I think it does, Jack. What could he possibly assume from a conversation in the freezing cold?" she demanded, craning her neck to look at him.

"You're not going to like it," Jack warned. When her gaze didn't let up, he acquiesced. "He thought she might be pregnant." Carly tensed in his arms again, as if she'd seen an atomic mushroom cloud on the horizon. "She's not. And I made it clear to him we were just talking."

"Oh. My. God." Carly paled as her nails dug into his forearm. "Are you _sure_, Jack? I mean, it never even occurred to me that you---that she---she'd do anything to get you back, Jack. I can feel it."

"I'm positive. Neither of us wanted a child, Carly, I swear."

The blood rushing in her ears dulled a bit, goosebumps emerged on her flesh. The thought of Jack tied forever to that woman was too much to contemplate.

"Take a breath, Carly." Jack caught her startled gaze and repeated himself. "Take a breath." He relaxed when she nodded and inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly. "We're getting way, way ahead of ourselves. It's not like I was going to pack up my things tonight and burst through the door yelling _Daddy's home!_"

"Why do I get the impression you're making fun of me? I'm not the only one here who jumps at the speed of light. I get a lot of flak for it, but you, Jack Snyder...you're either _in_ or you're _out_. There's no middle ground with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He released her so he could look her in the eye.

"Like you didn't propose to Janet forty eight hours after being in our bed? Like you didn't want a divorce twenty four hours after walking out our door?" Carly accused.

Jack cursed under his breath. "Is this really about Parker? Or are you the one who doesn't trust me?"

"That didn't come out the way I---" Carly backtracked. "I trust you, Jack. I do. But c'mon---we're a long way from solid ground here. And as much as I want this to work, I also don't want to drag the kids through another breakup if it doesn't."

Jack reached out, brushing a curl tenderly off her face. "Lady---you give me enough time, and we'll have everything we've ever wanted."

*********

"Admit it---this was a pretty good idea," Parker bragged, finishing his second plate of chili fries and hot chocolate.

"I'm stuffed," JJ confessed, pushing away his plate. "But it was more luck than anything else---coming up with your brilliant idea the _one_ day of the year Dad just happens to be running late."

"Karma, grasshopper, karma," Parker intoned with a mock calm and wise air. For which his brother kicked him under the table. "Ouch," he yelped, rubbing his shin. "That _hurt_!"

"What, the all-knowing Parker didn't anticipate that karma coming at him?" JJ sniped, laughing.

Retaliating, Parker threw a ketchup laced wadded up napkin at him, while JJ returned fire, missiling cold cold french fries in his direction.

"Figures." Liberty's chilly voice cut through the fun-and-games, bringing the boys to a halt, as JJ's last cheese covered french fry hit her coat and stuck like glue. "Kids playing kiddie games. Is this McDonald's or Al's Diner?"

Parker turned beet red, hastily brushing cold french fries off him. It was the first time she'd spoken to him since the day of the wedding. That had ended with a vicious hang up, after telling him she never wanted to speak to him again. Until now, the closest he'd gotten to her was across a crowded hallway at school, where she and her friends would turn and walk in the opposite direction whenever they saw him.

Seeing his brother so flustered, JJ broke the silence. "Hey Libby. Sorry about that," he offered, reaching out to pick off his projectile. She put her hand up, blocking him from touching her.

"_Liberty_," she insisted. Ignoring him, her eyes focused on Parker. "Just do me a favor. Keep your _loser_ dad away from my mom. She's finally feeling good again, and I certainly don't want him ruining it!" Finished, she turned on her heel and paraded off, rejoining her friends in the corner booth.

"I gotta get outta here," Parker said sourly.

"Wait---"

"Just stay here!" Parker barked, shrugging on his jacket. "I'll wait for dad outside."

Defeated, JJ watched as Liberty stared Parker down and he stormed out.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note---thanks to everyone who's tuned in, whether it was for the first time or after I picked it up again. There's always that little part of you that cringes wondering if people will think you're an idiot. (LOL) And I truly appreciate the reviews. :)

Oh...smut alert. ;) (There had to be some reward for waiting so long for the next chapter.)

**Chapter Twenty Two**

"_Mom_! Where's my sweatshirt?"

"_Mom_! Where's my hockey stick?"

"_Mom_! Is there any more orange juice? And tell JJ to stop putting empty containers back in the fridge!"

So her day began. And after directing Sage to the laundry room, JJ to the garage, and Parker to the bottom shelf and reminding him he seemed more inclined to throw containers out when it wasn't his turn to empty the garbage (a habit neither of the boys indulged in at Emma's she was fairly certain), Carly drew a deep breath and thanked God the kids were finally making it back to school today.

Not only had they gotten a full two weeks for winter break, but a heavy snowstorm had moved through late Sunday night, making Monday a snow day.

JJ and Sage were anxious to get back to school. Parker had been in one long, disagreeable teenage mood since coming home New Year's Day, a fact unable to be ignored by anyone he came in contact with. She was fairly certain it had something to do with Liberty, and that JJ knew what triggered it. Because as snarky as Parker had been to everyone, JJ had gone out of his way to deflect attention from Parker whenever possible.

It had worked for the most part, until Jack stopped by for lunch yesterday afternoon.

Uncharacteristically, Parker had been insistent on snow removal from the moment school had been officially been called off. He nagged JJ and Sage to help, and went about hauling the snowblower out of the garage, while Sage cleared the walkway from the front step to the driveway, and JJ started the back porch. Carly had actually been rather proud of him, because it was one of the chores she knew he truly hated.

She didn't remember at what point it became clear things were not going well. The snow was wet and heavy, regularly clogging the snowblower. Then it started to spit and sputter, refusing to run at all. Parker would fiddle with something, get it to run, only to be frustrated when it died again.

Jack had called at eleven, wondering if having lunch as a family was "moving too fast" in her estimation. With Sage in the room, it had been impossible to do anything but answer blandly...but she told him pizza sounded like a wonderful idea.

By quarter to twelve, Parker had gotten half the driveway done, while JJ had gone ahead and done the sidewalk on the edge of the property. She called them both in to wash up for lunch, off-handedly mentioning Jack was joining them. JJ, excited, stormed inside, stopping only at her insistence he shake off as much snow from himself as possible. Parker, on the other hand, had steadfastly refused to stop, muttering to himself as he tweaked the blower yet again.

Just at that time, Jack had pulled into the driveway, parked, and with pizza boxes in hand, stopped to see if he could help.

Clear as a bell, both she and Sage (who stood beside her on the porch hoping her favorite cheesy breadsticks were also on the menu) heard Parker's response.

_"I don't need your fucking help!"_

Sage's jaw had dropped open, not sure what to make of her brother dropping the f-bomb. Not only in front of their parents, but directly at one. The next moment almost broke her heart.

Jack told his son to calm down before he spent the next week without his computer. To which Parker snapped _"whatever"_and stood up, knocking the boxes out of Jack's hands into the snow. Both pizza and breadsticks had survived, but with a great deal less cheese on top.

"What is _with_ that kid?" Jack hissed, as they stood in the kitchen after Parker stormed to his room. Carly scraped cheese off the box lid and slid slices onto plates while Jack hunted in the fridge for sodas. "I told him we'd fix it after lunch, go to the hardware store. It looks like the belts need to be replaced. And he just bit my head off!"

"He's a teenager, Jack. He's been moody all weekend. And I'd bet it's about Liberty," Carly answered.

"It's long past time he got over her," Jack reproached.

Careful of JJ or Sage hearing her, Carly peeked around the corner and made sure they were still at the table before speaking in a hushed tone. "How come I have to _like_ her?" Carly asked caustically. "But you can go on about how Parker needs to be over her?"

"_Maybe_ I just wanted your attention on _me..._" Jack breathed in her ear. Sidling up behind her, he couldn't resist running a hand down her jean-covered thigh. "Damn snow day," he muttered regretfully.

"_Mom_? Can you bring me another slice?" Sage yelled from the table.

Jack quickly broke away, stepping back as if scalded. A smug smile matched the twinkle in Carly's eyes as she brushed past him to join the kids, knowing he was missing her as much as she missed him.

The rest of the day finished smoothly, if not in a warm family moment. Jack and JJ had finished clearing the snow, while Parker spent the afternoon in his room, music blaring from his room just loud enough to make his point.

"Your dad's going to be here any minute, guys!" Carly yelled up the stairs.

Parker was the first to trot down the stairs, complaining. "If I had _my license_, I could drive us to school and save everyone time."

"And give me gray hair? No thank you," Carly pronounced firmly. "Even with a license, there's no way you'd be driving in conditions like today. Clear?"

"Can I get my own car?" he asked, testing.

"That's something your father and I will have to discuss."

"Why?? You're my mom! I'm living here with you. I've got more than enough money in my trust fund---"

"Hold on...that's for your future, Parker."

"Well, _driving_ is definitely in my future," he argued. "Nothing flashy, Mom, I promise."

Carly crossed her arms and refused to blunt her most motherish instincts. "_If_ you get a car, it's going to be a boring, sedan-slash-tank that barely tops thirty miles an hour. And meets your father's approval."

"He's not my father," Parker muttered under his breath.

The out-of-the-blue comment left her thunderstruck. And even if she could have replied, Carly didn't have time before she heard Jack pull into the drive. "Dad's here!" she called upstairs again, to which JJ and Sage both came clattering down like a small herd of elephants. But Parker got red-faced and cast his eyes downward as she challenged his statement with a lift of her eyebrow.

"Is everyone raring to go?" Jack asked cheerily, closing the door quickly behind him.

Two kids chorused "almost" while one rolled his eyes, grabbed his stuff and marched out the door without another word.

Jack exhaled heavily, disappointed by the growing distance between him and Parker. Carly discreetly rubbed his forearm and sent him a reassuring look. _Teenager_, she mouthed. Jack nodded his head slightly and scratched his brow, a signal he understood, even if he didn't like it.

"Let's get going, guys," he said out loud, seeing Sage and JJ almost bundled up against the weather.

"Wait! Lunches!" Carly called out in a panic, dashing to the kitchen.

"Go!" Jack motioned the kids out the door before sprinting behind Carly.

One step into the kitchen and he found himself being dragged to the side as Carly inched up on her toes to kiss him.

His hands reflexively wrapped around her back, bringing her against his chest. "What's that for?" he asked, enthralled, when she pulled away.

"To make sure you hurry back."

"And if that didn't work?" he coaxed, running a finger down her spine.

Her face lit up with a devilish grin as she stepped back and pulled the tie of her robe loose, peeling it open. "I stacked the odds in my favor."

Amused, Jack stifling a laugh. "You really know how to get a guy's attention." He reached out to caress the hem of the fire-engine red Chicago Bulls t-shirt she wore. "Shouldn't I have gotten this back by now?" he asked, skimming her bare thigh as he pushed the material aside.

Carly slapped his hand away gently. "I've never gotten my fifty bucks, buddy," she whispered, leaning in, her breath warm on his ear.

Not surprisingly, an immense surge rushed straight to his groin. And he wasn't the only one to notice.

Beaming, Carly pushed him away. "The kids are waiting," she reminded him. Flushing, Jack cleared his throat before pecking her cheek and heading out. She let him get to the door before calling out, "Jack---don't forget these!" Walking to him, she thrust three lunch bags into his hands. Grinning triumphantly, she closed the door behind him and bolted upstairs.

******

Thirty minutes later, he was back, discreetly parking in the garage thanks to the mysterious appearance of the second remote in his jacket pocket. Entering the back door off the kitchen, he called out softly, "Carly?"

"Hmmn?"

The soft, throaty reply led him into the kitchen. Her petite length was stretched to it's limit, up on her tip toes, one hand on the counter as her other stretched to the top shelf, wriggling her fingers trying to pluck a package down from just beyond her reach.

The only difference between this and millions of similar scenes in households across America was his came clad in a lavender pair of hiphugger panties and matching bra.

"I could use some help," Carly said, slyly smiling at him over her shoulder.

His eyes raked over her, taking in every curve, from the slender calves, to the curve of her hip, to the creamy rise of her breasts. The color accentuated the rosy undertone of her skin; her irises seemed to absorb it and become a deep blue-purple. The voice was smooth and cool, but there was a hunger in her eyes she couldn't hide. At least from him. "Could you?" Stepping behind her, with barely an inch separating their bodies, Jack effortlessly brought the package to her grasp, grazing her fingertips before sliding his hand down to the counter beside hers.

"Thanks," she said nonchalantly, opening the package. "Would you like some?" she offered, holding out a piece of black licorice.

"Isn't it a little early?" he asked, watching her bite off a piece of his favorite candy.

"It's five o'clock somewhere." The corners of her mouth raised in a wicked little smile. "My one indulgence for the day."

"Any plans?" Jack asked, playing along, making small talk. "I was thinking about a trip to the mall." Deftly he slid a heavy coil of hair over one shoulder, exposing the back of her neck as his finger glided along her spine. "Didn't you say something about Sage's ice skates needing to be sharpened?"

"I----" Her response was cut off by the searing imprint of his lips on the nape of her neck. Carly let her head drop, savoring the delicious, intimate sensation that clouded her mind to rational thought. The smell of leather enveloped her as he wrapped an arm around her waist, planting another teasing kiss between her shoulder blades. Anticipation turned her mouth dry as he moved to her collarbone, then her shoulder. "_IthoughtI'dstayhome_," came out in one long, shuddering breath.

"Sounds like a plan." His hands sank to her hips, propelling her around into his embrace. Claiming her mouth, Jack groaned at the feel of her tongue darting with his, the licorice adding a spicy tang to their kiss. Her body molded around him, letting him feel a pulsing throb deep at her core that matched his own. Carly pulled at his jacket, and he readily shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor while he raised her to the counter top, caressing the length of her leg as it wrapped around his hip.

Carly arched against him, hands sliding under his shirt to feel the bare skin of his back. Her nails dug into muscle as Jack's lips traveled down her neck to the swell of her breasts, swiftly setting off an intense ache, nipples hardening in response. Her body hummed at a higher pitch, her skin acutely sensitive to each subtle manipulation of his lips and tongue. A low, indistinct, but definitely satisfied moan from her had his lips curving upward against her flesh, pleased to hear her approval.

"You're j'_mmm_akin'..._mmm_ee...crazy." Carly's voice came out a raspy timber, the _mmm_'s catching in her throat, mixing with intermittent moans.

Jack raised his head, gently resting his forehead on hers as he cupped her face. "That's my line."

There was a spark of humor in his eyes that sent another surge of lust racing through her veins. Giving in to frustration, regret or even destiny was one thing. There would always be drama and a pure chemical _heat_ between them. Seeing _and feeling_ the lighthearted warmth come oozing out of him---that's what had her heart bursting at the seams.

"H_mmm_n..._mmm_aybe it should be." Carly said, sliding her hand down the muscled thigh to the excited flesh trapped against it. She leaned forward, lightly kissing down to the fast-beating pulse at his throat, nibbling at the spot it joined his clavicle. Mercilessly, she swept her tongue over it again and again, letting the roughened surface scrape tantalizingly over the taut flesh. It was his turn to feel the blood in his veins race, to ache as she teased him to a heavy fullness.

Wordlessly, she stopped, sliding seductively against him as her toes hit the floor. Grabbing his hands in hers, she pulled him toward the living room. "Unless you wanna give Mrs. Firkus a free show."

Carly shivered at the look he answered her with.

They stumbled up the stairs, tugging at clothing, until in frustration Jack lifted her up, letting her wrap her legs around his waist. Kicking the door to their room closed behind them, he coaxed her down as they reached the edge of the queen sized mattress.

"Why am always more naked than you?" Carly asked, annoyed. She hastily worked the shirt over his head, tossing it aside to finally feel the hot smooth skin of his chest under her lips.

He unhooked her bra, flinging it away as he wrapped an arm around her waist, leaving her panties tangled somewhere on the floor. "Coincidence," he answered, offering the first excuse that came to mind. "And you're very impatient," he added breathlessly, swallowing hard as her hands made quick work of his belt and pushed the jeans off his hips before stretching out on the bed, sliding back as he dispatched them and leaned forward to feel her naked flesh on his.

His knee nudged her thighs wider, and Carly lifted her hips as she guided him inside, sinking his heated flesh into hers. Sighs of completeness gave way to a gnawing hunger. Thrusting and rising together, they fed their need, desire coiling into a tight sense of anticipation as sweat broke out on their skin. They traded places, Jack curling his fingers into the flesh on her hips as Carly rocked above him, taking him in deeper as her skin flushed in exertion.

Jack pushed himself up, cradling her body as tell-tale tremors started rippling through Carly, erratic glimpses of the bliss just beyond their reach. Carly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, blotting out everything but Jack and the wanton demands coursing through her body. Her lungs burned, sweat bathed her skin, a deep primal urge overtaking all of her senses.

The only constant was him. His hands teased her delicate flesh, his lips left a burning trail over her skin. She gasped in raw pleasure as he drew her nipple into his mouth, scraping the sensitive tip with his tongue and teeth until she thought she'd explode. He exploited every sensual weakness, enticing her to the edge, only to ease her back again.

As Carly swayed in his arms, Jack felt her throbbing all around him, unsteadily jerking her hips as she fought to bring him with her. She churned against him, rocking against the pulsating length embedded in her, her nails leaving little furrows in his skin as she gripped him tightly to her. Suddenly pants became shallow, her body arching against him as the first quakes shimmered through her, becoming deeper and faster as her orgasm crested, surging through her body like lightening.

The feel of her collapsing around him melted any control he had left, and Jack gave into the heated carnality of her release with his own. "I love you," he murmured, gently smoothing damp tendrils off her neck as they sank into the mattress and she curled into his side, drifting into a hazy sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

It had always been hard to think around Jack.

Even in those first moments- under the unforgiving Montana sun, his new steel-toed work boots glossy against sandy dirt of the ol' Double X, the olive green t-shirt surreptitiously molding to his chest with every disbelieving huff he threw in Molly's direction-Carly felt a dangerous rioting of thoughts in her head. Her well rehearsed "explanations" turned to sawdust, coating her tongue like a honky-tonk dance floor. And suddenly Molly's childish plot for Holden seemed minor to learning the mystery man's name.

And then he looked _at_ her. Not _through_ her.

Since childhood, she had fought to be _seen_-even before she understood why-as herself. Not some reflection of Sheila Washburn, Musselshell's notorious wild child. She understood now her father had been caught in a foggy jumble of hurt and love. It was Lee and her ilk that had kept Carly chained to mother's ghost; cursed by blood and branded as trouble.

A lot of things had changed since the day they'd met. But not that lightheaded, flutter in the stomach, snap-and-crackle connection. Now she simply embraced the tumult like the radiant sun on a tropical beach.

Of course, some times were still harder than others...hot, sweaty and wrapped around Jack like fine Italian leather being at the top of _that _list.

Jack ran his thumb along her jaw before smiling and kissing her between raspy breaths. "Hello, stranger."

Carly wound her arm around his neck, as much to bring them closer as to alleviate some twinge right under her shoulder blade. Noting her office door needed to be looked at before greeting her G-man there again, she couldn't help but melt at the slow smirk crinkling in the corners of his smile. When _it_ was good, it was very, _very_ good. If you couldn't smirk after great, volcanic sex..._what was the point_?

"And _you_ are ?..." she teased.

He growled, spinning her across the room. The springs of her office couch sagged audibly; yielding as they toppled into its leathery caress. One moment she was laughing with delight, feeling like some adult-rated version of a ravaged princess, the next her toes were curling as he took possession of her mouth, his kiss leaving her breathless.

At the end of April, it was four months into this passion. It was still their secret. There had been a couple of speculative looks here and there-Lily especially-but after a couple of denials and with no obvious movement, the looks and questions dwindled away. The calm written off as a rare cooperative period between the two.

So Jack continued to bunk at the farm. They carried on the charade of splitting time with the kids, but little by little they were recentering the family in Milltown. Jack used his odd work hours as an excuse to stay at the house while Carly worked, occassionally (but not too often) sleeping in the den overnight.

But the kids were still in the dark. Which didn't set well with either of them, but for different reasons.

"You changed shampoo," Jack said, kissing her nape, where silken strands of hair laid plastered against her skin. She was soft and pliable beneath him, effortlessly conquering his senses with each ragged breath, every possessive touch, every sizzling glance coming from beneath her eyelashes.

She smiled, pleased that the subtle rarely escaped Jack's notice. Carly arched into him, content to feel his hot breath on her neck as she swept her hands over the hard and fluid lines of his body. "You're supposed to be in Indiana," she added, curling her nails into flesh as he nipped lightly at _the_ spot that always stirred up her deepest, darkest hunger.

The flip side of the secrecy was time together was plotted and carried out with the stealth usually reserved for matters of national security. Which made it just a little hotter, if they were honest with themselves. They didn't need any help in that department, but the anticipation made an already potent situation explosive.

Not to mention, it had been eighteen days since they'd had a chance to grab anything more than a quick kiss.

"Last minute plea deal. And three hours, twenty eight minutes later, here I am."

"You could have driven back in the morning."

"Indianapolis isn't that interesting," Jack retorted, propping himself up on an elbow. He loved this-the intimacy of the moment, the way Carly's skin glowed and her eyes smouldered after they'd made love. He missed having the luxury of time with her. It was an old dilemma that always seemed to find new ways to rear its ugly head.

"Never been." Carly held her breath as Jack's fingers traced over her still tingling flesh. They dipped and swirled, sometimes barely hovering over her skin, other times bold and possessive. Random pathways; expertly provocative.

She might have actually _purred._

A hot flush crept over her body, the enticement edging over into frustration. "I _missed_ you." The small admission was rewarded; Carly could feel the smile on his lips as Jack ran his tongue over her taunt nipple. "_Ooohh..._" came out in a soft, throaty moan. Threading her fingers through his hair she guided him to the other side, coming to a pant as he matched the pulsating rhythm in the deepest core of her being.

What had been-the fast and furious discarding of clothing with no more than a hello before he'd backed her against the office door-was now a deliberate seduction. Writhing hot and slick underneath him, Jack sank his tongue into her mouth as his thumb found her clitoris, feeling Carly tremble and the intuitively shift her hips to add to the friction.

Carly dragged her mouth away, curling one arm around his neck as she focused on the pleasure building deep in her belly. Her other hand instinctively sought out his erection. A smothered growl signaled her success; the hard ridge flourishing against her soft caress.

Sensing a shift in power, she nudged Jack onto his back, throwing a leg over his hip to straddle him. The heaving of his chest matching hers, Carly tossed her head back, wet her lips, and with one vivid movement, rose up and guided him into her body.

Time splintered; each shard a moment and an eternity. They were the only constants, tethered by bonds mysteriously unfathomable, yet as clear and defined as iron.

Muted shadows carved the office walls while they laid, wrung out and crumpled together in a boneless jumble.

Wearily, Carly laid one arm across his chest and propped her chin on it. With the other, she softly brushed his hair aside with her fingers. "Welcome home, G-man."

It was on the tip of his tongue to remind her they weren't "home", or stretched out in the queen sized bed they'd picked out together a week after he'd brought her and Parker there to live so many years ago. And if they were, they would be like this each and every night. Or at least any time the spirit moved them.

But this wasn't the time _or_ place for that discussion.

"You were on my mind all the way back. My plan was to go straight to the farm, sack out for a couple of hours. Then show up on your doorstep in the morning with something delicious you couldn't refuse."

He

was something delicious she couldn't refuse. Knowing how corny that sounded in her own head, Carly thanked God Molly was the one without an edit button, not her. "Sounds wonderful."

"You're welcome," he said a bit smugly. "Then I saw your car in the parking lot-and lost my mind."

Carly raised her eyebrow. "Glad to help you find it again-and again," she added with a smokey laugh. She slid up just enough to capture his lips for a brief kiss. "Here I was just waiting for you."

"Really?"

Carly smiled. "It sounds a lot more romantic than _I didn't want to go home to an empty house_. JJ's in California visiting Keith, Sage with Gwen for the weekend, and Parker's at the farm."

"Is that a good idea? Emma's not as young as she used to be."

"Don't let her hear you say that," Carly chided.

"You know he can be-_creative_."

Carly bristled involuntarily at the synonym for _liar_. She was not blind to Parker's faults, but she couldn't help but blame herself for most of them.

"He's not hoping to run in to Liberty, is he?" Jack wondered aloud.

"Because Liberty's mucking out stalls every chance she gets?" Carly replied, teeth clenching. She could probably count on one hand how many times Liberty had been back to the farm after she and Janet had moved out. And while she tried hard not to hold Janet against her, it was hard not to consider Liberty's Ciccone-ness as a blight. After dumping Parker, Liberty had begun dating the starting point guard on Oakdale Latin's basketball team. A fact that clearly made Parker miserable.

Reluctantly, Jack chose his words with care. "No. But Brad called me. Janet said he's bothering Liberty."

Wordlessly, Carly's lips compressed into a taut, thin line before throwing all her weight against him and surging off the couch. "Brad _just had_ to call you, huh? _Janet_ probably dialed the phone for him just to hear your voice."

"Don't." Jack came up behind her, grabbing her arm as she finished pulling her camisole over her head.

"Don't _what_?" she snapped back.

"_Don't_ storm off leaving me standing here naked _and_ hungry." It was just an absurd enough answer to make her pause. "Naked _or_ hungry. Not both."

"Go _dress_ yourself," Carly said, making the verb an epithet.

"Great," Jack clapped his hands enthuiastically, ignoring the fact Carly was hurriedly shimmying into her discarded skirt. "How 'bout omelettes?"

Before she could point out Al's was the only place open this early; he was at the office door. "Where do you think you're _going_?" she asked as she struggled with her zipper.

"Where omelettes are usually made-the kitchen."

"Health code violations are the least of your worries," she replied caustically, throwing his jeans squarely into his chest.

Before Jack could utter another syllable, the door crashed into his forehead, driving the knob into his thigh.

"Carly, I-" It took Henry a nanosecond, processing Jack's yelp of pain, his unclothed state, and Carly's startled look to figure out what situation he had walked into. His faced turned beet red.

The next second, Jack was pushing him through the doorway and against the hard brick wall, his arm braced just under Henry's throat. "What the _hell_ are you doing here, Henry?" he barked.

"What-_what_-am am am _I_ d-d-doing?" Henry stammered nervously. His eyes drifted down as he swallowed convulsively, only to snap back up. No man wanted to look at another man's junk. EVER. Well, at least any straight man.

"Yeah, Henry-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

With her raincoat now thrown on, Carly insinuated herself between them, driving Jack back enough to give Henry room to breathe. "Your pants," she hissed under her breath, flashing her eyes back toward the office.

Jack blew out a breath and slowly released his hold. "Don't go _anywhere_," he ordered, backing away as Henry scrunched his eyes shut.

Carly exhaled slowly, the tension leaving with Jack. "Henry-_what the hell_? Ever. heard. of. _knocking?_" she asked, punctuating each word with a satisfying _thwack _of his arm_._

"Me? _Me_?" Henry flinched, expecting another volley. When it didn't come, he cautiously straightened up and inched away from her, loosening the knot of his tie that just seconds before had been uncomfortably pressed against his Adam's apple. "I _certainly_ don't have to ask what _you've_ been doing...in _our _office," he whispered sarcastically. "It's _my office_ too," he added, frowning at the thought of the new throw pillows Vienna bought needing to be dry cleaned. "Knock? On my own door? I knew-"

"Knew? Knew what?" Carly demanded, jamming her finger repeatedly into his chest.

"Oh, please..." Henry threw his arm up to block her. "I'm not an idiot," he said, rubbing his chest where her finger pokes had stung. "You plus Jack...predictable, like Old Faithful or George Clooney dating someone Gorgeous with a capital G."

"That makes no sense at all," Carly retorted. "And it's none of your business." She ignored Henry's eye roll. "But tell anyone-and that includes the Swedish Blabbermouth you sleep with or Her Perkiness, and Jack will be the least of your problems."

"I'm not a gossip," Henry said defensively. "But I'd have thought the news would've brought the Twitter-verse to it's knees. A celebratory parade. Or at least a public rubbing of Janet's nose in it."

"I'm a private person."

"With your plots and schemes, sure. Not when it comes to Jack."

Carly scoffed. "That sounds like Katie talking. She still got a bee in that bonnett of hers? I'd thought Brad would have kept her-_focused_."

"You walked into the man's engagement barbecue waving a tiny little black dress under his nose. There's the legendary walk of shame through the Lakeview dining room Emily told me about, complete with a red ballgown. And don't forget the public dumping of wife number one in a punch bowl. Emily was bitter about losing that photograph for months."

"Exaggeration," Carly declared lamely, wishing for not the first time Oakdale was just a little bigger. Or had shorter memories. "The point is-_this_ is not public. And I want it to stay that way, got it, buster?" A beat later she softened, adding, "and I'm sorry we embarrassed you. Jack was surprised, that's all. He flies into cop mode-it's not personal."

"That is one _scary_ face."

"You wanna explain why you're here?" Jack interrupted bluntly, barefooted and shirt gaping open where buttons could no longer be found.

Henry couldn't help nervously twitching as he tried his best to ignore Jack's withering glare. "I think I left my phone here," he said to Carly. "I don't suppose it's in there?"

Henry's forgetfulness was a running joke with the staff. He'd even left it in the walk-in freezer once. Carly shook her head. "No one gave it to me."

"I'll check the bar." Henry spun, happy to make a quick exit. "_Good morning_. But it seems redundant," he added under his breath, scurrying off as Carly caught Jack's clenched fist and kept it at his side.

"Remind me why I shouldn't punch him in the face- at least once?" Jack called out, his threat echoing into the empty bar on Henry's heels.

"He's the least psychotic partner I've ever had."

"That should tell you _something_." Carly set her chin defiantly, not amused in the least. "Don't look at me like that."

"It's not his fault," she replied as she trailed him back into the office, as he found one shoe in the wicker garbage basket and the other wedged under a bookshelf.

Jack _hummph_ed as he sat on the edge of her desk to put them back on his feet. "This is ridiculous. I _feel_ ridiculous knowing Henry Colman..._naked_ and _Henry Colman_ are never two words I wanted to use in a sentence, and now I have to because he has seen _me_ naked."

"It's taken care of. He's not going to say-"

"That's _not_ the point! I don't want to do this anymore. Sneaking around, making out in dark corners, acting like kids afraid of being caught by their parents."

"All this because Henry-"

Jack shook his head. "Why is it always this way?" he muttered. "Don't you remember how it was with Julia?"

The name still had the ability to ice the blood in her veins. "First wife or fake wife? I need a little clarification," she snapped.

"_First_ wife."

"I know you're not comparing _that woman_-sadistic murdering bitch-to my son. Right?"

"Of course not. You do remember my solution? Caving to every petty demand until she "could deal with" a divorce. While we snuck around like criminals, to avoid upsetting her. You were fed up to here," standing as he raised his arm over his head. "You damn near left me-you as much as left me-because of it."

"This isn't the same thing at all. You ignored everything I said. I knew she was playing you. Parker isn't manipulating anyone. _All_ of them need time. We _agreed_."

"I agreed not to _spring_ us on the kids. I didn't think that meant I'd have to ask Parker's _permission_ to move back into my own damn house!"

"I never-he's a teen-"

"Exactly, Carly. He's a teenager. "Happy" won't hit until he's twenty-five." Jack watched her purse her lips, no quick retort coming. "Don't you think he senses something? They all do? They're not stupid. Sage asked where _we_ were going to take them on vacation this summer. JJ told Keith there'd be no room for a car of his in the garage. Maybe _not_ being upfront makes it worse for Parker."

"What am I supposed to do Jack?" she asked softly. "He's sullen and moody. He's just getting by in school. The minute you pull into the driveway, he barricades himself in his room. If you are in the same room, he talks in monosyallables. I know it's hard, but I don't want to feel like I'm throwing him under the bus either."

"Maybe it's time he talks to somebody professionally."

Carly cringed. Then shook her head violently. "I'm gonna have to think about that, Jack."

"I think that's where we're at." There was a heavy silence. When she finally shrugged her shoulders noncommittally, Jack knew there was nothing else to say. He grabbed his coat, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and left.


	24. Chapter 24

Katie walked in to Al's at 11:45, in time to see Henry speed through the swinging kitchen door followed by the sound of shattering glass.

"Henry!" Vienna yelled crossly, followed by a string of Swedish muttered impatiently under her breath.

"What's got you in a mood?" Katie asked, plopping down in a counter seat. She recognized the intent, if none of the literal Swedish translation.

"My Henry. He is the cat with nine tails."

Katie's eyebrows knit together, confused. Which wasn't that unusual with Vienna's talent for mixing metaphors from several languages. "A cat has nine _lives_-"

"That would make anyone nervous."

"I _guess_. I'm here to pick up the WOAK lunch order," she carried on, wondering if Vienna's thoughts were really any clearer in her native tongue.

"It's almost ready. We're short of staff today. Which is why I'm here not getting my nails done," Vienna replied, stretching out her hand disdainfully to look at the sorry state of her manicure.

"Is Janet in the back helping?"

"No. She called in sick this morning."

The curt reply implied Vienna had been unhappily summoned to cover Janet's shift. "She's probably wearing herself out bartending nights at The Pines," Katie tried sympathetically.

"She better be."

Jack's mood was a shade darker than Vienna's as he trudged down to the kitchen. He'd waved off Emma's offer of breakfast shortly after sunrise, the fight with Carly sitting sourly in his stomach. Rest had eluded him; the more he thought, the more convinced he was he was right. Parker's reaction would only get worse the longer they waited.

"Good morn-" Jack grimaced, Henry's acidic crack ringing in his ears after the morning's fiasco. "_Afternoon_," he backtracked. It rang hollow, even to his own ears.

"There's soup on the stove," Emma replied warmly. She eyed her nephew over the tops of her bifocals. "You surprised me this morning," she observed, as he grabbed a mug and settled for coffee instead.

"They ended up working out a deal. Tiny room; no cable. Glad to go." The cable part was true anyway, Jack reminded himself. The room had actually been charming, with a terrace overlooking a pretty garden. And the king sized bed would have been a bonus in other circumstances. Taking another sip, he changed the subject. "Parker here? I thought I saw his bike."

"He spent the night. We started watching the Cubs game, it got late and I got the feeling he didn't want to go home." She rose easily from the table and refilled her own cup. "He-"

The screendoor creaked loudly, followed by the kitchen door. Holden entered, laying a handful of mail on the table. Jack forced himself not to scowl.

"Momma-she's trying to say he wanted out of here the minute he saw your car this morning."

"That so?"

"Asked him to stay-help me cut down some old apple trees in the orchard. When we came back for lunch, he saw your car was still here, and took off on his bike without saying another word."

So, the son who could barely tolerate him was happy to spend the morning with Holden? It was the last straw. "You couldn't have stopped him?" Jack asked angrily.

"It was pretty clear he wanted to go."

"Well, thanks for _trying_."

"Jack-," Emma intervened, long practiced at dousing fiery tempers. "-he came here on his own. Whatever's bothering him-he needs to deal with it in his own time."

Jack could see his worry reflected in the older woman's face. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly. "I think it's time to have a man-to-man talk with my son."

Emma nodded, buoyed by his confidence. From across the room, Holden frowned.

Jack was only steps from his car when he heard the screendoor bang behind him. "What, Holden?" he asked without turning around.

"Don't push him."

Turning and bracing his arms on the hood of his car, agitation burned through his body. It wasn't easy living with Holden, but out of respect for Emma, he kept cool and detached; politely civil. But _this _was fraying his last nerve. "Who asked for _your_ advice?" Jack barked.

"You."

"That's complete bullshit. I wouldn't ask you for the time of day." Finding his fist spontaneously clenched, Jack flexed it open while he counted to ten. Deliberately lowering his voice, he added, "not anymore."

Holden refused to be intimidated. "When are you going to let it go? Why can't you? We're all adults. We've all made mistakes...grow up, Jack."

"That's your pitch? Grow up? You wanna know _why_ I'm so pissed?" He came back around till they stood toe-to-toe and eye-to-eye. "I trusted you, Holden. Hell, I was _glad_. Carly and I-it was awkward. I was an ass, and I knew it, and I _thought_ my cousin had my back. That he was _helping _my family. But you were just out for you. You just had to prove you were still that bad-ass, mullet-wearing rebel who could get into any woman's pants."

Holden's fist landed solidly on his jaw.

Jack staggered back, gingerly running his tongue along his teeth, tasting blood but no other damage. "If it had been _anyone_ else, I would have seen it. But _you_ were _good old Holden._ And I _trusted_ you."

"So you weren't just too busy screwing Janet to care?"

Jack threw an upper cut, doubling Holden over with a hit to the solar plexus. "Carly could have _died_. Lily could have spent the _rest_ of her life in jail."

Holden sputtered, bracing his hands to his thighs before taking in a deep breath and standing almost erect. "You know what you really hate, Jack? That someone out there could possibly know Carly better than you. That she could need any man more than she needs _you._ I'm living on the other side of your self-righteousness, and I don't understand how _or why_ she put up with it for so long."

"Then we're even. 'Cause I damn sure think Lily deserves better than you. Serving her with divorce papers is the best thing that's happened to her in a long time."

Grimacing at the bluish smudges underneath her eyes, Carly brushed her teeth and twisted her hair up in a butterfly clip.

The silence she'd wryly joked about with Jack this morning still hung over the house while she poured her cup of coffee. So much so, she escaped to the back deck, hoping the fresh air would clear her mind.

She had lain awake for hours asking herself the same question she'd seen unspoken in Jack's eyes when he'd left...was Parker an out? Her excuse to not commit to the man she'd loved nearly half her life? It seemed ludicrous. Her concern for Parker was real.

But was their lack of openess making it worse? Would honesty automatically make it better?

Of course Jack would think so. Snyders were hard-wired to think that way. In Carly's experience, the truth hurt no matter when it came.

She couldn't blame Jack for being angry-she'd never imagined the situation going on this long. But the deeper the rift between Parker and Jack became, the longer she'd insisted on waiting. Now she was stuck.

There was only one other person she'd trusted as much about her son's well-being. "I could use a little help down here, Hal." she said aloud. "Please."

With no bolt of lightening or light-filled apparitions appearing to solve her dilemma, she went for a second cup of coffee and grabbed her phone from her purse. There was a plea from Sage to stay one more night at Gwen's, which she reluctantly okayed by text. The next message was a voicemail from Molly.

_Hey Cuz...call me. Phone tag sucks. Unless you're doin' someone, call me ASAP. __And if you are doin' someone, I want all the dirt._

Color rose to her cheeks. She had been with Jack when the call came. Smiling, Carly pressed the send button. It wasn't that she'd been outright avoiding Moll, who was in L.A.. She wasn't all that sure Moll had mastered the time difference-most messages seemed to arrive in the wee hours after Carly was in bed. It went straight to voicemail where Carly left a short message of her own.

_Tag, you're it. Get your ass off the beach and call me back. Be home all afternoon...click._

The door rattling startled Carly. Looking up, she saw Parker freeze in the doorway.

"Hello. Nice to see you."

Parker attempted a brief smile. "Hey Mom." With a half-wave, he started bounding up the stairs.

"Parker."

The stern tone stopped him momentarily. "I need a shower. I worked all morning, then I biked here. Reek doesn't begin to cover it."

Carly nodded, relenting to good hygiene. "When you're done, though, we need to talk."

"Homework," he protested. Raised eyebrows conveyed skepticism on that claim. "Paper's due first thing Monday morning."

"You'll have plenty of time. But I want you down here after that shower."

" 'kay," he muttered, darting up to his room.

As she listened to his muffled footsteps overhead, a thought crystallized in her head. _Now, Carly._

If she had analyzed it closely, it would have sounded a lot like Hal.


End file.
